Let’s talk about something that this future mama thinks is under-discussed and uber important: preparing your dog for children.
Unfortunately, we’ve all heard of families that have to get rid of their pet because of an incident between the pet and a child. These situations are tragic for the families, the children who were hurt, and the pet, who is often taken to a shelter and eventually put down.
As a dog lover who has been attacked by a dog (as an adult), I believe I can see both sides of these situations more than the average person. While I would never advocate that a family keep an aggressive dog who has hurt their child, I also believe it’s irresponsible to not work with your dog to become family-friendly. Even dogs who have never shown aggression often still need help adjusting to being around kids. Babies and kids can be one big, scary mystery to dogs. Think about it. They make noises adults don’t make. They crawl at eye level with the dog. They don’t recognize a difference in the dog’s toys and their toys, and they have no concept of dog food v. anything else on the floor. They try to grab or pull the dog in a way that unintentionally causes pain. This can all add up to a bad situation that could often have been prevented.
I’ve known for a while that Blue Dog would need some work to adjust from being our number one baby to being a dog. She’s just fine with older kids and babies don’t phase her because she isn’t quite sure what they are, but as we discovered recently, toddlers scare the beejeejees out of her.
Over Memorial Day weekend, my sweet 9-month old niece, C., came to visit. Every time C. saw Blue Dog, she would squeal with delight, laugh hysterically, and crawl in a frantic attempt to get close to Blue Dog. Poor Blue Dog has never been around toddlers before, and she lived in a pretty constant state of panic for the three days that C. was here. She mostly tried to stay close to me, away from the baby, and with an escape route mapped out. Luckily, we had no major problems, but one time Blue Dog did make a little fake snap (didn’t actually open her mouth just kind of gave a warning move toward C.’s hand, which was reaching for Blue Dog). The weekend made me realize that we need to start preparing her now to be a family-friendly dog, rather than wait until we bring a baby home.
I’m a lawyer…so you know there has to be a disclaimer. :) Even if your dog is well-trained and has never shown aggression, you should always supervise your dog and a child’s interactions, both for the safety and protection of your dog and the LO. I’m not an animal behaviorist, and this is simply what has worked for us. You should seek the help of a professional if you have a specific issue that you need help addressing.
Here are some tips and advice I’ve gleaned about making your puppy kid-friendly.
1. Leave an escape route open for your dog. Don’t force your dog to be in close proximity to the new baby/toddler until they let you know they’re ready.
Initially, Blue Dog made it clear she considered the zone of danger around C. quite wide. If C. came close, she headed for the other room to hide. Even if I was holding Blue Dog and C. crawled over, my sweet puppy squirmed to leave. I always let her “escape” to another place where she could watch the happenings without feeling insecure. Dogs are still animals and if they feel cornered, they are more likely to lash out. If I noticed Blue Dog looking for an escape and not finding one, I moved C. or whatever was blocking escape.
2. Give your dog lots of love and attention so they don’t resent the baby.
Some of us blur the line between dog and child, and this certainly has applied in the Blue family. I used to make fun of people that referred to themselves as “mom” to their dog and dressed their four-legged friend in clothes. Then, Blue Dog came along, and wouldn’t you know it?!? I somehow morphed into “mommy” and even occasionally subjected Blue Dog to this kind of nonsense:
She was even a bee for Halloween once, but she was too humiliated to let me get a good picture. Smart dog.
Having been the Numero Uno baby in our house for the last three years, it would certainly be understandable for her to become jealous if all my love and attention were suddenly taken away and turned toward a child instead. While C. was here, I made sure to spend some time with Blue Dog, even if it was just picking her up and snuggling her for a bit. It helped to reassure her that she was not being replaced and that I still loved her, even though she was having to share my attention with C.
3. Teach them that babies/toddlers bring good things to their world.
The easiest, quickest way to win Blue Dog’s heart is food. Because I want her to associate babies and toddlers with the best things imaginable, I skipped over regular doggie treats and jumped right to cheese and bits of meat. I didn’t try anything the first day and a half because I could tell that Blue Dog’s comfort level would not allow her to be at all close to C. Eventually, however, Blue Dog started coming to sit just outside of C.’s arm reach while in my lap. Then, I started my devious plan! A little nibble of cheese or meat suddenly appeared every time Blue Dog came over to sit near us. It only took a few times before Blue Dog connected the dots and suddenly wanted to be VERY close to us. Bwahahaha . . . Phase 1 accomplished!
