In my last post, I shared about my struggles with feeding my first, Lil’ Pizza (I think I will call them Lil’ Pizza and Baby Pizza moving forward to make it easier for all of you). When I became pregnant with Baby Pizza, I started to think about my past difficulties with breastfeeding and wondered if I could have success with my second. I had heard from a handful of moms who told me that they weren’t able to breastfeed with their first child, but then had success with their following children. I was hopeful moving forward into my pregnancy that there was a good possibility that I could breastfeed Baby Pizza.

As soon as Baby Pizza entered the world, I held her right away. Within the hour of her being born, I had Baby Pizza latched on me. I was simply amazed and thrilled because Lil’ Pizza didn’t latch on until over a month had passed of her being born.

When Lil’ Pizza arrived, she was actually 3 weeks and a day early (and therefore considered premature), so she was assessed by the NICU team and I wasn’t able to hold her right away. Honestly, I didn’t even know I was supposed to try to have her latch on soon after she was born because she just seemed so content being in my arms. But back to Baby Pizza…With her latched on me, I had a huge boost of confidence and was excited that we were on our way to success with breastfeeding. When we left the hospital, Baby Pizza continued to latch on but would cry after every nursing session. At times, she refused to latch on. I didn’t experience any big changes in my breasts yet (um, basically I didn’t have those rock hard, uncomfortable boobs), and I noticed that Baby Pizza didn’t have many wet diapers. Worried that Baby Pizza was going to get dehydrated, I started to give her formula after every nursing session. This was probably a poor move on my part, but having heard stories of babies being dehydrated and having to go to the hospital, fear set in and I resorted to what I was comfortable with.

A few days after being home, I saw a lactation consultant who taught me to be patient with having Baby Pizza latch on at the right time (mouth wide opened, tongue down) so that there was a good latch. She also pointed out that even a proper latch was not enough and showed me how Baby Pizza was sucking but not swallowing any milk (she was not making the swallowing sound). The lactation consultant offered me some tips on breastfeeding and encouraged me to focus on increasing my milk supply through pumping. Since she noticed that Baby Pizza did not take in much milk, if any, she told me to supplement with pumped breast milk or formula after each attempt at breastfeeding.

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A little over a week passed by, with just a few successful nursing sessions. Every nursing session proved to be different, some successes and some not. Then, I finally felt it. My breasts felt so full that I was leaking milk like a leaky faucet on one side. I was actually super excited. I was amazed at how much milk I was producing, and was so excited for Baby Pizza to wake up so I could try to breastfeed her.  =Waiting for her to wake up was probably another bad move. I changed my shirt twice because it was so wet and still didn’t think anything of it. And then, I started to feel feverish, weak, and cold…and that’s when I got the dreaded M word…mastitis! Ugh, it’s the worst.

I started taking antibiotics and tried to get Baby Pizza to nurse but for a whole week, she just sucked and sucked but never swallowed any milk. By the end of the week, I was feeling completely defeated; it was like trying 12 times a day for 7 days with no luck…that’s 84 times of feeling like a total failure. By this time, I was only nearing 3 weeks. I had told myself that I would aim for 4 to 6 weeks, but with Mr. Pizza leaving after 2 weeks of paternity leave and no longer having the 24/7 support, it became more stressful so I decided to stop breastfeeding.

I also stopped pumping much sooner the second time around. With a toddler who was constantly seeking my attention and a newborn who only slept when carried, it became increasingly difficult to commit to pumping as well.

And then there’s formula. Even feeding Baby Pizza formula proved to be difficult too. Around the time that I stopped trying to breastfeed was also around the time we noticed Baby Pizza was spitting up a lot and crying during and after almost every feeding. We immediately switched formula knowing that that had worked wonders with Lil’ Pizza, but it showed little improvement. Since she was still growing and gaining weight, our pediatrician didn’t seem too concerned and didn’t feel the need to medicate her just yet. When Baby Pizza was nearing the three month mark and was still having some difficulty during her feedings, I decided to try another formula hoping for some more improvement. Even now, there are good feedings but there are still bad feedings. I’m trying to wait it out until her four month appointment, but some days when I see her in such discomfort, I wonder if I need to find a better solution sooner.

My journey with feeding Baby Pizza truly mirrors Lil’ Pizza with some slight differences. The difficulties that they both faced definitely made it hard for me to enjoy motherhood during those first few months. This time though, I am a bit more assured that it will get easier and these difficult times will pass.

So while I am no expert at breastfeeding (ha!), I do have some pointers that I think every first time mom wanting to breastfeed should know. I didn’t know these things as a first time mom and wish I had known before having Lil’ Pizza.

Breastfeed Right Away

As soon as your baby is born, hold your baby skin to skin and have your baby latch on within the hour of being born. As soon as babies come out into the world, they have an instinctive skill and motivation to breastfeed. I really believe this was why Baby Pizza latched on and had a few successful nursing sessions early on, whereas I didn’t do this with Lil’ Pizza and it was an even bigger struggle to have her latch on.

Use your Hospital Resources

When you are in the hospital, ask your nurses and the lactation consultants for help. Since I was a second time mom and Baby Pizza was latched on when the lactation consultant came, she assumed I was fine. And I assumed I was okay too. Looking back, I wish I had been more proactive and asked them to watch me breastfeed to make sure I had a proper latch. The nurses and lactation consultants have lots of experience with first time parents and newborns, so ask any of your lingering questions.

See a Lactation Consultant

Schedule to see a lactation consultant the week you come home from the hospital. Most insurances cover a visit with a lactation consultant. It can be reassuring to have someone closely watch how you are breastfeeding to make sure you are doing it correctly. They can also offer you advice on different aspects of breastfeeding such as different holding positions, ways to increase your milk supply, pumping, etc. Even though there are lactation consultants who come see you in the hospital, I found that a lactation consultant outside the hospital will give you more personalized attention and a plan moving forward to help you.

Skin to Skin

Hold your baby skin to skin. As much as I have heard about how skin to skin is good for your baby, I spent very little time doing this with both children and really regret it. There are so many benefits to holding your baby skin to skin; it regulates the baby’s temperature, breathing, and heart rate. Skin to skin also helps the baby adjust to being outside the mother’s womb and helps you produce more milk. Babies have an easier time latching when skin to skin and can also calm a fussy baby. Spend a lot of time holding your baby close like this at the hospital and at home. You’ll practically be topless in the early days anyway, really.

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Try to be patient through the whole breastfeeding process since both you and your baby are learning a new skill.  If you’ve given what you can and are still not successful with breastfeeding, you can exclusively pump and/or formula feed.  And that is ok! Babies thrive and grow healthy with formula too (I know, I still have to remind myself of this).

For those who are breastfeeding, what did you find helped you the most to be successful with breastfeeding?