March 2009

I went off antidepressants at the end of 2008 after taking them for about 7 months, and I was looking forward to a fresh start in 2009.  I had been working out, eating healthy, and generally feeling much better even though I was no longer going to therapy or taking antidepressants.  I was now 30 years old and had been married 4 years, but I still wasn’t ready to start trying again.

My period was supposed to start on April Fool’s Day and when it was late, I decided to take a home pregnancy test because I already had some in the apartment.  2 weeks earlier there had been one night after a bottle of wine where we didn’t use any birth control.  But I never thought in a million years that I might be pregnant.  In fact I was so sure, I’d recently attended a good friend’s wedding where I drank more tequila than should be allowed for one evening.  I took the home pregnancy test, and there was a Big Fat Positive staring right at me.  To say I was shocked was an understatement!  After all we’d been through over the past two years, I got pregnant with one shot when we weren’t even trying.  I had been so busy focusing my mental and physical well-being and just living life, that trying to conceive was just something I wasn’t thinking about.  Don’t they say that it’s always the way it happens?

While I had my usual fears about miscarrying, I felt optimistic about this pregnancy because it wasn’t planned.  This was going to be the one that finally made it.  I convinced myself that even though I drank a lot at my friend’s wedding, everything was going to be ok because I didn’t know I was pregnant.  All my checkups were normal and uneventful, though I did have to take daily progesterone suppositories throughout my first trimester — who knows if that’s what ultimately made the difference.  Progesterone suppositories are about as fun as they sound — you insert them with an applicator like a tampon, and then you leak cottage cheese like chunks the entire day.  But I was willing to do just about anything to make sure this pregnancy made it.  Being pregnant again reminded me how desperately I did want to be a mom.

On December 10, 2009, right on his due date, a healthy 8 lb 6 oz Charlie was born.  Maybe everything does happen for a reason, because everything I went through led me to Charlie, and I can’t imagine having any other baby in the entire world.  He was so worth it.


Thanks so much for following along on my long 5 part journey to Charlie.  Here is a quick recap!

2/3/07 – Last day of Pill
2/7/07 – Period
3/19/07 – Period (40 day cycle)
4/18/07 – Positive HPT
5/2/07 – fetus measuring 5 weeks, 2 days; hcG levels <6000
5/9/07 – fetus measuring 6 weeks, 1 day; slight flicker of cardiac activity
5/16/07 – fetus measuring 6 weeks, 1 day (.43 cm)
6/4/07 – RU-486
6/6/07 – Follow up pill  to induce miscarriage
7/10/07 – Period (33 day cycle)
8/14/07 – Period (34 day cycle)
10/3/07 – Progesterone to induce period
10/5/07 – Period (52 day cycle)
11/19/07 – Period (44 day cycle)
11/21/07 – Begin Clomid Cycle 1 (5 days)
11/30/07 – hCG Shot
12/14/07 – Negative HPT
12/17/07 – Period (28 day cycle)
12/19/07 – Begin Clomid Cycle 2 (5 days)
12/28/07 – hCG shot
12/29/07 – IUI
1/11/08 – HPT – BFN
1/16/08 – HPT – BFP
1/17/08: hCG – 401, progesterone – 39
1/19/08: hCG – 1040, progesterone – 37
1/25/08: hCG – 8,462, progesterone – 30, gestational sac + yolk sac, 5 weeks 1 day
2/1/08: hCG – 29,574, progesterone – 29, heartbeat, 6 weeks 1 day
2/4/08: hCG – 36,260 progesterone – 35.7, heart rate -111 bpm
2/12/08: hCG – 67,000, progesterone – 26, heart rate – 139 bpm
2/21/08: no heartbeat, fetus measuring 8 weeks 6 days
2/25/08: D&C
4/1/09: Positive HPT!
12/09: Charlie is born on his due date!

It took exactly two years for us to have a successful pregnancy from the time we first started trying to conceive.  I know many women have had much longer, and much more difficult journeys, but I hope by sharing my story, I can help some people out there who may be struggling with getting pregnant this very moment.