The older I get, the more I feel an intense urge to purge unnecessary items. Every time I look around my house, I see clutter, clutter, and more clutter.
Papa Y, once a champion hoarder, is slowly starting to see the light, too. For example, once he realized his dusty collection of Atari games will not fetch him a small fortune on eBay, he got rid of them. And I have started to catch him wandering around the house, picking something up, and asking me if I would “miss it.” My answer is almost always no.
Unfortunately, a powerful force is working against my desire to streamline: my child. For every item I have set free at Goodwill, Baby Y’s very presence has meant five more have taken its place.
Babies = SO MUCH CRAP.
While I was pregnant, I fantasized at various points about how I would pen a book on minimalist child-rearing. I would detail the good ol’ days, when kids needed little more than a cardboard box and a kazoo to entertain themselves. And I would opine that surely babies didn’t need five different types of swaddling blankets, a bouncer AND a swing, and then a new bouncer when they outgrow the old bouncer, and …
Well, whatever claim I made to being a minimalist flew out the door when Baby Y was born. I soon realized that any item – any item at all – that promised to make parenthood easier was one that I had to have immediately. I was (am) a total sucker like that.
In reality, I do not regret most of these purchases. The first months with a baby can be so hard. Baby Y’s cradle swing took up a substantial chunk of real estate in our living room, for instance, but he slept so sweetly in it that I would have paid for it in precious gems and solid gold, if forced.
But now that he’s outgrowing a lot of these items, I am getting twitchy again. And the fact that we may have more kids one day means I can’t just throw a big yard sale and reclaim some square footage. And so the swing sits in the corner of the living room and laughs at me. The barely used Bumbo taunts me in the nursery. The bouncer clutters a corner of Papa Y’s office. And so on.
If I got a do-over when it came to the accumulation of baby stuff, here’s what I’d try to do differently:
- I wouldn’t buy so much in advance. (To be fair, I would have blithely ignored this tidbit when I was pregnant, as I’m sure most mothers-to-be do. The nesting urge is powerful, I know.) Some irrational part of me was convinced that I would never again have time to shop after the baby got here. Less time? Sure. No time? Nah. And with the advent of the Internet, you don’t even have to go to the store.
- I wouldn’t abuse Amazon (as much). This especially goes for Prime users. Whatever I want at my door in two days or less? No sales tax? Cheaper than the big-box stores? Yes, please! The number of Amazon boxes that have come through the doors of this house since Baby Y got here is obscene. Oh, and TURN OFF YOUR ONE-CLICK ORDERING, people!
- I would wait a few days before throwing money at the problem. I’ve slowly learned that babies go through phases. Lots and lots of phases. Sometimes they’re long, but sometimes they’re over almost as quickly as they began. When Baby Y was teething, for instance, I was convinced he would be teething for the rest of his life, so I think I ordered every teether known to man. A few would have sufficed. Oh, and when he started fighting the swaddle, I ordered more swaddle contraptions, all short-lived, before I finally figured out that he was probably telling me, “Hey mom, I really don’t need this anymore.”
- I would borrow more items with short lifespans from friends. I would put things like the Moby Wrap, Bumbo, and bouncer in this category. If you find that your child will be an absolute miserable shell of a baby if and when you return them, you can always buy one yourself.
- I would hold off on stocking up on diapers. I have a ton of newborns, 1s and 2s that never even made it onto his behind because I obviously overestimated how many I would need.
- I would try not to buy a lot of clothes. Obviously, this is not new advice, but Papa Y and I snagged a bunch of stuff on clearance and generally had a field day doing so. I figured there wasn’t much harm since 1) we got such great deals and 2) boys generally aren’t on the receiving end of quite as many gifted clothes as girls. Well, combine what we bought with what was gifted to us (much more than I expected) and we have so many outfits that have never been worn or have only been worn once. (However, I will say I have enjoyed not having to do Baby Y’s laundry constantly!)
