As little as I knew about breastfeeding before having kids, I probably knew even less about infant sleep! Who knew it was so complicated and ever changing? Suffice it to say that sleep is the parenting topic with which I’ve been most obsessed. Even though Charlie is 2 years old now, I’m still obsessed!
These are some interesting and surprising things I’ve learned about baby sleep since Charlie was born:
Newborns
– Newborns have a startle or “moro” reflex that causes their arms to twitch the first couple of months. Because of this reflex, newborns sleep better when swaddled.
– Newborns’ circadian rhythms are not fully developed so they often have their days and nights mixed up.
– Expose your newborn to light, sound, and play during the day, and dark, quiet and as little stimulation as possible at night to help set their circadian rhythm.
– It takes newborns at least 20 minutes to enter a deep sleep, which is why they’re asleep in your arms but wake up as soon as you put them in their crib.
– Ways to get your newborn to sleep include: rocking, patting, wearing, strolling, nursing/bottle feeding, pacifier, swing, bouncer, car ride, playing loud white noise (vacuum, hair dryer), bouncing on an exercise ball.
– Colic doesn’t exist in some cultures where moms wear babies and breastfeed them nonstop throughout the entire day.
– Putting your baby in the crib drowsy but awake gives them opportunities to learn how to self soothe, put themselves to sleep, and not rely on an external sleep prop to fall asleep.
– Babies are most tired before their first nap of the day so this is their shortest awake period.
– Set consistent nap routines so your baby knows it’s nap time.
– The length and quality of daytime naps affects night time sleep.
– Some babies 6 months and older do well on a 2-3-4 hour schedule. (Charlie definitely couldn’t stay awake that long.)
– Most babies drop their fourth nap by 5 months. (Charlie dropped his at 5 months.)
– Most babies drop their third nap by 9 months. (Charlie dropped his at 9 months.)
– Most toddlers drop their second nap by 18 months. (Charlie dropped his at 15 1/2 months.)
– Napping in a stroller or car seat is not as restorative as napping in a crib.
– Sometimes reducing daytime naps can increase night time sleep (if your baby is still getting enough sleep in a 24 hour period).
– Don’t let your baby nap too late or it may interfere with night time sleep.
– Babies have a 45 minute sleep cycle, which is why many wake up after 30-45 minutes into a nap.
– The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program works great for some babies – Eat, play, and put your baby to sleep by 90 minutes of awake time.
– Babies under 6 months of age have a maximum awake period of 2 hours; for many babies 4-6 months it’s much less than 2 hours, and for babies under 4 months the awake periods are even less.
– Put babies down for naps at the first signs of tiredness, or within a designated time frame like the 90 minute sleep program to prevent overtiredness.
Night time Sleep
– Babies sleep better and longer when they go to bed earlier (before 8pm… even as early as 5:30pm).
– Children should wake up around the same time everyday to set their internal clock.
– A consistent bedtime routine like a bath + lotion + pjs lets your baby know that it’s bedtime.
– Many moms wake their babies up for a “dream feed” around 10-11pm to encourage their babies to sleep longer at night.
– By 6 months, most babies are physically capable of sleeping 10-12 hours straight at night.
– Sometimes babies that wake up for middle of the night feedings are doing so out of habit — they get hungry at that time because they’re used to eating at that time.
– Children have a strong shift in their sleep cycle around 4:30am, which is why so many of them wake up at this time.
– Early morning wake-ups are one of the most difficult sleep problems to solve.
– Make sure your baby gets enough calories in the daytime so they’re less likely to wake up for night time feedings.
– If wet diapers don’t bother your baby, don’t change them in the middle of the night as it will stimulate them.
– Even making eye contact with your baby at night can stimulate them.
General Sleep
– All babies are different. Different things work for different babies, and some are better sleepers than others.
– Consistency is key no matter what sleeping methods you use.
– Often fussiness, tantrums and sleep problems are related to being overtired and/or not getting enough sleep.
– Once a baby is overtired, adrenaline kicks in and it’s much more difficult for them to fall asleep.
– Tired signs include yawning, getting quiet, staring off in space.
– Overtired signs include fussiness, eye rubbing, looking wired.
– Sleep props are when a baby relies on an external force – rocking, nursing, stroller – to fall asleep.
– An eat, play, sleep schedule ensures that babies do not fall asleep nursing/taking a bottle.
– Developmental milestones such as rolling over, crawling, growth spurts etc. often affect sleep.
– Sleep begets sleep.
– White noise and black out shades often help lengthen naps and night time sleep.
– Give your baby a chance to fuss and settle down instead of picking them up as soon as they start making noise.
