After surviving the “new mom era,” I have felt like I have been in this slow transition to a new me and it comes from changes in our family dynamic. It’s nothing like the unending feeling of being lost that I felt with infertility. It’s not this overnight colossal change that being a new mom brought with it. Instead it has been developing slowly since around the time my twins turned one.
As a mom I know that many changes in me are a result of milestones that my kids meet. When my twins learned to walk at 8 months and I was chasing three little boys with things to do and trouble to get into, I had to learn how to manage them in public (which including becoming a much more patient and relaxed person). I stopped nursing them at 1 year, which all of a sudden gave me way more freedom with my time. The older they got the more they were able to entertain themselves and I could run to the bathroom from time to time, although it usually resulted in them jumping off the furniture by the time I got back (again a test of patience). I also became more confident in my abilities to handle three boys. This was huge for me to be able to say, “Kids are happy, husband is happy, things are going great!”
We even added another child into our family and it didn’t change everything as dramatically as those first few years with the boys. There were some changes. The day she was born, I became a mother of four. I wasn’t the one with all the babies any more. I became “the one with the three boys and the little girl.” But this new title and identity wasn’t as difficult for me to transition to. I already knew how to be a parent to a large family. It was just a slightly bigger now. I had been a mom for almost three years. I was used to being tired (what are a few more months of night time feedings). I was used to being at home with no time to myself (I never thought going to the bathroom by myself would be a luxury but truly it is). I was used to being greatly outnumbered during the day while Mr. Train was working (now I did all the same things but I did it with a baby strapped to my chest).