Comments on: The Whens, Whys and Hows of Our Sleep Training Process

By: Christy

Christy — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 03:35:31 +0000

Oh gosh, this post brought me back to a few months ago when we sleep trained our now ten month old daughter. She had been a wonderful sleeper and started sleeping through the night (6pm – 6am) at about 12 weeks. We thought we were the luckiest parents alive to avoid all that sleep training nonsense. Not so fast. At about 7 months she started waking up once every night and refusing to go back to sleep. It got pretty rough. We did a pretty strict version of Weissbluth’s extinction method. The reason we chose this over Ferber was trial and error…every time I tried to check on her she would scream louder and longer. Those nights of hearing her cry were my worst moments of being a mom. I hated every second of it. In fact, I have even put off having another baby because I don’t want to go through that again! BUT we have our wonderful sleeper back and it only took about a week. I know that this really was the best thing we could do for her. She is an incredibly happy, well rested, healthy baby. I attribute much of her sunny disposition to the amount of sleep she gets. One other point that I think is important to make: I feel like I am such a better mom now that I have my nights back. I can function so much better and I actually feel like a person again! A few tears (mine and hers!) for a short period of time is worth it in the long run.

By: bienlivingdesign

bienlivingdesign — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 23:57:43 +0000

p.s. my daughter is 4 months

By: bienlivingdesign

bienlivingdesign — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 23:57:11 +0000

We are starting sleep training TOMORROW NIGHT, so this post & series are quite timely :)

Couple of questions, if you don’t mind!

When did you ditch the swaddle?
Does he still use a pacifier? (I’m trying to decide if I should ditch the paci all at the same time – you know, rip the band-aid)

When he wakes now, does he just fuss and put himself back to sleep, or do you have to go to him?

Thanks so much!!

By: Mrs. Pen

Mrs. Pen — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 05:37:10 +0000

@Mrs. Scooter: oh my goodness, I totally teared up. That was the sweetest comment ever. Thank you so much!

@cecilia: that’s when I knew things needed to change as well; my son’s sleep was affecting his happiness and he was so cranky. After sleep training he was SO happy again and so much fun.

@Sammyfab: agreed!! I relish that he is able to do it now.

@birdofafeather: Even after going through it already , I will still be scared for sleep with subsequent children! Every baby is SO different and it really is so important for a parent to be in tune to their child’s individual and unique needs – not an easy task!

@erin: I totally agree!! I sometimes wish we could have kept cosleeping – I miss it! But none of us were sleeping well enough to continue.

By: Mrs. Scooter

Mrs. Scooter — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 05:07:19 +0000

mrs. pen this was a very thoughtful, thorough, and loving post. the thing that comes out the most is that you love your boy so much that you’re doing what’s best for him (and in turn you and Mr.). thanks for this post for all of those mamas who are struggling with sleep issues. i was just talking with some of my best girlfriends about your post and we all were really impressed

By: kml636

kml636 — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:58:18 +0000

Thank you for your honest post on this! It’s so hard to know what the right choice is for your child sometimes.

By: Freckles

Freckles — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:29:48 +0000

We sleep trained around the 10-12 week mark by starting healthy sleep habits. We then allowed her to cry, but would stay in the room and pat her instead of picking her up right away. Even though we rocked her, i was fine with it since it only took 1 minute for her to fall asleep. Finally at 4.5 and 5.5 months did we use Ferber’s modified CIO approach. I believe sticking with it for a few days is key. It is great you stuck it out for over a week!

I get really annoyed when people associate sleep training with CIO as it entails more than just “letting them cry.” Teaching them how to fall asleep on their own and self-soothe is so important.

It is funny how as parents we project what we think our baby is feeling…my heart always broke because she would give me these faces of “how could you do this to me??”

By: Cecilia

Cecilia — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:03:58 +0000

“As he saw Cobi’s sleep and overall happiness improving, he slowly started to change his mind and at the end of the two weeks he was a believer. I know that he agrees that sleep-training isn’t for everyone, but he agrees it was the right thing to do in our situation.”

My feeling exactly. We sleep-trained in a very similar way and it has done wonders for our family. OUR family. It was a hard decision and a difficult process. Everyone is different and it’s what worked for us. That said. I knew we made the right decision (for us) when my baby was sleeping so much better and night and naps and became a MUCH MUCH happier baby all around. (And we became much happier, well-rested parents too. Bonus!)
Glad you found what was right for your family!

By: Sammyfab

Sammyfab — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 14:59:35 +0000

I think that learning how to fall asleep independently is such an important skill for a baby to have (after the 4th trimester of course!). The fact that this is called ‘sleep training’ and is commonly associated with CIO gives it such a bad rap (even though they’re not synonymous!).

Hopefully your post provides some insight for the more AP-type mamas :).

By: Orvis18

Orvis18 — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 14:46:05 +0000

We are just starting to think about sleep training as we are experiencing almost exactly what you wrote about. LO hasn’t slept a 5 hour stretch since 3.5 months and he’ll be 5 months on the 8th. He wakes up anywhere from 2-5 times per night at this point. We know we need to move him to his own room before we try anything and I also want to wait until 5.5. months but we are frazzled. I think he’s going to be like your LO and need the extinction method and I am dreading it…