With Blue Dog’s new found interest in being near us, I started putting the treat a few steps closer to C. and me. Blue Dog happily stepped closer, though she would often step back out of reach to eat her yummy treat. That was just fine with me because I wanted her to learn that approaching C. would not be dangerous or scary. All the time, I made sure that C.’s arms were not able to make any sudden moves or reach out for Blue Dog. Finally, we worked up to my tapping C.’s knee and saying “Kisses!” Blue Dog would come sniff and lick C.’s knee. This was immediately rewarded with much praise (though I’m not sure Blue Dog recognized C.’s cries of joy as “praise”) and a treat. When C. unknowingly pulled Blue Dog’s leash out of her box, Blue Dog popped right over to her waiting expectantly to go on her much-loved walk through the neighborhood. Mission accomplished.
4. Teach them to associate uncomfortable touching with great rewards.
Unfortunately, C. was only at our house for a few days, so our training came to an abrupt halt. I started researching ways I could help prepare Blue Dog without having a toddler handy. The ASPCA has some great articles on preparing your dog for a new baby, introducing your dog to your new baby, helping your dog to adjust to toddlers, and a host of other training tools.
One of the things that the ASPCA suggests is teaching your dog to learn to associate uncomfortable touching with getting a reward. While I certainly will teach my children to touch pets with respect and gentleness, these are concepts that a toddler who is exploring their world by touch and mouth just isn’t going to be able to internalize right away. So, I want Blue Dog to know that when she tolerates a touch that may be a bit uncomfortable, I will notice and reward her for that.
Essentially, the ASPCA suggests teaching them this by gently poking your dog and then immediately giving them a treat. Continue doing this until you poke them gently and they immediately look up for a treat. They now associate the gentle poke with getting a treat. Next, poke them a little bit harder and give them another treat. Continue doing this until the dog looks up expectantly. You can continue doing this pattern with poking, pulling ears, pulling tails, etc., until your dog has learned that if they don’t react to an uncomfortable touch, that they will receive great praise and reward. Note, that this is not instructing you to be cruel or actually hurt your animal. It is only to get them used to uncomfortable touching. While I hate doing anything to even make Blue Dog feel uncomfortable, in the end, I think it is much more cruel to not train a dog to be family-friendly and then take them to a shelter when they react poorly to a child.
5. Other tricks.
There are so many things that you can teach your dog that will help them adjust to life as a family dog, but I wanted to include two more that we are working on now.
One trick we’re teaching Blue Dog is to pick a spot to be their “safe” spot and teach them “Go to your spot.” The spot should be somewhere that is safe and out of reach. For us, that’s the top of the couch because it’s one of Blue Dog’s favorite spots and one that will be too high for toddlers for quite some time. By teaching them to go to a spot that is out of reach of grasping little hands, you’re teaching them that it’s okay for them to retreat when they need to. This helps protect your dog and your child.
I also have started carrying a few treats in my pocket when we go for a walk, which Blue Dog frankly needs after all these training treats! Blue Dog, much to her dismay, is a kid magnet. Anytime, we see a kid, they always run over and want to pet her. Now, I just whip out a treat and let them feed her one because dogs tend to associate anyone giving them food as (1) a boss, and (2) someone that can be trusted.
I’m sure there will be more updates as we teach Blue Dog to be a super family dog, and I hope to hear what all of you dog “moms” are doing with your four-legged “babies.” There are so many good resources about helping your dog adjust to a new baby or even just to kids in general; a simple google search will yield a plethora of tips and advice. If you haven’t started working with your dog to be family-friendly, it’s never too early or too late!
Have you done anything to help your dog prepare or adjust to life with kids? What worked for you and what didn’t?
Preparing Pets for Babies part 4 of 9
1. Babies and Pets by Mrs. Bee2. Fur Babies and Real Babies by mrs. tictactoe
3. Doggie House Rules by Mrs. Sketchbook
4. Making Blue Dog Family-Friendly by Mrs. Blue
5. Preparing the Pup by Mrs. Hopscotch
6. Kids and Pets by Mrs. Chocolate
7. introducing baby to our pets by Mrs. Jump Rope
8. Introducing Dogs to Your Baby by Mrs. Sea Otter
9. Introducing Your Dogs to Your Baby by Mrs. Garland
nectarine / 2530 posts
Awesome post Mrs. Blue! I’d also like to add that when your dog has a spook-scare about something, you have about .2 seconds to turn it into a positive experience before they start forming negative associations in their heads ;). We do this in agility when a dog has a bad experience with a piece of equipment. WHEEEE praise treat treat treat what a good doggie let’s try that again! Treat treat treat!
Once when I was in a pet shop a (not so little boy) jumped right behind my Sheltie and yelled at the top of his lungs. My Sheltie nearly jumped out of her skin and whipped her head around as if to say, “Mom, What Was That??!!” Luckily I had treats in my pocket, so I was able to quickly throw some at her to distract. If the boy had been more able I would have asked him to hand her some, though she can be a bit grabby with food (something else to work on!)
