Toddlerhood is full of those heart-wrenching “My baby isn’t a baby anymore” moments – and now that we have another kiddo on the way, Little Y truly won’t be the baby of the house. So here are some ways we’re preparing – and some things we’re deliberately putting off.
Ditching the Crib
Little Y has slept in his crib like a champ for most of his life, and I was selfishly afraid to rock this boat. But it seemed silly and wasteful to buy another crib when Little Y could move to a twin bed that could see him through childhood. So we decided we’d tackle the “big boy bed” transition at least a couple months before No. 2 arrives in hopes of minimizing any resentment over crib-stealing.
Checking out the new bed and sleeping like a champ the first night
More Daddy Time
Over the next couple months, Little Y is definitely going to be spending more quality time with Papa Y. We’ve gotten lax about this because early and mid-summer are crazy times at work for Papa Y, and the results are less than pleasant. Sometimes, if I venture more than 20 feet away, I swear Little Y sounds like this:
But now that I’m no stranger to the demands of a newborn, particularly one who’s breastfed, I want Papa Y to be prepared to pick up the slack when he can. I do the lion’s share of kiddo care, including nearly all nap and bedtime routines, but I know there will be times when I’ll be too tied up with the baby to read “Cars and Trucks and Things That Go” for the 70 billionth time. Right now, the plan is to have Papa Y start doing bedtime at least a couple times a week, and we’re hoping to restore some morning Daddy-Son time when we can, too.
A Pacifier Reprieve …
One transition I am deliberately putting off? Pacifier weaning. I’m a little conflicted about this. At 2, I feel like he should be able to go without. On the other hand, Little Y has never really had a lovey, but he has always had his paci for sleep. Considering we just tackled one big sleep transition, I don’t want to force another one. And I really don’t want to get rid of it just in time for him to potentially see the baby using one, and then throw a fit because he wants it back.
Most of what I’ve read indicates that we’re probably in the clear regarding potential dental problems for the first few years, and I’m betting it will be a lot easier to verbally reason with Little Y over the issue at age 3 rather than 2. So right now he can keep his paci, but my goal is to make sure we stay firm on limiting use to sleep and the very worst tantrums instead of backsliding.
… and a Potty Reprieve, too
A lot of people potty-train their 2-year-olds, or at least begin the process. Frankly, I have no intention of joining the club anytime soon. I don’t relish the thought of two kids in diapers, but the thought of managing a baby while running after a toddler to make sure he doesn’t pee on the playroom floor is even less palatable.
I might feel differently if Little Y was showing me all the signs of readiness, but I can really only confidently say “yes” to about half the list. Of course, there’s also conventional wisdom that says boys train later than girls (though this is totally case-by-case, of course). So just like pacifier weaning, it seems like we’ll probably wait until closer to 3 to start getting serious about the potty. By then, the baby will be well out of the constant hold-sleep-feed phase, and maybe Little Y will be a bit more interested in ditching diapers.
How have you managed these common toddler transitions? Did any special considerations alter your timeline?
pomegranate / 3768 posts
I don’t have a toddler yet but I just want to say that clip made me laugh out loud at work. Haha!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I like that he is sleeping sideways. I’m guessing he did that in the crib, too. So glad this transition is going well and I hope when baby comes home, that goes well, too!
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
@mediagirl: He seems to sleep every which way … one night he slept with his feet high against the wall, ha.
guest
We did the big bed transition, and a new house, before #2. We ended up potty training 6 weeks later because it just fell into place at 28 months. Pacifier waited until the day before three.
#2 did them all earlier, but I was more relaxed about her pace.
#3 shows up any day now.
The daddy time is huge. Having them do their own thing their own way.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
LOL to the clip!
Glad to hear he’s adjusting well to the toddler bed!! YAY!
Umm.. we didn’t really do much to prepare for baby 2. I didn’t want to potty train her until after the baby arrived (she was 20 months old when he was born, we trained right before her 2nd birthday. Worked well for us!) .
