“Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers ‘grow, grow’”
-The Talmud
I was in a yoga class Sunday when the teacher (who also happens to be part of the Village) cited this proverb. It really resonated with me.
Baby O has been sick. I don’t think it’s the flu, but she’s pretty darn sick. She started to come down with a cold on Christmas Eve day. By that evening, she was whiny and a little clingy. My parents and nephew came over for dinner and to spend the night so we could have Christmas morning together. No doubt the “routine” of the house was a little off, so when we went to put her down that night it didn’t surprise me that she struggled. This is not typical for Baby O. She’s normally a go-down-without-a-hitch baby. But seeing that it was Christmas Eve, I didn’t hesitate to bring her into bed with Missus Scooter and me. We don’t co-sleep. In fact, we never had. But it seemed like a treat and the baby slept hard. It was nice.
Baby O and Missus Scooter crashed out
We woke up on Christmas Day and she definitely had a cold. It was the kind that brought copious amounts of snot. Like more snot than I’d ever seen. But aside from the snot situation, overall Baby O did not seem to be feeling poor. Her demeanor was good and her activity level was fine. But the cold hung around and just wouldn’t go away. Since we traveled to Missus Scooter’s for the holiday, we co-slept there too. That was less than ideal since we were all crammed in a queen bed. Then about 2 weeks later, she got another cold before the first had cleared up.
This cold is a doozy. Fever, achy, snot. I can tell she is uncomfortable and in pain. She developed a cough that makes her cry after every bout. She is very clingy and inconsolable. My sensitive skinned baby sprouted a horrible diaper rash and very angry blotchy cheeks. She refuses the nosefrida so we were doing a lot of wiping, making her nose a little raw. Her sleeping has tanked. She wants to sleep so badly, but can only stay down 45 minutes or less for naps because she can’t breathe and the coughing wakes her. She is uncomfortable and seems sad. At night she is in our bed, waking every hour to two hours. I guess what I’m trying to say is she is a mess.
you can see how red and irritated her face is
And in this, I’ve had my hardest moments as a <new> mom. Baby O is approaching the 9 month mark and I can objectively say we’ve had it easy so far. She’s a happy girl, sleeps like a champ, responds well to a schedule, is very easy going and overall is a total joy. To have this turned upside down overnight and to last for so long has been very trying. I am powerless to make my daughter feel better, I am powerless to communicate with her to let her know it will pass. I can’t fix this. Further, I am exhausted. I feel guilty even writing that (like I have no right), but it’s true. We haven’t been sleep deprived since Baby O has been born. And now… oh.
So when my teacher spoke this proverb, I realized the reason why it touched me was because through this trying period, I am growing. I like to picture my own angel bending over me whispering, ‘grow, grow.’ Maybe that angel is Baby O. So grow I will. Some things came to the forefront that I knew about myself already, and some things that I didn’t know. I do not do well with powerless. I do not do well with impatient. I do not do well with lack of sleep. But I’ve chosen to grow and embrace these things and look at them as a opportunity. I have realized I am incredibly nurturing and can spend an insane amount of time just holding my baby through her lowest moments. I have realized that it is not a failure to not be able to fix it and that there is value in just holding the space for her. I have realized I can actually sleep in one hour increments and still be compassionate. I also discovered I am more open to feedback than I have ever been. From the time I got pregnant, helpful people have wanted to give advice and input. My receptivity to this has never been very high, but when my baby was sick, I found myself polling everyone I knew for guidance! I would take any tidbit that might help me help Baby O.
Do you think we’re overdoing it with the supplements? I think not!
For all of you moms who have been through this before, I am sure I sound a bit naïve, this being my first encounter with a sick child. And for all you moms/moms-to-be who haven’t been through this before, I am sure you can’t quite relate, because I know I couldn’t until I went through it. But what I do know is we all have the opportunity in these moments to grow and we all have this in common. Put this way, I feel less like a blade of grass and more like part of a very big meadow, surrounded by so many beautiful blades of grass. Did I take the analogy too far?
I don’t know when this will pass but I know it will.
Do you remember the first time your baby was sick and how did you deal with it? How did you grow?
hostess / papaya / 12072 posts
Ugh. I have a daycare baby. She got sick one week to the day after starting daycare. She has pretty much been sick since (she’s 7 months now). It’s awful. The first time she had a cough, we took her to urgent care, I was paranoid mama. I feel so bad for your little squirt. Her nose looks so painful!! I just keep thinking, this too shall pass. Colds will be so much easier when they are older and can understand it will get better!
guest
Bless it! I know exactly how hard it is to have a first sick child. My 3m old was actually diagnosed yesterday with Bronchiolitis (RSV) that she undoubtedly picked up within her first week of daycare and my.heart.is.broken. I thought she just had a cold with a cough, but a week and a half in, it has slowly progressed into more troubled breathing (mainly while sleeping) and a slight wheeze. Our cool mist humidifier, Nosefrida, Vicks vapor-rub plug in and warm apple juice (to curb the cough) were no longer enough- although they have really helped. She was coughing nonstop in her sleep, which lead to weak naps. The congestion and drainage left her with an upset tummy and minimal appetite. But, we never had a fever and she has been an overall happy baby to be so sick. So, as of yesterday when she had a coughing fit and I had had enough of witnessing it, we went to the doctor and are now using an inhaler breathing treatment every 4 hours to break up the mucus stuck in her chest.
