This has been a question I’ve been asking myself since for quite some time now. And here I am—38 weeks pregnant and still without an answer. It seems like most people I know who have had a natural birth definitely want another, but I’m not so sure that I feel the same way.
I blogged about Little Deer’s birth and our hospital stay, and to be honest, while I’m very grateful for how well everything turned out, the whole experience was a little traumatic. With every contraction I felt as though I was going to be sick. The pain during pushing was so much more intense than I could have ever imagined. And once she was born, I couldn’t stop bleeding. I had lost my IV during labor, so multiple people tried to get a new one in as they gave me Pitocin intramuscularly in my thigh. Meanwhile, during those eight IV attempts, I was having my second degree tear sewn up but wasn’t quite numb enough and could feel everything. And then they needed to put me on oxygen because I started to lose consciousness. All in all it was a little intense to say the least. I think in that moment, and even the months afterwards, I was still on a bit of a high with having a new baby to truly process it all. Now, as I approach labor again though, it’s all coming back to me.
Do I want to feel all of that pain again? Are my reasons for avoiding an epidural still applicable?
There were several reasons why I initially wanted to avoid an epidural when having Little Deer. They are as follows: