When my little guy was born, my goal was to breastfeed until he was 12 months. Looking back, I realize that goal was made without really knowing what went into breastfeeding and weaning.

Prior to having a baby, I just assumed the baby was born and you just started nursing – end of story. Oh how little I knew! I had no idea the work involved like getting your baby to latch, keeping him awake long enough to get a good feeding, pumping, the frequency of feeds…just to name a few. I recall crying, wishing it was easier, and wanting to quit breastfeeding. I felt trapped at how often I had to feed him and frustrated that I was the only one who could feed him (he never really took to the bottle, unfortunately).

Time moved on and it became easier. We found a rhyme and I discovered I actually enjoyed our nursing time together. It was a time for just him and me – our special moments together. I got to see him give sweet smiles and sighs, and how precious he was as he slept in my arms.

Up until about eight months, I loosely followed the Babywise method (mostly the sleep, eat, play approach and frequency). Then I broke off from that as Petit Macaron seemed to need nursing a wee bit more frequently than the method called for – and I’m big on trying to take the cues from your baby on what he needs.

By 12 months, we were still nursing about 4-5 times a day. I also realized how attached I had become to nursing. The idea of weaning brought me such mixed emotions. I was surprised at some of the feelings I had about stopping. Part of me still wanted to have him totally weaned, but another side loved the connection it gave me to my baby. And then came all the worries – was he ready? was I ready? would get be getting enough food and hydration?

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After our 12 month check-up, and Petit Macaron was doing well I decided to be more intentional in weaning. I made a plan on what order to stop each feeding, and a new goal of 15 months. I stopped the dream feed first, which went surprising (and thankfully) very smoothly. Next went the mid-morning feed, then the mid-afternoon feed – still smooth going. At that point, I was left with just the wake-up and bedtime feeds. I cruised here for a bit until Petit Macaron reached 14 months. Then just the other week, on a weekend morning, Mr. Macaron took the lead with the morning wake-up and I realized Petit Macaron was doing just fine without the morning nursing…or nursing in general, really.

Our first day of being totally weaned was actually when I was terribly sick with the 24-hour stomach flu last week. I was not able to get out of bed, so Mr. Macaron took care of Petit Macaron all day and there was no nursing all day or night. Mr. Macaron, always big supporter of weaning, encouraged me to call it done. But when I felt better the next day I cried and didn’t want it to end like that, so I nursed him one last time that night, and then it was done.

It’s been four days of being totally weaned. And so far, so good! Petit Macaron seems happy and not to mind. I have new worries now, but I’m always worrying about something. To help me with this big transition, I decided I should treat myself. It’s the first time I have my body for just me since before I was pregnant – it feels so weird!

Here’s what I was thinking I would do to honor myself for weaning my baby:

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  1. Buy a New Bra – I am so sick of nursing bras. I’ve been wearing the same three bras since shortly before Petit Macaron was born. I’m so over them. To honor my weaning, I going to get a new bra! Plus, I think I’m going to need a new one as well since things have changed a bit since my pre-baby days. I’m honestly a bit excited about it because I’ve always been very small chested, and it seems I might have grown a size. I’m going to give it some time before I buy the bra, so as to see where I even out. I love the Natori brand bras – pricey but fit so wonderfully.
  2. Buy a New Shirt or Dress – There are clothes in my closet that I haven’t worn at all since Petit Macaron was born because they were too cumbersome when trying to nurse. I avoided styles that make nursing tough, too. I am going find something that is super cute, and not worry about whether I can easily nurse with it or not. Perhaps this cute dress (and hope the weather in WA improves). Yay!
  3. Enjoy a Second Coffee or Cocktail – I always worried about having more than one serving of caffeine and alcohol since I found out I was pregnant. I’m going to indulge in that second cocktail or glass of wine at my next dinner outing. Or, have a mid-morning coffee!
  4. See a Movie – With the bedtime feed and dream feed, going to the movies at night wasn’t something I could easily do. In fact, I haven’t been to a movie since before Petit Macaron was born. But Beauty and the Beast is coming out, and I really want to see it. So I am going to aim to see it some evening while Mr. Macaron watches Petit Macaron!
  5. Get a Massage – Nursing can take its toll on our body, especially if you don’t have the great form (that sounds like exercising or some sport, doesn’t it?!). I think it’s high time to get a nice, relaxing massage to help melts all my worries away (at least, for a bit).

Have you weaned your baby? What age did you stop? Did you do anything to honor it?