As you know, Mr. Popcorn and I had a home birth. What you don’t know is that we didn’t attend a birthing class until our 37th week and Baby Popcorn came on the 38th. Where we lacked in birthing class knowledge, I made up in having read a lot of books and online content.
Leading up to this moment, I really wondered how I’d cope with labor. Everyone said it felt like your worst cramps on steroids. To be honest the worst cramps I’ve had were in eighth grade. I’m 30 now and I really haven’t had bad cramps since, so this insight was neither helpful nor encouraging. I was afraid it would be a pain I could not bear. But, if you read our birth story, you know that we survived!
Below are the reasons why and tips that helped us after Baby Popcorn arrived. Hopefully they will help you in your journey of having a baby without medical intervention and the days that follow:
- Stay in the moment of each contraction. Do not think about the pain that will come during the next one.
- Know that it will all be over soon enough and that labor is temporary/merely a blip on the map of your life.
- Breathe and/or moan deeply. Do not scream at the top of your lungs. It takes more energy than you have to spare.
- Give in to the pain. Don’t fight it.
- Have snacks and food for whoever is attending your birth. They need to stay nourished so that they can be there for you during the labor.
- Make sure to have hydrating beverages on hand for yourself. I really enjoyed raspberry leaf tea (3 bags steeped over night in a large pot of hot water yielded a light but refreshing brew), stinging nettle tea, hibiscus tea, and water. Some people say you shouldn’t drink hibiscus tea because it creates contractions, but I drank it in the first and third trimester of my pregnancy and was fine.
- Have all of your birthing materials ready at least a month out from your EDD.
- Listen to what your body wants you to do and do it. That may be kneeling on all fours, or squatting, or some other position.
- Visit and do the exercises on the Spinning Babies website before and during labor. There’s also really good information on that site about what exercises to you can do to shift your baby’s position.
- Know that how you envision your labor may not happen. Be open to change (long/quick labor, hospital transfer, etc).
- Have someone that you love deeply present at your birth. It might even help to say that you love them during the labor. I surprised myself by telling Mr. Popcorn that I loved him in the middle of a contraction instead of yelling at him.
- Don’t hold on to any anger that you may have towards anyone. It makes the pain harder.
- Visualize how you will cope with the labor beforehand. Do some simulated-contraction coping exercises. My doula had me put ice in my hands, hold it tight, close my eyes, and sort out how I would get through the pain.
- Have a close friend or family member coordinate who will bring you food and help clean your house for the first month or two of your child’s life. Give them your address book and let them work their magic. I really underestimated how important this was. A lot of my friends don’t have kids and admittedly didn’t know all that was involved in supporting a new mom.
- Make sure to have people around at all times that will help you and not just want to see the baby. This also helps with warding off the baby blues.
- Have your diapers, clothes, detergent, and blankets ready to go. I guess that pretty much goes without saying.
- Get a baby carrier with an infant insert or body sling for your baby so that you can rock them in either contraption while they are awake or need to go to sleep. This also helps to free your hands while not feeling so far away from the baby when he/she is young. And, if you haven’t mastered how to put the baby down without him/her crying in the first weeks, the carrier or sling is a GODSEND.
What did I miss? What advice would you give a new mom having a home or natural birth?
GOLD / nectarine / 2012 posts
Thank you for this! So encouraging. I will be sharing it with Mr. Grizz as well.
blogger / apricot / 486 posts
This is probably the only thing I’ve read that actually made me want to consider a natural birth. Excellent stuff! Thanks for sharing!!!
blogger / persimmon / 1195 posts
Definitely a low, low, low moan – like a mmmm and not an aaaa – and picturing your cervix open. That made a huge difference in pain management for me. As did staying in the moment in the one contraction and never looking at a clock. The ice chips exercise was helpful too!
GOLD / clementine / 835 posts
I agree with the low moaning! I actually just tried replicating the noise now and couldn’t really… but got some strange looks for fellow cube mates. Whoops! Staying in the moment, low moans, imagining dilation, and staring straight into DH’s eyes while he helped me work through the contraction was key for me! I basically did this from 4-8.5 cms, then I got a bit more vocal as my back labor picked up to unbearable pain. =P Darn that back labor…
guest
My husband thought my low moaning was HILARIOUS for some reason (we had not “planned” on a natural birth but I ha prepared for one anyway-good thing, since baby number 2 came with a quickness!) He had only attended medicated births before, and so when I would suddenly stop talking, start squatting, swaying, and moaning, he would just crack up. He kept saying “really? That’s really helping?” For ladies who are scared of a natural birth, I would say that the actual crowning is pretty painful but the rest of it was not bad at all! I’d rather give birth than break a toe any day :)
GOLD / honeydew / 8477 posts
Great list! Thanks for sharing!!
pea / 23 posts
Love this post! :)
GOLD / pomegranate / 3711 posts
Thanks for the coping tips! I’m getting close and can’t wait to use them! (well, until I get an epidural anyway…)
hostess / cantaloupe / 6734 posts
I had an unintentional natural labor (thanks, triage nurse! not). I was 10 cm and trying not to push by the time they got me into an L&D room, and the lovely L&D nurse allowed me a last minute epidural, lol.
Since I didn’t *know* how far along I was, honestly for me – I kept thinking, “soon I’ll have the epi! the pain will be gone!” I never in a million years thought that level of pain was already transition. I felt like such a wimp, until I found that out! Then I was like..holy crap, I labored naturally.
I also held something tight in my hand (bed rail, balled up tissue) and just kept to myself during contractions. I didn’t want DH talking to me, touching me, or to move. I just laid on my side and held on for dear life. I’m a silent sufferer though!
kiwi / 551 posts
What helped me with my unmedicated, natural birth was to close my eyes and visualize each contraction as a wave in my mind. For me, it helped me because then I knew it would only get so painful (I would visualize the “peak” as it was happening) and then I would give myself a little “congratulations, you got through that one” ;)
I can’t tell you how I got through pushing, except for that by then I was highly motivated to get that kid OUT and that was all I could think about!
cherry / 147 posts
What helped me was being in the tub. Ugh the water was amazing. I wasn’t allowed to give birth in the water at my hospital – but I would have if they let me. The times that my pain was the worst was when I had to get out to be checked or to refill the tub with warm water again. Other than that, I’ll also second low moaning and being in whatever position I needed to at the time. The pain was bearable for me until they broke my water….then things got serious haha.
hostess / papaya / 10094 posts
This is great, thanks!
olive / 79 posts
In addition to imagining your cervix opening, it also helped me to think of the baby dropping down into the birth canal, lower and lower. In fact, during some of my moaning and groaning, it helped me to say ‘move down’ or ‘baby down.’ If nothing else, it gave me something to concentrate on other than the pain I was experiencing. ;)
guest
I just had my first homebirth (with a 10 lb baby no less!) And I found moaning my perfect coping tool to get through a contraction. A warm birth tub also helped. I was also surprised how how much I needed my husband, as a physical and emotional support.
Even with a big baby, I didn’t feel that going natural was that painful (my first was with an epidural). I agree with Ms. Popcorns traffics to get through contractions. And though this may not bree true for everyone, pushing felt good, like a huge relief.