Ohhhhh, potty training.
Jackson is 29 months old, and we’re quickly reaching the age where lots of the other kids his age are starting the potty training journey. I have one friend with a daughter his age who has been potty trained for months now! I wrote recently about how I have zero intention of rushing any of the major milestones (including this one), but Mr. Garland has been bringing up the very valid point that since we are both teachers this summer is a perfect time to tackle potty training. We’re both home all the time, it’s a really low-stress time in our house, and once school starts back up it will be a lot harder to set aside the time to really focus on it.
But…we’re just not sure that he’s ready quite yet. He has a lot of interest in the potty and in wearing underwear, but he’s not consistent at all with actually using it. I did a bit of research on readiness signs – here’s where he stacks up on the most common ones I saw:
- Able to pull pants up and down. Check. Jackson sometimes needs a little help getting them all the way up, but he’s pretty independent with getting himself dressed.
- Notices and dislikes wet/dirty diapers. This one is a draw. It depends on his mood. He definitely knows when his diaper is wet or dirty and will tell you when he needs to be changed, but if he’s busy playing he couldn’t care less about it.
- Stays dry for longer periods of time and bowel movements are consistent. Check. We really only have to change his diaper a few times a day, and if I catch him right when he wakes up in the morning, he’s usually still dry. Bowel movements happen at pretty much the same time every day, and he usually hides when he’s doing it.
- Communicates wants and needs and can follow simple directions. Check, check, and check. Jackson communicates extremely well and can follow two-step directions if he’s paying attention.
- Can sit still for short periods of time. Check. He loves to sit on the potty and I usually have to drag him off of it – of course, he usually doesn’t do anything, but that’s a different point.
- Demonstrates an interest in others using the bathroom or using it themselves. Check. He always wants to go to the bathroom when Mr. Garland or I go, and he asks to sit on the potty every once in a while.
Once I actually looked at it this way, I saw that he’s meeting more of the readiness milestones that I thought he would be. I haven’t felt like he was ready quite yet, but maybe he’s closer than I think he is. Right now, we’re holding off for at least a few more weeks until we get a better idea of what we should do, but for now, we are offering him the opportunity to wear underwear whenever he wants, encouraging use of the potty, and making a huge deal of it when he decides that he wants to try.
I feel a bit paralyzed when it comes to making a decision about this, because I agree with Mr. Garland that we should try to take care of this while we are off work, but I also have heard that if you push a toddler into it before they’re ready it can cause lots of issues and make it even harder in the long run. I definitely feel like he’s cognitively able to handle it, I just don’t know if he actually wants to.
How did you decide that it was time to potty train your toddler? Should we dive in now even though we aren’t sure he’s totally ready, or should we push it off even if it means it’ll be harder to fully focus on it?
guest
Go for it! I think as parents we overthink this too much these days. If it isn’t clicking it isn’t a one way switch. My 2yr old son being potty trained is a giant pain and makes me extremely proud and amazed at what a big kid he is becoming.
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
I think no harm in trying but back off if it doesn’t work. Training a bit older is easier in my experience (depends on kid of course) and less likely to have regressions. May also be a factor what you need for daycare and how much they would help you train, I know many people who basically let daycare teach them!
guest
Definitely go for it! Our first time trying was a major failure which is okay–then you know you’re not ready.
apricot / 307 posts
I agree with both Amber and BHBee. If it doesn’t work, you can just stop and then try again.
My older son was potty-trained fairly easily at 2 1/2 years and we attempted to potty-train my younger son at 2 years, but he was too young, so we stopped and now at 27 months we’re trying again and he’s doing great. No harm was done in the process of trying him at 2 years and we just said we’d try again later.
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
Like others have said, it sounds like he’s in a place where it’s at least worth a try. My daughter didn’t exhibit a lot of these signs (except being dry longer and showing interest in the potty) when we started to train her. It took us a long time because she just really didn’t want to stop what she was going to actually go and she could care less about being wet or dirty, but something clicked about a month ago and except a few poop related struggles, she’s been in underwear pretty solidly for a month now (she turned 3 a few weeks ago).
guest
We trained our daughter when she was almost 27 months. She didn’t have a lot of the readiness signs you mention, but she could keep her diaper dry for long periods of time and was excited about wearing undies. She didn’t really want to sit on the potty at all though. A lot of it was holiday timing. We wanted to be done before Christmas and needed a long weekend (Thanksgiving!) Things went much smoother than I thought they would. Give it a go! If it really isn’t working out, you can always wait. We used the Oh Crap! potty training method.
guest
I trained my daughter at 28 months and used the Oh Crap book as a guideline and it was so so easy. She didn’t have all the signs but I actually just took her diaper off and put out the floor potty and she just used it from then on. I will say that I don’t think it’s a good idea to let him use the potty sometimes but not require it. For me, the inconsistency doesn’t bode well for training. Sometimes he uses it and sometimes he doesn’t so when you take the diaper away he’s possibly going to be confused as to why he can’t go back and forth. But that’s just my opinion.
blogger / apricot / 378 posts
Thanks for all the thoughts, everyone! You have convinced me – we’re going to give it a shot!
guest
My son was in underwear full time at 28 months. I guess the influence from kids at school helped him. The teachers just said one day, send him in underwear, so we did. Our doc says they have to be 3 to cognitively understand it, or else you are just training yourself, but I’m not so sure about that. He turned 3 yesterday and we just stopped using pull-ups at nap time only a few weeks ago. And he still wears them at night. Good luck. Highly recommend the potty seat on the potty over the tiny potty. Way less cleanup.