I blogged awhile back about our usage of baby sign language, and one of the things that I loved at the time was how Miss H was starting to learn manners with basics like “please” and “thank you.”
Now that her words are expanding day by day, Miss H does not sign as much as she used to, but I’m really excited that she is continuing to be polite and use basic manners (which is not to say that she doesn’t, for example, throw her sippy cup on the dog’s head… she is a toddler after all).
Miss H’s basic manners right now, at 18 months, include the following:
Bless You
When someone sneezes or coughs, Miss H is quick to say “bless you.” Not only is this gesture adorable in its own right, as her momma I love seeing Miss H acknowledging others in this way.
Sorry
The scenario above when Miss H drops the sippy cup on the dog’s head? Generally – especially when she knows mom or dad is watching – this action is followed up with her rubbing her stomach (sign for “sorry”) and whispering “sorry.” Obviously encouraging her to not drop the sippy cup on the dog (or other do other things that warrant an apology) is something we are working on, but in the meantime at least apologizing for one’s actions is a starting point.
Please
“Please” is something that Miss H picked up really quickly when learning sign language, and it’s a standard part of her vocabulary now, both verbal and with signing. When she asks for something more at a meal, for example, I simply say, “What do you say?” and she both signs and says “Please.” She knows the drill! If she really wants something she’ll do a lot of back and forth signing/saying between “more” and “please.”
Excuse Me
Another Miss H and the dog scenario is when she wants to move past him to get to where she’s going (he’s a very common roadblock around the house – we’ve nicknamed him “Traffic Jam”). Completely unprompted by us, Miss H will move past him and say “Excuse me Charlie.” So sweet!
We also work on “thank you” with Miss H, but she hasn’t picked up on that one as well. She will say it but with very heavy prompting. I wonder if it’s a little harder for her to understand quite yet exactly why you would say “thank you.” I think there are more obvious “cause and effect” indicators for the others – a sneeze always gets a “bless you,” a “please” gets you what you are asking for, etc.
I don’t know if baby sign language had a strong impact on some of the manners Miss H is learning, but I like to think it has. Learning signs has meant reinforcing certain words and ideas, and to learn a sign you repeat it over and over again. And once those signs become a regular part of your daily interactions, it makes sense that the signs would turn into words.
While we continue to encourage good manners, we also understand that tantrums are par for the course and we already know (as does the dog!) that Miss H is not going to be sweet all of the time. But I’m hopeful that if we can instill good manners at this stage in the game, then after a tough tantrum maybe we can at least get a “sorry” and a hug out of it at the end. Wishful thinking? Maybe. But all we can do is lay the groundwork and see how things go.
Have you worked on teaching your LO manners? Have they easily picked up on politeness or has it been a struggle?
pomegranate / 3275 posts
I felt like we had to work with DD a lot, but DS has picked up manners really easily. Some of his first few words were “please,” “thank you,” and “bless you.”
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
We have been trying from a very early age with our boys. They seemed to have picked it up quickly but sometimes they still need reminding. The good thing is that they are very polite in public. It’s at home that they usually forget and I have to remind them.
grapefruit / 4649 posts
She is so cute! One thing I love about the sign language is that it makes it easy to offer a non verbal reminder. Sometimes when we are out and about and someone offers something they forget the please or thank you, I can do the sign and that will prompt them in a low key way. Sit was also handy when they were enjoying story time a little too much on the other side of the room!
blogger / kiwi / 675 posts
Beautiful pic! My 3yo has darn good manners, she forgets every once in awhile but for the most part I am impressed about how she uses them in the correct context. Makes me proud! She has always done a lot of mirroring so it has been easy. One thing that is not so easy to teach is interrupting.. she hasn’t quite figured that one out yet
pomegranate / 3729 posts
DD is 18 months and is also quite polite. Says “please” when she wants something, “bless you” when someone sneezes or coughs, “Sorry” when she hits or bites (ugh), “thank you” whenever she is handed something or someone hands her something or she sees a receipt (since I always say thank you at the store when we get the receipt), and “excuse me” when she toots. I think it’s pretty hilarious to hear her say these things, but I think it’s really important to have manners!
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
That’s so cute and awesome!! The hubby and I want to instill the same manners in DS. He’s only 15 weeks right now, but when he sneezes, we both tell him “bless you” or find ourselves in a situation that allows for one of the manners you mentioned above, we say it around DS.
apricot / 457 posts
I keep trying to teach my LO “please” in ASL but unfortunately he thinks I’m trying to pat my belly and he just rubs his belly instead. I guess it doesn’t help I usually try to teach him “please” during mealtime so he’s like “YES WOMAN MY BELLY IS HUNGRY – GIVE ME MY FOOD”
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
She says please and thank you but it isn’t super consistent yet!
pomelo / 5866 posts
I have a manners girl. She even reminds me to say the basics sometimes! I read her the Suppose You Meet a Dinosaur book that a blogger recommended and that helped to cement it. She gets lots of positive praise so that reinforces it. No-thank you was another first phrase I taught. She uses it especially for when she doesn’t want a food or to do something.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
that’s a great pic! love her expression.
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
What a gorgeous photo! Mini has amazing manners, and I attribute a lot of that to sign too. Please and thank you were two of the first signs he learned, and two of his first {English} words! I still get stopped when we are out and about with people complimenting me on his manners… which is incredibly validating/reassuring and really nice to hear! At least we got manners… even if everything else is a work in progress!