I love having a toddler. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it – this is far and away my favorite phase of parenthood so far, and I absolutely adore how fun, ridiculous, and challenging toddlers are. But, anyone who has ever parented a toddler knows it’s not all fun and games. Sometimes it’s hard. And my method for dealing with those rough times?

Laugh about it.

Seriously – it’s the only way I survive ridiculous weeks at work; I look for the humor in the situation and I use that to cheer myself up. If it works at my job, surely it will work at home too, right? So, here are a few funny truths about living with a toddler that I have stored up for when the going gets tough.

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You know you live with a toddler if…

…you involuntarily sigh every time you hear the phrase “No, I do it!”

…if you don’t hear a noise in your house for more than 30 seconds, you become genuinely concerned.

…you throw a tantrum when someone lets your kid fall asleep in the car.

…it’s not unusual to find a shoe, a figurine, or your keys in the refrigerator.

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…tiny little socks are treated like gold because they’re so hard to come by in your home.

…you find yourself singing a song to narrate your trip to the grocery store…when you’re alone.

…you always have to check your pots and pans for stray toys before you begin cooking.

…you no longer get Top 40 songs stuck in your head, now it’s theme songs to cartoons.

…you flinch anytime you hear the word “Caillou.”

…you mark chunks of time in your day by “nap time” and “not nap time.”

…you have the supernatural ability to accomplish 25 different things at once, all while a tiny human is screaming at you.

…you find yourself saying things like “don’t put that up your nose” and “leave the dog’s butt alone” on a regular basis.

…going to the bathroom by yourself is a luxury, not a right.

…you are thrilled when you wake up anytime after 7:00 AM.

…you don’t remember what it’s like to have an uninterrupted conversation with another adult. And your friends don’t remember what it’s like to talk to you without at least 40% of your attention being directed elsewhere.

…everyone knows that making too much noise during nap time at your house is the equivalent of initiating a nuclear war.

…you cannot give your child a bath without needing a change of clothes (or at the very least, an extra towel for yourself).

…half the time, you can’t even get into your own kitchen cabinets because of all the child locks.

…you’ve given up on leaving the house without some form of food, snot, or tears on your clothing (and usually, none of it actually belongs to you).

…you jump at any opportunity to run a last-minute errand for the family, because even 10 minutes alone at the grocery store can feel like a day at the spa.

.  .  .  .  .

What are your favorite “life with a toddler” moments?