– Babies generally sleep better on their stomachs (but you shouldn’t put them to sleep on their tummies… they will eventually roll over and do it on their own).
– Babies fall asleep better in a cooler room (less than 72 degrees).
– Many babies experience a sleep regression at 4 months because they’re going through so much developmentally. (Charlie did because he started rolling over in his crib.)
I think sleep training is a whole different beast, so I’ll write a separate post on that. Even having studied so much about baby sleep, it’s still a mystery to be solved for me. Olive has been sleeping better the past couple of nights, but when it comes to baby sleep, as soon as you think you have it figured out, it completely changes on you again.
What interesting or surprising things have you learned about baby sleep?
coffee bean / 49 posts
Mrs. Bee: This is a great summary! Would you be willing to share some of your resources? What books/websites have you found most helpful as you’ve learned all you can about infant sleep?
guest
great comprehensive list! i didn’t know a lot of these things either until a became a mom, then the first month postpartum i read like 5 different sleep books and was more confused than ever! eventually got the hang of it though… kinda.
question… when a toddler is ready to drop their 2nd nap, is it the morning or afternoon nap that gets dropped?
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@eastportbride: sure thing! i read all the popular sleep books. i found weissbluth and ferber to be the most helpful just to understand infant sleep (even if you don’t believe in sleep training). the happiest baby on the block is also great for newborns. as far as online resources, this babycenter thread on sleep training is great:
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a5417415/how_to_successfully_teach_a_baby_to_sleep_-_3rd_ed.
And here is a chart on how much sleep babies need at different ages:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GHo4keUb2TVJUlSL1kD6HQcEgaNFBmzoQoOzcpcyas/edit?authkey=CPXE1bsO&hl=en_US&pli=1
at the end of the document you’ll also find links to threads about all kinds of sleep problems.
one of the most helpful things for me though was talking to dozens of real parents about baby sleep and sleep training.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@angela – they drop their morning nap. you keep pushing their nap time later and later until they’re eventually napping around 1pm. it took us a couple of weeks to do with charlie. i’ll write a post on it soon!
clementine / 958 posts
LO started rolling over for the first time a couple days ago, and that night it was impossible to get her to sleep. I thought I was sort of being crazy blaming the poor sleep on the rolling. Glad to hear that milestones like that actually do affect sleep! Totally didn’t know that.
ETA: We’ve been using the chart you linked to in one of the comments above since I saw it in one of your posts on a sleep training thread. So helpful! Thank you so much for sharing it!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@mrs. bee – thank you!
@eastportbride – i found that sleep/wt chart that @mrs. bee referenced invaluable! i looked at it every single month to make sure i was adjusting my LO’s schedule appropriately.
persimmon / 1255 posts
Great summary! I’m forwarding this to my newborn mommy friends.
A few things that I thought were interesting:
– Newborns usually run on a 25hr/day cycle until their bodies acclimate to our 24hr one.
– The funny expressions that newborns make are made during their REM cycle
– It’s easiest to wake babies up during their REM cycle.
You mentioned this above but it’s worth repeating cause it’s such an important fact and since it’s so counter-intuitive, most people don’t believe it.
– The earlier babies sleep, the longer they sleep. Keeping them up later does NOT make them sleep better. On the contrary, they’re fussier to put to sleep and wake up earlier than they would normally.
guest
Thanks for the great post. Our LO will be 4 months on Sunday – he’s always been a pretty good sleeper but will NOT sleep on his back unless he is swaddled and in a swing – so we are the awful parents that put their baby to bed on his stomach. I know, how awful right!?! We have an AngelCare movement monitor and he has really great neck/head control. I never thought I could do it but life has been so much better since we’ve started putting him on his stomach.
Anyway, this statement frustrates me…”Putting your baby in the crib drowsy but awake gives them opportunities to learn how to self soothe, put themselves to sleep, and not rely on an external sleep prop to fall asleep.” I’ve read it a lot and tried it several times without any success. I would like to know a statistic on how many babies actually just fall asleep like this, maybe it’s more than I think – if so, I’m a bit jealous.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@carrie – we do it for olive’s naps, and she can put herself to sleep most of the time. at night she’s pretty much asleep when we put her in the crib since she’s half awake when she’s nursing anyway.
with charlie, the only way we were able to put him in his crib awake was with sleep training. post sleep training, he went into his crib awake for all naps and bedtimes and put himself to sleep. so yes… many babies do actually fall asleep like that.
i think it’s about providing opportunities to let your baby fall asleep on their own from a very early age when they’re more adaptable. it gets harder as babies get older (we sleep trained charlie at 4 1/2 months).
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Excellent post! I wish I spent more time reading up on baby sleep rather than worrying about what kind of crib sheets to buy when I was pregnant…would have made the first year so much easier!
