I don’t generally post up anything circulating around the web – blogs about parenting, the latest things to avoid, the current politics on breastfeeding or whatnot. This doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions – I do, and on some things, very strong ones. But I try to stay away from posting too much rhetoric on things that will inevitably change with time, or that we will probably not care to remember. Recently, though, I came across an article that really hit home, and more than anything, I want to remember this so Emmett will hopefully one day grow up with memories of his parents interacting and teaching him, and not buried in our technologies.
I’m definitely not ready to let go of my precious iPhone 4s, but to some extent, do desire freedom from being constantly connected and to be distraction-free. I find myself checking Facebook, email, Instagram, and websites I follow repeatedly during Emmett’s playtimes, often leaving him to himself when I get lost in the haze of social networking. And in an age where we sometimes never learn the name of our neighbors but know the daily haps of friends thousands of miles away, “keeping up with the Joneses” takes a whole other dimension of pressure.
Hands Free Mama is a blog written by a lady who wants “the noise of her life to be a mixture of laughter and gratitude, not the intrusive buzz of cell phones and text messages.”
I haven’t read all the articles on the Hands Free Mama blog, but she wrote a post on “How to Miss a Childhood” that inspired me. So, here’s my new commitment – to leave my phone in the bedroom. To seek quality of life with 3-D people and events and not through a screen. To be fully engaged when I’m with my son and husband while not sneaking peeks at my News Feed. Because grabbing my phone and doing this-and-that has really become a force of habit and something I do almost compulsively.
Haha. I’m probably going to update the blog in a couple months talking about how I failed miserably, but who knows? We’ll never know if I don’try.
Would you give hands free a try?
clementine / 885 posts
I haven’t read the article, but I know that when we turn the TV off, put away cell phones and laptops, we enjoy our evenings more, get more things done, and feel happier and more content at the end of the evening. I try to limit my phone time at home to when I need to check something, taking pictures, and 5 or 10 minutes when I go into the other room. At least while DS is awake. It’s a hard habit to break, but ultimately there is not much of value on my phone, end everything that means something to me is standing, playing, or tantruming a few feet away. It’s a work in progress at our house, and some days we fail miserably, but we are getting better.
GOLD / cantaloupe / 5328 posts
I am very strict about this…when I am with my son, my phone is in another room and I am fully involved with him. Of course there are days when I need a break, but it’s more important that I spend these moments with him rather than answering that phone call or text. Everything else can wait, as far as I am concerned.
GOLD / pomegranate / 3536 posts
Such a great blog post! Thanks for this! I think this is even important in marriage along with parenting!
clementine / 879 posts
I try to let my phone go to voicemail and not immediately check text messages. To the point where DH gets frustrated about not being able to reach me. I figure technology is making my life more stressful, not easier. So, it’s time to get some tech-free time in my day.
blogger / cherry / 182 posts
I love the idea of putting technology aside to fully engage with our babies! I try to find “play date” with him and I – time when I just watch and talk to him while he explores the world, or I read to him while he crawls around or we go on walks and I talk to him about the trees and plants we’re walking past.
I do admit there are times when I just *need* the support of another adult – when he’s grumpy and fussy and there’s nothing that I can seem to do to make him feel better.
GOLD / grapefruit / 4438 posts
I’ve started leaving my phone up out of reach during certain parts of the day. 1) Because my toddler wants to play with it if it’s in sight and 2) so I can give my concentration to the task at hand. It’s definitely improved the quality of play time, I think, which is really nice. :)
GOLD / pomegranate / 3209 posts
Great blog post! I definitely want to work on being more present when I’m with LO.
guest
What a challenge. And I agree with MrsBrewer re: this could be something for marriage, too. The other day while we were in the car, JE turned and said to me, “Honey, can you please put your phone down and talk to me?”
He was right! And I thanked him for that one.
But little kiddos can’t really turn to us and say that … yet. :]
apricot / 285 posts
good post! I actually deleted Facebook from my phone when I upgraded a few months ago. It’s been great so far and I haven’t looked back (though I still log on at work from my desktop, but I am not obsessively checking it on my phone when I’m out and about).
DH and I also made a ‘no iPhone’ rule in bed. Many nights we find ourselves, back against back, using our phones and not even speaking to each other. We realized that is quality time for us and we’re wasting it away on our phones. Ever since that rule, we spend a lot more time just talking and cuddling.
I also made DH to commit to using only hands-free and absolutely no texting in the car.
pea / 19 posts
Before I found out I was pregnant my husband and I designated Tuesday nights as date night. We would stay home, I would make a nice dinner and we would eat in the dining room instead of the living room in front of the tv. It was a tech free night where we would leave our phones in another room and the tv stayed off. It was so nice to reconnect and not be so distracted. We have gotten away from that recently, but it is definitely something I want to reinstate, especially when the baby comes.
persimmon / 1250 posts
I’m pretty good about this in that I don’t don’t check email, FB, watch TV, or surf the web when I’m with LO. That is, unless I specifically need to check something.
GOLD / persimmon / 1146 posts
This is great. I don’t have kids yet, but like PPs have stated, I’m trying to get better at not using any technology when it’s just my husband and I. We have a much better time when we aren’t zombie-ing out in front of the TV or ignoring one another to play on the computer/iPod. His parents told us they’re giving us each an iPad for Christmas, so I’m sure it will be especially challenging afar that!
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6066 posts
Great post, DH and I implemented a “no media for 3 hours” when we get home from work. We caught ourselves not talking because he was playigng games on his phone and I was on the iPad. It was a little scary to think we were so content with our media that we weren’t talking anymore, it has been a wonderful change! .
olive / 68 posts
Great reminder! Keep the phone out of reach!
blogger / olive / 85 posts
@mrstilly: i’m there with you. some days are a complete fail, but other days see much improvement!
blogger / olive / 85 posts
@MrsBrewer: thank you! and yes, papa m and I frequently talk about how relevant this is to our relationship as well!
blogger / olive / 85 posts
@cokiezombie: I haven’t done the no phone in bed rule yet! haha, that would be so hard for me, but it sounds like a great idea.
blogger / olive / 85 posts
@DigAPony: wowza – I’m trying to convince my hub that we need an iPad ;)…but yes, two iPads would mean extra effort towards being distraction free!