Little Bug just turned two and while the time has flown, it has also been two of the hardest years of my life. He is such an amazing little boy, and I love him so much, but he is a very sensitive high needs child. It has been this way from the start, and while I actually enjoy some aspects of it, there are others that drive me crazy.
He is clingy, but really only to me. This started when he was about 8 weeks old and continues to this day. He only wants mama and he will cry and freak out if he can’t have me. It’s not so bad when I leave him, he settles down eventually, but when he knows I am around and he can’t have me, a meltdown is imminent. He seems to take things very seriously and feels his emotions deeply. I really do enjoy the incredible bond we have but there are times when I just want a break and I feel terrible when he wants me and I need some space.
Little Bug breaks down over the most minor things. If he can’t wear his boots, or if he wants something to be done a certain way and it isn’t, he loses it. And while tantrums are obviously normal, he takes it to a level that is almost frightening at times. He can maintain a crying tantrum for over an hour and if at any time during that hour he settles down and something else sets him off, it is back to the crying and screaming.
To me, it feels like he just has really big emotions, which is something I can relate to. I feel things deeply and I have a lot of empathy towards people. With Little Bug, I am really trying to find things that I can use during one of his freak outs to try to calm him down or distract him. The hardest thing for me is that it is exhausting having to try to negotiate with a two year old so often. I want him to be happy and secure, so I feel like with him, it will just take some extra patience to help him through these times.
The good thing about Little Bug is that he is really social, he loves people, animals, playing, and just being a kid. These episodes of extreme reactions are frequent, but they do not seem to be affecting his overall disposition at this time. I am hoping that as he gets older and has more confidence and independence he will start to be able to control some of the reactions some times.
I remember with LeLe, it took about a year for her to be really independent. She was always really happy and confident, and her tantrums were more typical for her age range. It’s really hard not to compare the two kids, and I often find myself wondering if Little Bug will grow out of this soon, or if this is just going to be his personality for life. Either way, I’m fine and I’ll figure out how to parent him to help him with his emotional needs.
The bottom line is that he is a sweet sensitive soul and I have a bond with him that I can’t explain with words. He is so connected with me, and I would by lying if I said I didn’t love that aspect of our relationship. There is something so sweet about how much he loves me. I feel like this is one of the best parts of being a mama, having someone love you so unconditionally. He’s my little boy and I just love him so so much.