When Little Bug was 4 months old, we hired a young girl, B, on a recommendation from a friend to watch the kids two mornings a week. I was terrified the first few times. I worried that something would happen, or she would get frustrated with them, or so many other things. I left long, detailed notes about how to take care of the kids and I checked in with her frequently. Basically, I was a mess and worried all the time in general and at the height of my anxiety. But B came in, went along with my intensity and never made me feel stupid for being so worried.

The kids loved her immediately. Little Bug slept on her and cuddled with her and just in general adored her. LeLe was so happy to have a friend that wanted to play dolls with her and watch Frozen for the millionth time. And over a few months, I started to really look forward to the days when B would be there. I stopped worrying, and started feeling totally secure in her being with the kids. We started talking about her life and she started telling me about the struggles she was going through at the time. It turned out that she had been going through a bit of a mid-life crisis and needed a stable place in her life, which just so happened to come in the form of my kids. Really, the timing seemed almost meant to be because had it been earlier I would not have been ready, and had it been later, she likely would have been gone.

B was our steady nanny for 18 months, and then she decided to go back to school and that meant that she needed to cut down her hours. We moved around our existing schedule and decided on one morning a week. And then a few months later, she got engaged, and that meant that she needed to move to another state for a while, so we started the transition into her moving on from our family. And I have to say, it has been hard. I’ve had to find new sitters, rearrange my schedule again, and make sure that the kids are okay with new people.

ADVERTISEMENT

The hardest part for all of us is that B definitely became a part of our family. She celebrated Christmases and birthdays with us and the kids would ask to send her videos all the time. I loved talking with her and it felt like I had a little sister to be proud of. In such a short time, she became a huge part of our family. I was one of the first people she told when she got engaged, and she sent me pictures as she picked out her wedding dress. She’s asked the kids to be in the wedding, and they are both thrilled.

So now, we are working on keeping the kids in touch with her as much as possible, and she comes by often to see them. We’ve talked about including her in family events as an “aunt” and both she and I really like this idea. I think both of us were not expecting to form such a strong bond and I am so happy that this was the ultimate result. I can’t wait to have her included in our lives as the kids grow up and I can’t wait until she and her future husband start their own family.