Hellobee

It’s not just you! I really had my heart set on having a boy, and like you was scared the doctor would say “girl”. But, we are having a boy. Not that I wouldn’t love a little girl any less, I just really wanted a boy! I’m glad that you shared this, because I felt like a bad mom at first for how much I wanted one gender over the other.

You’re not the only one! I think most people do have a preference, and admitting it only makes you an honest person, not a bad one. One of the first things I blogged about on here was getting over gender disappointment. I also think I’d probably like to stop at two … but then think about how MAYBE I would go up to three if we still don’t have a girl. Of course, then I might have three boys, yikes!

http://www.hellobee.com/2011/12/15/getting-over-the-little-boy-blues/

I know exactly what you mean!! I once told my DH that if we have 2 boys, I will be very, very sad (at least for a little while).

Then I asked how he would feel about having 2 girls… he said he wouldn’t mind at all (making me look bad, sheesh! haha)

I desperately want to have a baby boy. Well now I just desperately want to have a baby. But every time I picture my baby it is a boy.

My husband and I both really wanted a girl as did most of my family. I had a feeling the whole time it was a boy and it was. I was definitely a bit disappointed knowing I wouldn’t get to buy all the cute clothes and have someone to do girly things with. But now that my son is here, I’m starting to lean more towards hoping the next one is another boy. I’m not sure why- I just think I’m supposed to be a “boy” mommy. I also think because I grew up with a sister that I think it would be nice for my son to have a brother. I’ll be happy with whatever the next one is but I don’t think I’ll feel crushed at all if it’s not a girl.

I really want a girl, too! And I only get one shot at it because I have two stepchildren, so three’s our limit.

Once we went out to eat dinner at a small restaurant, and the woman at the front looked at my stepchildren, looked at me and said, “how perfect, one boy and one girl!” I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I had nothing to do with it ;).

i really wanted a girl too!! if my first one wasn’t a girl, i would’ve been like you and prayed on shooting stars for my 2nd to be a girl. but turns out i did get a girl the first time around… so with a second, i would truly have no preference for gender!

Nice to read this. Going in to my 20 week ultrasound, i kept saying I didnt care biy or girl but once they announced girl, the flood gates opened and i was over the moon excited thinking about all the great things I did with my mom and how I could now do it with my lo.
Honestly not sure how i would have reacted if i found out i was having a boy. Would i have been as excited but thinking about different things or indifference as long as s/he was healthy.
Great write up

It’s funny, we have one boy and I felt like I should want a little girl, but honestly, I was really happy to have another little boy. If we decide to have a third, I would really be happy with either. At this point, I’m afraid I wouldn’t know how to raise a little girl. =)

Oh yeah. I went into our ultrasound KNOWING we were having a boy because I wanted a girl so badly. Thankfully, we got our girl. I would have loved a boy unconditionally but I would have been crushed never to have had a little girl (we’re only having one).

We both really want 2 girls I am only 7 weeks now, but I think that it is a boy. I told my husband that I think that cause I am just mentally getting myself ready for it. While we both just want a healthy and happy baby, I won’t lie I am going to be bummed at first if it is boy. I just don’t know what to do with them. I just have always pictured myself with little girls. Plus, we both have 2 nephews, so both sets of grandparents need a girl grandchild!

i was expecting a girl just because of how our families are (i’m the oldest and DH has an older sister). when i really thought about the fact that i could be having a boy (obviously!) i was a little sad, but then thought about how fun that would be too! we recently found out that we’re having a girl first and i’m so excited, but i was looking at little boy stuff recently and i know that both DH and i want a boy at some point too! we want three, so hopefully we won’t have to wait until the last one for that!

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!

I kind of had my heart set on a little boy, and until my 16 week u/s, was totally convinced that butterbean was a boy . . . she sure showed me! After a few brief moments of shock, I was instantly in love with the idea of having a girl. :)

It is tough to say this kind of thing out loud because there are so many people who are struggling to start their families and would do anything in the world to get a baby, regardless of the gender. I always try to be sensitive to that.

That being said, we both desperately, desperately wanted and always planned for a boy. But, our baby on the way is definitely a girl. We’ve had three ultrasounds where we could clearly see her parts and there is no denying it.

We were both bummed at first (which is sad to even admit) but now that we’ve had a few months with the news, we are over the moon excited about our little girl on the way. No issues at all.

DH and I were pretty much positive LO was a girl. We were so certain that our gender reveal party, DH asked me not to make a scene if it was actually a boy! Of course I am beyond blessed either way, but luckily she is a girl!

@highwire: I completely agree with you when you say that it’s a touchy subject, but the post was about our situation and the fact that we already had a son and got pregnant the second time around. When it comes down to it, sex is not important when you compare it to fertility and we were blessed not to have issues with that. I would of been happy regardless, but a little bum is the truth. So yay that it worked out :)

Nope. If I ever did have children, I always knew my preference would be for a girl. Now that I have my own little miss waiting for me back in her hospital room, I’m pretty sure the factory is forever closed.

