Hellobee

I’m not a fan of New Year’s Resolutions. For most people, it is probably most effective to set one small, achievable goal for the year and keep it simple. However, I usually find myself going a bit overboard, and by the end of January 1^st, I’ve decided to lose weight, read more books, keep a journal, cook more, and travel to 25 locations. My excessive optimism gets the best of me, I get overwhelmed, and then all of those goals start flying out the window.

This year, I’m not going to make any resolutions; I’m just going to set an overall theme for the year. 2017 will be the year of the ME.

Becoming a mom has been a life changer, and has rocked my world in the most challenging and best of ways. But while becoming a stay at home mom has also been a life changer (and the best decision I ever made), it’s also been a bit of an identity thief. I’ve been solely employed by my daughter for 20 months, and while I can see the pre-baby Ms. Tornado in the distance, she just keeps getting smaller and smaller. Some is normal personal growth, with some parts of me left behind that I’m completely okay with. Nobody should spend as much time as I used to spend painting my nails. Turns out you can survive with naked nails just fine. But there are some things that make me ME that have been pushed aside while I focus on raising a little one, and I really want to see these things resurface in 2017.

I’m going to spend more time with friends. The old me had a lot of great friends that I was also lucky enough to work with, so we did happy hours after work. And some of my oldest friends would get together once a month and just hang out on the couch catching up, drinking wine, and watching bad reality TV. I didn’t realize how important these hangouts were, and how much they sustained me until they got less and less frequent once I was on a baby’s schedule. I’ve made some great new mom friends that have been my lifeline, and we all need some time together away from the kids to give us space to take a break, let loose, and go back to our families with a little more oomph.

I’m going to start running races and competing again. I grew up as a competitive swimmer, and as an adult I started doing everything from 5K runs to marathons and a few triathlons as well. This part of me is just ingrained and natural, and I miss it. Not that I was a medal winner or an elite athlete by any stretch of the imagination, but competing (just with myself!) helps with my focus and gives me much needed time alone with my thoughts.

I’m going to start exploring work options that fit into my new life and schedule. This is by far the most complicated parts of me that I want to revisit in 2017. I didn’t become a mom until I was almost 40 years old, which means I spent a lot of time in the workforce. I miss using my brain on complicated projects and I also miss the positive validation of a job well done. I’m not ready to go back to a typical 9-5 type job, though, and being H’s caregiver is still my priority, so this means I’m going to have to get creative and reach out to colleagues for potential gigs that provide a good balance.

I’m going to make self-care a priority. Like most moms-to-be, I remember thinking “oh, I will NEVER be that mom who goes 6 months without a haircut.” Well, I think we can all relate to how quickly we eat crow, at least on one thing or another. I think having children saves you from your vanity, and I’m okay with not wearing makeup most days or throwing my hair in a top knot 7 days a week. But the truth is that a pedicure, a massage, a facial…they do just as much for my insides as they do my outsides. And I want to send the message to H that it’s not about being superficial or “pretty” all the time, it’s about valuing yourself and doing things that make you feel great.

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I’m kicking off the year of the ME in 3 weeks when I go on a girl’s weekend with my two best friends (also moms!) from college, and then I am determined to continue to focus on these goals and sentiments. What have you moms missed about the old “you” and what have you done to get her back?

A glorious post-salon moment…with a car seat in the background.