My mantra with everything is “Start as you mean to continue.” Basically, start out with putting the baby in the crib awake, swaddled. They’ll fall asleep. I made the big mistake of bouncing and that continued WAAAYYY too long.
guest
@bee – I think you are right, catching them at an earlier age would help and maybe not taking the temporarily easy-way-out as a parent (I’m def. guilty).
I wish I would have read more about baby sleep before I had our LO – it seems like such a simple thing pre-baby. Boy, was I wrong.
guest
@Looch – I agree, I spent so much time worrying about the silliest little stuff when I could have better prepared myself for being a better mommy. I guess the first one is a bit of a guinea pig.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
The bit about babies not having colic in other cultures is fascinating.
GOLD / olive / 65 posts
One cool tip I learned from a sleep expert when Paige kept waking up waaaaay too early in the morning: Put kiddo to bed NO MORE than 4 hours after they wake up from the last nap. So, if she wakes at 3, she goes to bed by 7. If she wakes at 2:30, then she goes down at 6:30. When we started following that rule, she began to sleep later and later. Now, she pretty much sleeps until 7-7:30 each morning. Loving it now!
GOLD / olive / 65 posts
@carrie, we found a secret with the “putting down drowsy” was really putting them down BEFORE they are too drowsy. If she was already yawning and tired we found it was too late and she was crossing into “overtired” land. Then, she would just cry and fuss. But, if we put her down a touch sooner than we thought (when she seemed happy and whatnot) and did our little bedtime routine, she would lay quietly, coo, and eventually fall asleep. Hard to do when the kiddo seems so alert and happy, but I think that’s the magic moment. At least, that’s how it worked for us. Every kiddo is different and we have very little control at the end of the day. (booo!) That, and we swaddled until 6 months or so; it never failed!
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
@hideandseek: really? I am desperate to get LO to sleep later than 5 in the morning. Let’s see what time he wakes up from his nap today and try the 4 hour rule!
I heard also that one thing to do is wake them up about an hour before they wake to disrupt their sleep cycle. I admit I am a little nervous to try that one!
GOLD / olive / 65 posts
@looch: Yep! It really worked. It took a few days, but Paige was waking at 5 every day and driving me nuts. So, I tried the 4 hour rule and she slept ’till 6 the next day. And from then on it moved closer to 6:30. Much better than 5! Over time, it got closer to 7 but that took more time. Also, I continued with putting her to bed early…usually she’s down by 6:30 or 7:00. She always slept later when that was her bedtime.
honeydew / 7968 posts
LOVE these tips! thanks!
cherry / 207 posts
Thanks for sharing Mrs Bee! I think that naps are different when infants and toddlers are at daycare. Thee infant or toddler has to be nap trained prior to daycare, else it is not happening.
Here’s my experiences with Melody.
Melody was not good with naps period. I did not know all the nap facts on your list until I started to read your blog and your entries about sleep and nap training.. Being in daycare since she was 5 months old did not help either. I did not have a schedule for her before she started daycare. Feeds were on demand, and naps just followed whenever and she had an internal alarm for 30 mins nap. There was so much excitement going on at daycare and naturally, they do not not have infant room schedules for babies. She naps for maybe 1 hour max. during her 8 hours at daycare. Bedtime s approximately 6 30-7pm.
She was forced at drop her second nap at 14 months when she transitioned from infant to 1 year olds toddler room. They have schedules and they only have one noon time nap per day. The daycare activities provided her with enough adrenalin to go from 6.30am to 12.30pm before she would go down for her 1-1.5hrs nap. Bedtime s approximately 7.30-8pm. On weekends, she needed her 2 naps which she only dropped after 18 months.
Somehow, miraculously a month after she turned 2, she went from waking up between 6-6.30am and calling out for us when she is awake to sleeping in and even if she is awake, just rolled around and no longer calling out for us. There were no changes to her room or routine or her naps at school (approx. 1hr 15mins). Bedtime s approximately 8.30-9pm.
She was and still is the last one in her class to go down for her naps
With all that I have learnt about naps and sleep, I am doing things differently with my newborn twins. They are on a feed schedule now and I hope to have a nap schedule by the time they start daycare at 5 months.
cantaloupe / 6687 posts
I just want to echo what Mrs. Hide and Go Seek said about putting the baby down in the crib at the first signs of tiredness BUT BEFORE THE BABY IS TOO DROWSY. I was waiting too long and put her down when she was nodding off and naps were a battle…I could not understand what it meant to put the baby in her crib when drowsy because she would cry as soon as I put her down.