I really wanted a girl at some point, but I was so sure that if we had a boy first we would have all boys, it was just my gut feeling. I walked into the anatomy scan knowing it was a boy and I had come to terms with it, so much to my surprise the tech said “GIRL” I asked “are you sure?” about t5 times and had the biggest smile on my face.

However now, I have the desire to have a boy just about as strongly as I did about having a girl the first time (crazy to feel this way since I’m still pregnant!.) I really want to experience one of each, and we are also a family of 4 (as of now.) So the next round will be it for us.

@Mrs. Yoyo: Ya! that’s exactly my thing. If I had a boy the second time around, I’d probably want to try, but then the possibility of having 3 boys would of killed me. My father had 4 girls, so clearly he kept on trying with no success! ;)

You’re so lucky you got one of each! My grandmother really wanted a girl and she ended up having FIVE boys before she finally had a girl! Then she thought her luck had changed and has TWO MORE boys before calling it quits!!!

I think I would be sad if I ended up with 2 boys but not 2 girls! As you say, I definitely want to do girly things and I always think about planning her wedding, LOL.

@Andrea: same! but imagine your SO? Not having a boy for the dad? Isn’t that the same then not having a girl for the mom?

@Mrs. Sunglasses: not that he has expressed! He doesn’t seem to want boys as much as I want girls. *shrug*

I was also really hoping our little one would be a girl… my husband tried to convince me it would be a boy so I wouldn’t be disappointed, but the ultrasound said we’re expecting a girl so I’m beyond excited! I have had 2 minor panic attacks where I think “what if they were wrong, and we’re having a boy!?”…

For our next baby, I don’t think I have any preference. It would be nice to have a once of each, and it would also be nice to have a pair of girls.

I cried when we found out our second was going to be a boy. My husband was like “are you okay?” I just blamed it on the hormones; but I was actually quite sad that I wasn’t have a girl. I’m totally happy with two boys now but at the time I was pretty sad. I really wanted a girl. Everyone thought we were having a girl. Now we have two boys and I wouldn’t have wanted it any different. I love them both so so much. I’ll just get my girl fix with my friends’ girls! :D

@Mrs. Sunglasses: Of course! I definitely didn’t mean for my post to sound like you were being insensitive. I thought it was beautifully written :)

@erwoo: I think I would of been the same if I had been in the situation as you. Honestly, I LOVE having a boy so having two would of been fine, I would of had to grieve a little though ;)

@highwire: Oh I didn’t think you were saying I was insensitive, on the contrary… I was just saying your comment was a valid one ;)

@Mrs. Sunglasses: Yep. I grieved a little bit in the ultrasound room!

“Just the thought of not having a girl made me sad. I wanted to play dolls with her, teach her how to put on makeup and even go prom/wedding dress shopping with her. Luckily, I was blessed with a baby girl, and I didn’t have to deal with all those questions.”

Oh dear – I hope you don’t really mean that! What if your daughter never wears makeup, doesn’t want to go to prom, or doesn’t get married or want to have a conventional wedding? What’s if she’s not into the girly stuff at all? I just think it’s a lot of expectations to saddle a tiny baby girl with; she could end up feeling like she disappointed you if she doesn’t turn out to enjoy the things you want her to. I’m definitely not saying there’s anything wrong with having a gender preference, though, I know I’d want a girl more just because I feel like I’d be more easily able to relate to her, regardless of how her personality and interests develop as she grows up.

@PawPrints: Oh don’t worry, I say that with the littlest of expectations… I know my daughter could be a total tomboy, or even gay and I would be perfectly okay with that. I think I just wanted to “buy dresses, and decorate in pink” (for now!) seeing she can’t really verbalize her likes and dislikes. :)

Little girls are so, so special. :) I’m glad you got to experience how awesome it is to have a daughter!

(As a disclaimer, now that I have one of each, I say this about both sexes. Both are amazing in completely different ways, and it is so cool to get to experience both of them!)

@Mrs. Sunglasses: Haha, awesome :)

@Honeybee: I actually was surprised HOW MUCH I love having a boy. Especially since I was always aiming girl during my first pregnancy. I’m so glad I can experience both. :) Aw, and seeing Mavrick with his sister melts my heart everyday!

I knew before I got pregnant that my first would be a boy. And he was. I was hoping for a girl the second time and tried timing it to make it work. By the time I got pregnant, I had strong feelings it was a girl. It was actually no surprise at all at the 20 week ultrasound that it was a girl. But I was so happy to know for sure. Having my boy is amazing, but it’s true that there is something very special about my relationship with my little girl! It’s different!

I was also slightly embarrassed to admit that I really really really wanted a little girl…like so many others, I am close to my mom and really could not imagine my life without that mother-daughter relationship.

My husband didn’t have a strong preference but was really hoping for our first to be a girl so that we could get it out of the way and avoid me being obsessed with the gender for #2. So we were overjoyed when we found out LO was a girl and she is everything I ever could have wished for and more.

Most of the older generation of Asians (my side of the family) prefers boys so many of my relatives assumed I was sad to be having a girl especially bc most of my friends all have little boys…nope, I am so happy with my little girl :)

I wanted baby 2 to be a girl, but I have a daughter already, so I’m not heartbroken!
I really did want 2 daughters though..