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@StrawberryBee: Thanks! And great tip! I need to be better about having treats on me or right by me.
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
Fantastic post! This has been on my mind A LOT lately. It’s so much more helpful than the standard “bring a baby blanket home.” Thank you!
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
Thanks! I have really started to worry about our pup and hte future baby. She has always done fine with children/babies but my 8 month old niece was over last week and Finley was very jealous! She has never acted jealous before, it was so strange. So we need to get her adjusted quickly in the next 4 months!
pomelo / 5331 posts
Thank you so much for this post! Our dog is pretty great with kids, but it’s a whole different story when it’s OUR kid. I’m going to look at these ASPCA articles too so we can learn how to prepare. This post was a great idea
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
really awesome tips here that i wouldn’t have thought of!
honeydew / 7504 posts
Excellent post! Thanks for linking those articles!
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts
great post!
@StrawberryBee: I have a sheltie who’s a little grabby as well. I keep the treat in my hand and present my fingers first.
For a visual: make a circle with your hand as though you’re going to peer through the hole, like binoculars – I present my four fingers first, with the treat between those 4 fingers and my thumb.
He then has to “gentle!” and I keep my hand & the treat like that until he very, very carefully takes the treat from me. It took a bit, but I was very worried about him nipping baby fingers on someone who just wanted to share dinner from the highchair. He is now a nibbling pro!
guest
We had a loving chocolate lab that never showed any signs of aggression. However, close to our daughters 1st birthday something set our dog off and she bit our daughter in the head. Thankfully besides some small wounds our daughter was okay. I am thankful everyday because it could have been a lot worse. Dogs are unreliable and you just never know. I always would say it will never happen to us. Please as Blue said always supervise and be extra cautious.
nectarine / 2530 posts
@sorrycharlie: Thanks for the description, I’ll have to try that! I have the “take it nice/easy” command, but I’m bad about using it since usually treats are being flung about after a successful (or not so successful lol) agility run. We definitely need to work on that more.
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
Good stuff!! This was one of my biggest worries before Lil’ CB came home! I think you did a great job covering this very important topic!
apricot / 286 posts
what a great post! i’m not pregnant (yet), but I would definitely use your tips to acquaint my future baby with my current furbaby. My 2 year old niece absolutely adores Mocha and always wants to pet him, so I taught her to give him treats when he plays fetch with her and also taught her to pet him gently and say “good boy” (although she can only say “boy”..it’s too cute). i LOVE LOVE LOVE watching kids and dogs interact and can’t imagine raising a child without a dog, so it’s always been my plan to have both of them together. And I agree w you on the dog getting jealous thing.. Mocha always jumps on my lap when he sees me playing with my niece!
apricot / 286 posts
oh and just wanted to add that Blue Dog is adorable! I can see why she gets so much attention from the wee ones.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
Great tips! Baby S discovered our dog right around 4 months old and he just lights up when he sees him. Our dog could care less about his fur being pulled, thankfully, but I try to keep him out of the baby’s reach anyway.
guest
Very good information! Does anyone have any similar tips for cats? Not quite as potentially dangerous, but maybe harder to train…
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
Great post. I would also add if you don’t already have a dog but are thinking about it do your research on breeds. We have to dogs, that we had before we got married. One is a corgi and one is a beagle. They are both very true to their breed personality. The beagle is chill and let’s the kids lay all over him. The corgi is a little intense and uses he mouth a lot. Although she has never bit any oft kids she growls a lot and nudged with her nose and mouth.
So we have part of our house baby gated off so the dogs can go there and not be bothered and do that I have a place to put them when I am not around. The dogs do come out and have family time but always under my very close supervision. I am very well aware that all dogs even the nice ones will bite. So I am always very close when the dogs come out.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
Great post
grapefruit / 4056 posts
I would like to second that if you are thinking of getting a dog and plan to have kids, it is a great idea to do a ton of breed research to pick a more kid friendly breed. Also, if you get a puppy the time to get them baby ready is immediately upon bringing the puppy home. My Newfoundland dog is almost 6, and I got him long before planning on having a family, but I spent a lot of time kid-proofing him (doing the pokes/pulls etc) so he would be kid safe. He is a big boy (140 pounds) but he is really good and gentle with kids because we prepared far ahead of time.
guest
Great post!! When I was pregnant with my first child, Tina I used a book called Tell Your Dog You’re Pregnant: An essential guide for dog owners who are expecting a baby. It was really helpful and came with a CD of sounds. Harry (my fur child!) took some time to get used to the sounds but the book helped on how to do it. I think the website is http://www.babyandpet.com. Maybe that will help someone else!