I hope your LO gets to feeling better! I have quickly learned the hard way not to wait until she has a fever to go to the doc (because that is what we have always been told). RSV is viral and antibiotics won’t help. It only occurs in children under 2 years of age and it pretty common from Fall until Spring. But for any baby’s cold, all the things I listed above are indeed lifesavers!
blogger / papaya / 12371 posts
It is the worst! Cobi was sick on Thanksgiving for a week. He had a fever and was miserable. I literally had him tied to me the entire day, and as long as I held him, he was mostly content. He, like Baby O, had such a hard time sleeping and settling down. And sadly, he doesn’t co-sleep :( I really wanted to take him into our bed and anytime I tried he wouldn’t go down.
We found out he had roseola, it lasted just over a week and was one of the hardest weeks of my parenting-career! Good luck and I hope Baby O gets better soon!
blogger / honeydew / 8787 posts
So sad :( it’s heartbreaking to see such a helpless little baby (your OWN baby! ugh!) suffering so much and not able to do anything about it. When we were going through the first months of daycare diseases we would basically just camp out on the couch or bed in front of the TV, fluids and meds close at hand, and just catnap all day and night together. One tiny comfort in all of it is that with every sickness, your LO’s immune system is getting tougher. We had bad diaper rashes as well (sensitive skin here too) and with every broken skin rash :( :( :( the butt skin gets tougher. It’s heartbreaking but a rite of passage for every kid and their parents. Good luck :( she is so so so so CUTE.
hostess / grapefruit / 4773 posts
Like @mediagirl, I have a daycare baby and it breaks my heart to see her sick all the time. One thing I will say is that W changed right around the 9 month mark and became this clingy, whiny baby that didn’t sleep well at all. I contributed it to her being sick, but she had never been like that before (and she was sick A LOT since she went to daycare). But when she hit 10 months, she was a whole different baby. She started smiling, laughing and “talking” more than I had ever seen, regardless of if she’s sick or not. So, maybe (hopefully) it’s the same change your LO is going through.
I hope she feels better soon!
GOLD / pomegranate / 3945 posts
Big hugs to your family, it is rough to have a sick baby! We are just finishing up our third “Baby-Man Cold.” He is so pathetic, it breaks my heart! Adding to the stress, I’ve caught it too.
Each one has had new symptoms to add to the stress. The first was just a fever, the next was a fever and runny nose, and this last one added a cough to the mix. We have learned to manage each one as they come along. I definitely agree that we grow as we go through these experiences!
The Baby Connect App has been so helpful for me to keep track of temperatures and doses of Ibuprofen.
olive / 82 posts
This sounds JUST like what PB has finally kicked. He started getting pretty miserable the weekend of two extended family Christmas get-togethers (December 29 and 30) and he’s just now finally about 95% cleared up. The worst of it lasted about 4 days: rashy, low-grade fevers, congestion, and that nasty cough. He was SO tired because the coughing kept waking him up all night and he’s usually such a sleeping champ.
All that is to say, I feel you. We basically went 14 months without much more than the occasional little sniffle, so to get walloped for almost 3 full weeks like this was rough.
A silver lining to look forward to, when things DO clear up, somehow everything seems even better than it did before. Every time PB laughed at me this morning I kind of thought my heart would explode… so happy my cheerful little guy is feeling better. You’ll get there soon!
GOLD / honeydew / 7633 posts
Add some Boogie Wipes! They are so nice when you are wiping their nose every two minutes!!
blogger / nectarine / 2109 posts
Sad! I’m so sorry both you and Baby O are going through this. I hope she feels all better very soon.
guest
@mediagirl same thing with our first year in daycare. The second year is so much better in regards to getting sick. My son is on his first really bad cold/flu right now, and hadn’t been really sick since last March.
It’s funny that I’m reading this while my son is awake/crying/tossing and turning from being sick. I like you have no patience when it gets bad. The inconsolable crying is what really gets me. But once the crying stops I am perfectly happy to hold him for hours.
guest
Oh my daughter, this is one of the hardest parts of being a mommy and I say one because as you go through the journey of raising her, there will be many many hard parts. You were not a daycare baby and yet you seemed to have upper respiratory problems your entire first year, the vaporizer ran almost around the clock. You have been told the story many times about your Dad walking with you outside in the cold air when you were wheezing so bad, your Dr told us cold air would help you breathe better, I would look out the window and see him pointing up to the stars talking softly to you , after a few minutes he would bring you back in your wheezing much better.
I have seen my perfectionist, sometimes very impatient daughter growing by leaps and bounds, it makes me smile to see this..to see how much you love this baby is so thrilling for me, I didn’t want you to miss out on the magical journey of being a Mommy.
Your doing a good job my daughter, I love you.
Mom.
pea / 22 posts
My 5-month-old has been sick basically non-stop since Thanksgiving — which was a few weeks after she started daycare. I may know WHY she’s sick (daycare germs are no joke) but it doesn’t make it any easier. I wish I could make it better but I just keep telling myself the same thing — this too shall pass.
pea / 23 posts
Three items I swear by and always have on hand when my littles get sick… Baby comfy nose (like nose frida, but can use with them sitting up), Grandma El’s ointment (works for face and chapped lips just as well for diaper rash, also can use with cloth diapers!!), and Boogy Wipes (saline wipes for the nose, prevents soreness and chopping, soothes if already chapped). Once I found these magic 3 items, the suffering has lessened during the healing process. Highly recommend!!!