I am afraid of how this will play out for us as well, I really want one of each, but I will be so sad not to get a girl whereas if I never got a boy I would be a little bummed but not heartbroken. I think we are going to stop at two, there are days where I think maybe 3 and days where I think maybe just one, so we will see. My inlaws had three boys in an attempt for a girl and mil (very kindly) put in her request for a granddaughter.

We’re team green for one more week-ish (I’m 39 weeks tomorrow). I’ve said all along that I really don’t care whether we have a boy or a girl. One of the reasons I wanted us to be Team Green is because I know DH would probably prefer a boy. His mom had 3 boys, always trying for a girl – but it never happened for her. While I’ve said all along that I don’t care what we’re having – I’ve been told throughout the ENTIRE pregnancy that we’re having a boy. Anyone who ever comes up to me tells me that it’s a boy. I guess that has, in some ways, made me really hope for a girl. I also would love to have a relationship with a little girl like I had with my mom, and I would LOVE to see my DH raise a little girl (as my dad has never been in my life).
We’ll see – and I’m really trying to not get my mind set either way.

I didnt have a pref since this is our first… tho if I was leaning, I was leaning towards a boy.

Now that we know, I think I’ll feel the same way as you for our second. (Even though we plan to have 3)…. I’d LOVE to have one of each with the first two.

We were team green because I couldn’t bear to know if LO was a boy or girl. All the wives tales said girl and right up until the end I thought he’d be a girl. When I went into labor I suddenly thought it was a boy. I wasn’t surprised when DH said “it’s a boy” in the delivery room and was overwhelmed with love. However, a few days later I had an absolute meltdown that I wouldn’t get to do girl things with my baby. A couple months later I started to cry at baby gap when I walked in and saw the cutest displays of girl clothes. Even now I get really sad thinking of it. We lost four babies on our way to having baby S and I’m convinced the first was a girl. I don’t know if I’m more sad that I don’t have all the babies or that my one baby isn’t the girl I wanted. We’re pretty sure we’re a one baby family at this point.

I wanted a girl so bad, after having 2 boys. I even told my husband that I would be depressed if it was another boy. I didn’t want to find out what the baby was going to be until I gave birth. I had dreams that the baby was a girl, but everyone around me told me it looked like I was carrying a boy again especially since boys run in the family. Then I started feeling guilty that I wanted a girl, so tried to convince myself that all I really wanted was a healthy baby. Everyone was shocked that I ended up giving birth to a baby girl.

I wanted a boy, I never had fantasies about raising a daughter and all the trappings that come with it. I like being the only girl in our household.

You’re not the only one to prefer one gender over another, but in the end, it all works out. I was leaning towards a boy the second time around, but now that I have my two girls, I couldn’t be happier and I can’t imagine what it would be like if the second was a boy.

I had the same issues, but the other way around. I had a son first and I wanted another boy. I always wanted two siblings of the same sex beause I feel that they are a lot closer than siblings of the opposite gender. I guess alot has to do with the fact that you go through similar things. When I found out I was having a girl the second time around, I was actually sad. But now that she’s in my life, I can’t imagine life without her.

We were team green with our first and made the decision to not discuss our thoughts on the baby’s gender with anyone. It was interesting though that after delivery and the realization that we had a daughter settled in both DH and I admitted we thought she was going to be a boy (as did apparently all my co-workers and several family members).

This pregnancy (currently 33w) we are also team green but have been a little more open with our thoughts on baby’s gender; I think it is a girl and DH things boy (so one of us will be correct). DH hopes it is a boy because he is looking forward to teaching him to do outdoorsy things (hunting, fishing, camping, etc); not that he can’t do those things with a daughter but he just sees a boy as being more likely to want to do them (my rule is the can’t “push” these activities on any of our children but if they express interest he can encourage the pursuit) I think it is a girl because I know how to care for one and sharing a room would be easier long-term. Regardless of this baby’s gender we will love him or her unconditionally and raise him or her to be a strong individual.

I do find it interesting that mothers are the ones who usually have a strong gender preference when it is the father’s role in determining gender. I keep that at the back of my mind when DH comments about potentially having a third if we don’t have a boy this time; since it would be his fault we didn’t have a boy :)

When I was first pregnant with Lala, I strongly wanted a girl. However, I had at least 2 dreams about her being a curly haired boy. I would have been disappointed if that were to be true until we had a fetal health scare. After that reality check, I didn’t care if we had boys or girls. I was just hoping for healthy!

We were team green-ish with M. and we knew we would be fine either way.

We are only planning to have one, so this is it and it’s a boy. I have ALWAYS wanted and envisioned a girl (2 actually – just like my family). I’m not “sad” because I love seeing how excited DH is about a boy and my sister just had a boy so the cousins will be very close in age. But I’ve had to slowly say goodbye to my visions of girl events later in life. I doubt my boy will like all of the books I’ve saved like “Little House on the Prairie” or “Gone with the Wind.” I also feel lie I don’t know a lot about boys. SO I’ve had to change my expectations a bit, but it doesn’t stop me from being super excited to meet my little boy!