When we found out I was pregnant, the timing was less than ideal. We’d been living back in the states for less than six months, Mr. Milk had just started a new job and I was slated to start one in about two weeks time. We reasoned that it would be better to save a little bit of money before we jumped into parenthood, and my husband, being the financial guru of our relationship, breathed a bit more easily.
We were not trying, not preventing after ten years of very-much-preventing, and had just decided to actually start preventing again when BAM. On a whim, I threw a pregnancy test along with my menstrual cup into my bag for a family trip over Thanksgiving. I then traveled with my parents-in-law, and expected Mr. M to drive down the following day. When my period didn’t arrive on the day I thought it would, I took the pregnancy test for fun. When two lines appeared, shock is the only word to summarize my feelings. I took a few pictures as it sunk in, and then grabbed my phone to video-call my husband. When he answered, I simply held up the positive pregnancy test, and held my breath as he reacted.
To be completely transparent, I expected fear and maybe some frustration because we weren’t financially in the place we wanted to be before we added someone new to the family. What I received and witnessed instead were tears of joy, excitement and an instant desire to learn as much as possible!
Over the next thirty-six weeks, Mr. Milk showed me a side I had never seen before. He has always been a sensitive, and emotionally-available partner, but something about this baby thing ramped up his desire to know, understand and prepare. He loved to hear what new physical or emotional thing I was experiencing each day, and proactively asked me. More surprisingly, he began to read and research in earnest.
During my pregnancy, Mr. M read three times as many pregnancy, labor and parenting books than I did (I’ll share his suggestions in my next post); he did 100% of the initial research of baby gear and items for our registry; and he was constantly buying little things that he thought would make my pregnancy a bit easier.
Goofing around at our shower.
It became a bit of running joke; I’d share a new symptom I was feeling and he’d say something like, “Oh, yes, that’s totally normally at this point in pregnancy!” He would send me links to different baby items to look at for me to give my opinion. He ordered the very first baby items, in fact – our Aden and Anais swaddles.
I am very much a type-A planner by nature. I love to plan and prepare and know as much as possible. However, in the first months of pregnancy, I found it nearly impossible to focus on anything besides my new job and prepare for my new role as “Mama.” I am eternally grateful that when I was experiencing too many new things and couldn’t be the same organized person I normally was, Mr. Milk more than filled any shoes I left behind. We have a great car seat/travel system, pediatrician and swaddles for our little guy because my husband did all the background research to find them. Just as importantly, Mr. M was prepared to be the best labor partner when the day came, and was present for me emotionally every single day.
Did your partner surprise you with his/her reaction to impending parenthood?