…is a phrase I’ve been uttering a lot around here.
I first started using it about a year ago, and though I’m not sure exactly when it started, I definitely know why it started. This has been my go-to phrase in many different situations and it’s pretty much my version of “Because I said so!”.
Only it sounds way nicer, right??
But the best part is, it works!! At least for us. And here’s why…We talk with Lil’ CB a lot about differences and how we honor them and celebrate them and also respect them. We talk openly about race and culture and also about differences that we might see or notice in other families or friends. We try to name talents and skills and qualities that different friends and family members have and how those things make each person unique. We emphasize that fair doesn’t mean equal or that everybody gets the same; it means that everyone gets what they need. And different people need different things because we all have different needs for different reasons.
So, when we’re out and about and Lil’ CB asks to do something that he sees other kids doing and I feel that he might not be able to handle it (for whatever reason) and I tell him no, if it’s met with a “Why?”, I simply answer, “Different mommies have different rules.” And usually, it’s enough for him to let it go.
It works in so many different situations: if other kids are having sweets and I feel like Lil’ CB can’t handle the extra sugar right then, it works. If other kids (especially older ones) are playing something that isn’t really appropriate for Lil’ CB, it works. If other kids are staying somewhere later and we have to leave, it works. If other kids are playing on iPads or their parent’s phones and I feel like Lil’ CB has had too much screen time, it works. If other kids are doing something that Lil’ CB can’t handle (because he has a tendency to take things a bit too far), it works. In fact, it’s rarely, if ever, not worked!