All I ever wanted to be was a mother. I chose to become a teacher because I loved it, but also because I knew it would give me a lot of time off to spend with my future children. With the timing of my pregnancy, my maternity leave ran right into summer break, so I won't have to go back to work until the new school year begins in August when baby TTT will be four and a half months old. I know I'm very lucky and some moms go back to work when their babies are only six weeks old, but I still want more.
My dream job is to be a SAHM. Financially, it's not possible for that to happen right now, but if it were, I would happily - no ecstatically - quit my job to be a full-time mom. I really love teaching, especially at my new school, but I love being a mom more and I want to be the one home raising my son.
One common complaint I've heard from women who leave their careers to be SAHM's is that they feel like they don't have anything to talk about at cocktail parties. When asked what they do, they say, "I'm just a mom" and this makes them sad. But I can only dream that I'd be so lucky as to be "just a mom." Also, who goes to cocktail parties? Not I.
I know, I know... the grass is always greener. I should be thankful for what I have: a job without long hours that gives me lots of paid vacation time so I can be home with my children more and also contribute to the family income. I am very thankful, but I'm also not excited to be a working mom. I'm not looking forward to hiring a nanny and leaving our precious baby in someone else's care five days a week. I'm not looking forward to dreading Mondays again - now, I look forward to each and every single day I spend with baby TTT.
I know being a SAHM is hard work. Being around only kids/babies all day can be taxing. But teaching high school all day and coming home to a baby in the late afternoon is also quite difficult. Leaving a crying (or even smiling) baby in the morning is heart wrenching. Missing all those precious hours with him is devastating.
Out of desperation, I've looked into trying to find some way I can stay home and still bring in money, but so far, no luck. Plus, my benefits are pretty hard to walk away from. For now, I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I'll have to be a working mom, and I'll do everything I can to be the best one I can be.
Is being a SAHM a dream job for anyone else out there too?