We did sort of sleep train? Every night she was waking up at least once to come get me. I’d have to lie next to her until she fell back asleep.
My pregnant bod couldn’t take it anymore, and there was no way I could keep doing it once the baby arrived, so when she was 19 months old we got her to stop coming out of her room at night. Best thing ever.
pea / 18 posts
I could have written this post myself! We just went through all of this with our older son (my newborn is 11 days old). The bed and bedroom transition was surprisingly easy for us, too, and he doesn’t even seem to remember that only a little over two months ago the nursery was his. We are also still allowing a paci at almost 25 months (bedtime and naptime only) and not even thinking about potty training yet, though he does like to practice sitting on the Mickey potty-he’s not close to knowing when he has to go before he goes. The first few days with his little brother went fairly well-but this past weekend was a little rough. I think the novelty of the baby has worn off, grandma went home, and having to share mommy and daddy became reality for him. We are just trying to give him as much positive attention as possible to avoid his acting out, but he has certainly been testing the limits and not liking it when we don’t allow him to do things (mostly just safety things, ie don’t climb the outside of the staircase!). We’ve had to step up the parenting game and I am looking forward to him getting used to having his brother and enjoying it, though that might take a little while… best of luck to you with transitioning your son to having a sibling!
kiwi / 511 posts
We tried the toddler bed had it in the same room as his crib and also used Big Enough for a Bed and I ordered Elmo sheets off of Amazon. It worked well for about a week and then it was holey terror city at bed time so we put him back in the crib. Eventually (I think it was two months later) I just took down the crib one day while he was at daycare and I was still at home on maternity leave. He came in his room and asked if his crib went home and I said yes. It didn’t seem to bother him that the crib was dissembled in the other room and he even said hey my crib.
Now both boys (3 and 14 months) are in the same room. It mostly works because both boys are good sleepers once they are asleep. The little one goes to bed first and then we finish bed time story reading and bed time song in our room and then the older one goes into his room and climbs into bed and either DH or I will cover him up and he sings a bit but doesn’t wake up his brother. And well the little one still doesn’t sleep the night so when he gets up and cries he doesn’t wake his big brother up.
The difficulty we have is when the older one needs to go to bed early (their bed times are a mere 30 minutes apart). The two together without one of them sleeping means no sleeping they are too busy making each other laugh. So that often means the little one will go to sleep in the pack in play in the guest room and then he gets transferred after the older one is asleep.
We are just tackling the potty training for the older one…mixed results but that is for a different post and comment.
apricot / 491 posts
Just went through this too! My newborn is 4 weeks (already?!) tomorrow and my son is 2.5. We co sleep so nothing really changed for him bed-wise except there’s somebody else in there now. definitely agree on skipping the potty training too. Our pediatrician recommended waiting until 3. I can totally handle more (cloth) diapers but I do not want to mess with potty accidents while I’m trying to nurse, etc with the baby.
Overall I have been so nostalgic about him not being my baby anymore! It’s a transition for me that I wasn’t totally expecting!
pea / 17 posts
Well.
We went through several transitions.
1. Co-sleeping to sleeping in her room in her bed…
Not working entirely. Sucking the life out of us. Grrr. Our toddler will be ready when she is ready frankly. Everything from “speak to her heart”, read her transition bks about being big enough for bed has fallen on her deaf ears we are afraid. We waved the white flag and she just needs SOMEONE to sleep with her on the trundle in her room for her to sleep. Sigh
2. Potty training. This came AFTER baby was born. She is ALMOST 3 yrs (22 months). I tried potty training her at 18 months… Then again later but it disnt “stick” till… She was ready! We have preschool soon for her and she has to be potty trained. So she is doing great! It was NOT as hard as i thought it might be. The baby sleeps ALL. THE. TIME. We were home bound for the most part. I did the hard core three day method. Then hauled her to park outings where there were bathrms. And grandparents homes all had training pottys to help reinforce it. And our toddler had smooth sailing!
Its just the naps/bedtime issues we have. But she has always been a terrible sleeper…