Deep down, I always had a hunch that if I could, I would want to be a stay-at-home mom when my children were small. I met Mr. Confetti, fell in love, and as we broached the discussions of marriage and family, he was comfortable with whatever I decided I wanted to do once we started a family.
Fast forward a few years, through newlywed bliss and nine months of pregnancy. Mid-way through my pregnancy, the prospect of stay-at-home motherhood became more and more real, as I informed my employer that I wouldn’t be returning after Little C was born. I would tease Mr. Confetti as we counted down until my due date that I was counting down to my retirement.
Retirement? I think not.
Little C was born, and within a few days, Mr. Confetti was back to work. A few days after that, Grandma Confetti headed back to Ohio, and Little C and I were left on our own to enjoy my “retirement.” My retirement where I didn’t sleep more than three hours in a row for three months. My retirement where I spent more time stressing about my child’s sleep schedule and feeding routine than I ever did worrying about any project for my any job I had ever had.
Stay-at-home parenthood is nothing like retirement, even though I no longer wear Express Editor Pants every day, no one writes me a performance review to be kept on file, and I don’t abide by the eight to five lifestyle from my working days. My current job doesn’t come with paid vacation, sick days or monthly happy hours with colleagues.
The benefits in my new role are abundant, although they are more difficult to list in a formal benefits package. Slobbery kisses and smiles from across the room. Knowing all of Little C’s favorite things. Knowing exactly how to calm him down when he bursts into tears. Witnessing every momentous achievement and more. While the benefits are not unique to stay-at-home motherhood, they are what keep me sane through the diaper explosions, the meltdowns and the Groundhog Day feeling that comes with living with the same nap schedule and activities, 24/7/365.
I feel so lucky that I was afforded the opportunity to make the decision to stay home and be Little C’s primary caregiver. My decision was inspired partially because where I live, the cost for quality child care is extremely high, and despite my love for my career in the nonprofit sector, I would essentially be paying to go to work; my income would not have covered the cost of Little C’s care. Beyond the finances, I looked forward to watching Little C grow and change before my eyes and getting to witness each “first.”
Me and my new “boss””
I’m excited to start a series of blog posts about life as a stay-at-home mom. The life of a stay-at-home parent can be an isolating one, and through sharing my experiences with the hive, I am hoping that other stay-at-home moms and dads can share their trials, tribulations, successes and tips for finding balance, maintaining presence, and getting through each day with a smile.
Stay-at-home parents, what are your greatest challenges? Your favorite aspects of this new role at home?
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
SAH seems like a lot of work! By Tuesday mornings, I’m sometimes ready to go back to work!
GOLD / pear / 1845 posts
Hahaha, I called it retirement too. Totally is not!
pomegranate / 3314 posts
So far the biggest challenges are the “Groundhog day” like existence (perfect way of describing it, by the way) and the isolation. I do have a few mommy friends, but I find that it’s tough to organize things w/ nap schedules in mind. My LO is 11 months old and I’m hoping that once she’s down to one nap a day these things will get easier!
apricot / 274 posts
I chose to be a SAHM due to cost of daycare as well and I have no regrets. One of the best things about having my baby at home with me was that he only got sick twice from 0 to 12 months.
grapefruit / 4085 posts
Great post. I became a SAHM for basically the same reasons as you – I would essentially be making an almost non-existent salary while paying for daycare. I would be miserable at work wondering what Lady M was doing and achieving each day and I would be exhausted from going to work, picking her up, doing house stuff, hardly seeing her then doing it all over the next day. She was born in Dec so the first couple of months were cold and quiet but we go out a lot now and have joined a bunch of mom meet-ups which is great. I’m also fortunate that my parents and MIL live close enough that they each come over once a week so I can go out by myself a bit. I love staying home with her more than I thought I would. Of course there’s some challenging moments but her smile and laugh always negate them.
cherry / 119 posts
the greatest challenge for me is those moments when i would like to just sit down and relax, close my eyes, or enjoy my cup of coffee, but then i feel that tug on my sweater, or hear the constant “mama! mama! mama!”
but then i forget about that when i look down on that face and she wants to give me a kiss or she wraps her arms around my neck and gives me the biggest hug! i love it!
persimmon / 1026 posts
I chose to be a SAHM for some of the same reasons as I also wouldn’t be making much after daycare expenses. I was not happy with my current job/company so it wasn’t a huge decision for me to leave. I honestly really like being a SAHM and I don’t think any of my friends believe me! But I feel so much more fulfilled seeing my LO’s firsts, knowing all his little quirks, and just spending time with him. I like knowing I’m the one choosing which new finger foods he can try, what books to read before naps, and hearing him giggle as I push him in the park swing.
Biggest challenge for us is working around nap-times. I guess it’ll get a little easier once he’s down to just one nap each day but I always feel like I’m struggling to get errands done in the 3 hour timespan between his naps, and by the time we get out the door, we really only have an hour before we need to be back home!
kiwi / 643 posts
Could’ve written this post! Thank you so much for sharing!
The isolation is hard, and I feel a lack of freedom that comes with working. I also miss engaging in higher-level problem solving and adult conversation.
On the other hand, I can’t imagine not being here. With twins, we’re only doing this once…I’m so lucky that I don’t have to miss a second of it! Their goofy little grins and little quirks make my world.
cherry / 175 posts
Great post. Looking forward to others about being a SAHM.
The biggest struggle for me as a SAHM has been trying to find outlets for baby and I to socialize together. Many of my friends do not have children, so lead a very different lifestyle. I would like to find others whose days consist of juggling nap schedules and feeding times, and have fellow little playmates for my LO.