But once I started putting her down after her first few yawns (while she still seemed alert and happy) she would just fuss in her crib (swaddled) and fall asleep on her own within 5-15 minutes and STAY asleep (before she would wake up after a few minutes and cry) for at least an hour. It’s made a huge difference in her naps!
pomelo / 5298 posts
@Mrs. Bee: I’m very curious about this particular bullet point…
– Children have a strong shift in their sleep cycle around 4:30am, which is why so many of them wake up at this time.
Can you elaborate? My LO is almost 5 months and we are noticing a problem with this lately. Does anyone have any tips on moving beyond the 4:30 wake up?
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
No luck this morning, still had a 5 am wakeup, but we’re going to be consistent.
Mamag: one thing I read is to wake the baby an hour before they wake up naturally to disrupt their sleep cycle. I am too chicken to try it.
grape / 90 posts
@j0s1e267: I have 9 wk old twin girls. How old are your twins? What kind of feeding schedule do you have them on?? I’m still feeding on demand, and they don’t always eat at the same time. If I’m lucky, they eat 15-30 min after the other.
cherry / 207 posts
@milkteaandpolkadots, my twins are 15 weeks old, adjusted age is 8 weeks because they were 7 weeks early. They spent 6 weeks in NICU and were on strict 3 hours interval feed schedule. We tried on demand for a few day after they came home and it was insane when you add a preschooler and no help into the equation. At the same time, they have their days and nights mixed up so my PD suggested a strict 3 hours interval feed schedule with one long stretch.
6am, 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm and 12mn. We feed one twin first followed by the other so no tandem feeding so it is OK for one twin to feed 15-30 mins after the other. For us, it is usually 30-45 mins after the other.
We pretty much subscribe to the ‘feed one, feed both’ and ‘one down (to sleep), both down’ mantras and so far it is working.
Hope this helps!
guest
ok. i read all the comments am glad am not alone but i am concerned?
my baby will be 2months aug. 11.. this is her routine… fully awake 8 or 9ish or 11is am. depends.. awake till about 2ish sleeps for 45 min. awake 3 by 330 sleeps till about 6ish.. awake 6 to 10 we take her a bath at 830 bottle fed at 9 sleeping mode at 940 sleeps at 10 or 11ish .. wakes up at 3 or 4 am to eat and again at 7 or 9 . when she is feedinf at night she has her eyes closed so am guessing she is still sleeping but feeding. am i doing ok????
guest
o she has really bad colics ive tried the gripe water it helps.. the days she has bad colics shes fully awake and wont sleep more than 30 …
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@ sophie_adaly – she is up way too long before her first nap. the maximum she should be up between naps is an hour and a half at that age.
guest
hello everyone!!!!
my LO will soon be 3 months on the 11th of this month. wow time goes by quick.. updating her sleep :
wakes up at 8ish to eat (4oz) is up till about 930am. wakes up 10-or 1030am. eats at 11am (4 or 5 oz) naps from 12-to about 430 or 5pm.. eats
is awake till about 630 . naps till 745.. we go for a walk on her stroller we get in @ 845 . she eats 4oz. bath her she will at around 945 i feed her 3oz which she takes in @10pm she is down. wakes up at 2am or 3am eats and wakes up at 5am or 7am depends how she eats. between 3am or 5am. but she is great when she awake very active baby.. and feeds just about 3hours her 4oz. she takes more at like 6oz … am a very happuy camper..
guest
@hellobee – how did you handle the 4am shift? If I don’t hold my LO, he’ll wake up every 20 -30 min! Do I just tough it out until he’s old enough to sleep train? Baby is currently 3 months.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@joan – we kept our one feeding for that time and then he dropped it on his own quickly.
one thing you might try is to wake up him before he usually wakes up and do a late dream feed so he is waking up when you wake him up and not when he comes out of a sleep cycle.
guest
My fan8 month old has gone from sleeping 11 hours straight at night to waking every 2 hours again. I’m so very tired. Gonna try some of your tips. Thanks
guest
Great site! My 7.5 month old is a great sleeper but I haven’t been putting him down awake. One opinion was that I need to start putting him to bed drowsy and let him CIO so he learns to self sooth. I tried this the past two nights and he screamed and kicked for almost 15 minutes before falling asleep. Another opinion is that since he’s such a good sleeper he must know how to self sooth and why bother. At the developmentally appropriate time he’ll be able to go to bed drowsy and fall asleep on his own without tears. She thinks I should just enjoy him liking me rock him now. Are there any implications to me waiting until he falls asleep before putting him down? Thanks!
guest
We use the Zipadee-zip for our LO and it worked wonderfully when she startled herself. It gently let her arms down so that she didn’t wake up. I was amazed! We swaddled her before using the zippy.