Hellobee

As someone that has always struggled with both patience and a lack of control, trying to conceive, pregnancy and parenting have been very interesting learning opportunities for me. After W was born, my patience was certainly tested on many fronts. Waiting to heal, waiting for breastfeeding to get easier, waiting to know him better, waiting for ‘easier’ milestones, all the while focusing on practicing presence and enjoying each stage. For the most part, I think I handled it pretty well, and don’t think that I missed out on anything wishing time away.

I certainly get now why people with more than one child think the newborn stage is easy. In comparison, their needs are pretty simple. But I find there is this side of parenthood where we all have our dirty little secrets, you know… the one side of your child that is almost too good to be true? The side that you don’t really want to say out loud because your fellow parent friends are experiencing the exact opposite? So you just keep quiet about it and brush it off when asked?

W was an amazing sleeper at night. From a very young age (I’m talking under two weeks) he was only getting up two times a night, and soon it often was only once. I was getting two good stretches out of him, and I didn’t really feel like that exhausted new parent. My energy was certainly depleted, but hey, I was good.

Our main struggle was getting to sleep. The child fought sleep like it was his job. Naps, bed time, it has always been a big showdown. Once he was asleep he often slept well. Those long stretches overnight were so very appreciated.

Well, my dirty little secret is no longer existent. My sleepy newborn has hit babyhood and his sleep is nowhere near as good as it used to be. We’re not quite sure whether this is an early four-month regression, a leap, early teething, general baby ambiguity… either way, he’s stopped sleeping well at night, and well, up until a week ago naps were an absolute nightmare. I’m certain I earned a few grey hairs in the process. This whole flip us on our heads crazy-making, hair-pulling transition has taught me a serious lesson, that quite frankly I’m still working on.

I need to stop trying to figure my baby out. I need to stop obsessively researching and Googling sleep schedules, nap lengths, number of naps by age, bedtimes, number of hours necessary for sleep, sleep routines, babies that treat bedtime as naps, babies that need to cry before sleep, babies that need to be awake longer than they say. You get the point.

I need to stop.

The truth of the matter is that he’s a baby. Babies are always changing. Always.

As soon as you figure it out. As soon as you whisper your dirty little secret. As soon as you’re comfortable. As soon as you’re about to wave a white flag. They change. They shift. They grow. They learn. They figure it out. 

So, if you’re notoriously searching, reading and trying to figure your baby out, maybe you should take a break. Chill out a bit. Relax and snuggle that sweet baby. Put down the device you’re obsessively searching on and enjoy them some more and eventually, they’ll tell you what they need.

And in case you’re wondering, I’m definitely talking to myself.