Do you have any strategies for keeping the tide of baby stuff at bay?
admin / honeydew / 8647 posts
great tips! i was quite restrained in buying things prebaby, but like you once the baby came, i bought like 10 teethers and abused amazon prime and diapers.com! by the time charlie was 1, i had a MOUNTAIN of baby gear.
luckily i live in a young parent dense community and now i buy/sell used as much as i can. i didn’t even save anything that took up space from when charlie was a baby (swing, bouncer, jumperoo, etc). i sold it or gave it to a friend and borrowed or rebought used for olive. i’m addicted to selling things. as soon as olive outgrows something, i immediately sell it or give it to a friend.
you’re right in that the older i get, the easier it is to let go of the clutter. i don’t want to end up on an episode of hoarders!
clementine / 886 posts
I think we did pretty well avoiding too many impulse purchases and trying to avoid some baby gear we weren’t sure if we’d need or want. Now we have to pack and store what he’s outgrown (since I anticipate my SIL having a baby in the next year or so) and get it out of our living space. Not to mention avoiding getting too many toys as DS keeps getting older. Christmas was great – just the right amount, but his first birthday is only 2 months away. I’m sending everyone book-vibes!
We are also on a junk-purging mission right now. We have a xbox, wii and guitar hero guitar that never get used. They are all listed on craigslist right now. We rarely see our table or second couch, since they are all usually burried under piles of stuff. I anticipate a huge spring cleaning and organizing. I HATE clutter and prefer being very minimalist about what we buy/own. Our house is only 1200 sq ft, so it’s easily overrun by stuff.
coffee bean / 35 posts
Just wanted to say that I enjoy all your posts. Such good topics, and well-written!
GOLD / cherry / 144 posts
Thanks for your post. This is helpful for expectant moms who live in small city apts like me!
GOLD / grapefruit / 4961 posts
Great post. I’ve worried about this when we have a baby. I’ve been slowly decluttering in the last year, and I enjoy my home with less stuff.
blogger / clementine / 992 posts
I am totally in the less is more camp. I know it’s impossible for baby stuff not to dominate our lives soon, but I have been very careful about not buying much and eliminating unnecessary items off of our registry. I also remember that after our wedding we returned a lot of items we got from our registry and exchanged for more necessary items (we got an expensive le crueset dutch oven, but no silverware so we exchanged to have what we really needed).
Great tips!
GOLD / apricot / 307 posts
i’ve had this topic on my mind for days! It’s like you’re reading my mind, even the title was similar. I’ve been in a state of packing things away and/or selling and only keeping what I think we will really need to use. But like you, since LO is our first child, the thought that I might need it down the line and having to repurchase seems such a waste is always on the back of my mind. I know for my next child that I am so totallly not going to do what I did with the first.
olive / 70 posts
I am working on this too! (But it is soooo difficult when you plan on having more kiddos.)
I am an internet shopping addict! Turning off one-click shopping is actually a great idea.
blogger / apricot / 337 posts
Awesome post! I have a problem with hoarding and letting go. AND accumulating stuff. Amazon is the biggest culprit. I also blame blogs and the internet– it’s so easy to buy something you think is cute and love on Etsy… then I realize I don’t have enough walls to hang all those cute inexpensive prints!
I also had the same problem of stocking up on clothes. Now I have bins and bins of barely worn clothes in our attic. :(
GOLD / persimmon / 1117 posts
This is something that really has me worried lately. We live in a pretty small apartment and even when we move this spring, I doubt we will be able to afford anything much larger. In a lot of ways, I like living in a smaller place because I find it keeps the hoarding instinct well under control. However, this was before I was 23 weeks pregnant and planning for the arrival of a baby :)
I have already told my mom to PLEASE spread the word to friends/family that I just can’t accommodate a lot of stuff. So in other words, if it’s not on our registry, please don’t give it to us.
clementine / 894 posts
I really needed this post! I’m super afraid of getting over-run by baby gear because I know I have a packrat problem. I love to shop, but I have a hard time letting things go. Oh, those jeans from high school? If I just lost weight, I could probably fit them again one day, right?? :-P
I’ve been getting better about getting rid of things we really never use, though, and I’m hoping to carry *that* mentality, not the over-shopping one, over to baby shopping. Hubs and I have a deal not to buy anything for the baby until after our baby shower(s) since we are blessed with very generous family, and I’m hoping to get some items as hand me downs as well. Crossing my fingers that I can hold out!
