Hellobee

I am currently a mother of four.  But the road there was not an easy one.  After several years of TTC and 5 months of fertility drugs with no success, I felt the strong desire to adopt.  I was done trying to force my body to do something it just wasn’t going to do.  So after going through the domestic infant adoption process, we brought home our handsome baby boy in November of 2008. We were notified that our adoption was going to be contested by the birth father, and we would be in for a year of court dates and other complications.  My husband and I prepared to face that together with our parents backing us all the way.  It was going to be a trying time, but I knew we would manage.

My son James was about 1 month old when I thought I had the flu.  I told my husband Ray he had to stay home and watch our son because I just couldn’t get out of bed.  Little did I know that it was not a flu virus that was bringing me down. For a few weeks I was exhausted and moody, although I attributed that to being the mother of a newborn — especially a newborn who had his days and nights mixed up.  I finally figured out it was something different when a bite of cake made me lose my dinner. I was bent over the toilet thinking, “Oh my God it can’t be.”  A few days later I took a pregnancy test and before I was done taking the test, that second line was bright blue.

Holy cow! After years of trying to conceive and then adopting my adorable son, I was pregnant.  I was going to have two children under 1 year old. I thought to myself that I wouldn’t panic yet.  I woke up my husband and all I could think of to say was, “Honey guess what? We won’t have to pay so much for the next baby.”

He looked at me like I was crazy.

I said, “I got a positive pregnancy test.”

We both sat there for a bit, not sure if we should be ecstatic or scared out of our minds. For years I had taken tons of tests and continued to get negative results.  Now as a new mother, I sat there with the results I had wanted for so long.

We decided to be happy.  We went over to my parents’ house to tell them and called my husband’s parents.  It was shocking news to everyone.  I was having a difficult time processing the whole thing.

I scheduled an appointment with my doctor a few weeks later.  I went in by myself because they said it would just be an appointment with a nurse practitioner to get a positive test and set me up with vitamins.  Then I would make an appointment with my OB at that time.  When I got there, I had to do the normal urine test then wait for the nurse practitioner to come into the office. When she came in, she confirmed I was pregnant.  She tried to find the heartbeat, but could only get a mixed reading with mine and the babies’, so she went and got the ultrasound machine. She looked at it for awhile and then told me to wait she was going to get the ultrasound technician to have another look.

Of course now I was panicking.  Why couldn’t she find the heart beat?  Now she wanted a second opinion on the ultrasound.  I knew for sure I must be miscarrying.  I knew they were going to tell me something awful.

The tech came in and they looked at the screen some more.  Then the nurse said “Is that what I think it is?”

I was a mess; I was so scared about what she was going to say.  She leaned over and grabbed my hand.  She said “Congratulations dear. You are having twins.”

ultrasound with twins

I burst into uncontrollable tears.  I would not only have 2 babies under one year, but I would have three. My crying lasted for about 20 minutes. I was a complete wreck.  The nurse practitioner had to explain to the other people in the office that I had a newborn, and just found out I was pregnant with twins. I couldn’t believe the news and my reaction.  I was supposed to be happy, but I could not control my panic.

When I finally calmed down, the nurse practitioner came in and told me I was about 6 weeks along.  We made an appointment for a few weeks out.  Little did I know that would be the last time I had several weeks in between appointments. I was in for a wild adventure of a pregnancy.

I went home and tried to process the information.  My due date was mid August.  My son James would be only 9 months old when he became a big brother of twins.

to be continued…