hostess / hostess with the mostess / 21631 posts
Great tips! We’ve kept our purchases to a minimum and the house isn’t overflowing with baby stuff–YES! :) Whenever I want to buy something I ask myself “do we ABSOLUTELY need this?” Answer 99% of the time is no.
hostess / papaya / 10329 posts
This is the one part of having a baby I’m not looking forward to. I hate clutter. It stresses me out big time.
guest
Completely agree! Especially with the over-buying for a certain phase (teething, just starting solids– I have to limit myself to 2 baby spoons, why would I need more when I can easily hand wash them?? But they offer so many colors and cute designs..).
I do have a rule for friends and relatives- no buying stuffed animals for the baby! They are so cute and easy to want to buy for baby, but really what do they do besides take up space?? Our baby already has a favorite lovey and since we are not supposed to put them in his crib, where should I store them all?? We have a couple in the nursery for decoration, but I’ve already had to box up some for the basement.
Hopefully we only receive useful gifts– like more baby spoons! :)
blogger / honeydew / 8780 posts
AWESOME post!!!!! I cannot agree more about 100% of everything you said. Yay!
olive / 63 posts
Great post. I would also recommend getting items from a consignment store (we have one called “Once Upon a Child”) which you can sell the items back to when you’re done with them. (Although, this doesn’t help with the multiple kid possibility….)
GOLD / cantaloupe / 5787 posts
i’m considering returning stuff i probably don’t need back – like a changing pad. i don’t need a $100+ one when a thin one on the floor would suffice!
blogger / pomegranate / 3134 posts
@Mrs. Bee: unfortunately, we don’t live in such a place, unless we literally want to give stuff away!
@mrstilly: We will be avoiding big birthday parties for a few years specifically to keep toys at a reasonable level.
@theRoo: Aw shucks! Thanks!
@mrs. tictactoe: We exchanged some gifts. I felt kinda bad, but no one needs 10 hooded towels and such, ya know?
blogger / pomegranate / 3134 posts
@Mrs. Marbles: I also have way more stuff for our walls than we need.
@meredithNYC: I hope people respect your wishes … But be prepared for the opposite. We told people over and over that we didn’t need clothes. Alas. But their heart is in the right place.
@joyjoy: Holding out is hard, but worth it! We did a pretty decent job of that with gear.
blogger / pomegranate / 3134 posts
@rebecca – hahaha we totally have like 6 of the same OXO spoon. Papa Y gets attached to certain brands.
@chicagowife: Consignment is great, especially for clothes. Check gear closely though!
@tequiero21: Yup. I change Baby Y mostly in the floor these days … But it was nice not bending when he was tiny!
GOLD / honeydew / 8413 posts
great advice!!! I always enjoy reading your posts
GOLD / cantaloupe / 5406 posts
Great post. Very insightful. Thanks!
hostess / pineapple / 12851 posts
My daughter is 21 months and I still have problems learning this lesson when it comes to clothes! I am always so scared that she will be cold that I bought her so many hats, gloves, and jackets. In reality, she really only needs one set and maybe two if something gets lost. I swear that I will not make the same mistake again next year with winter clothes. :-)
But as far as gear and toys I think we are very minimal. I’m happy that our house doesn’t look like it has been over run by kiddie stuff. However, we do live in a pretty big house so we have that advantage.
hostess / wonderful pumpkin / 18425 posts
I’m still wondering how you got your hubby to get rid of his video games! If my hubby learns they aren’t worth anything now, just more reason to wait until they do become worth something.
Our house is fully of baby crap, but it’s all stuff we actually use. So I’m ok with it.
persimmon / 1253 posts
Great post. I agree with all your tips! :)
persimmon / 1361 posts
Nice…I definitely try to pass on the goods to moms in need.