Hellobee

Little Jacks just turned 3 and we wanted to make it special.  During the whole months of March and April, I agonized about how to accomplish that.  Everything felt either overdone or was expensive (and I had no interest in spending a lot of money to make it happen).

We asked LJ what she wanted to do for her birthday and she said, “I want to do it at Montessori School.”  That would be fun and easy, but obviously not allowed by school policy.  When we asked a second time, she decided that she wanted to “go to the fire station.”  I didn’t even know if doing something like that would be possible, but we decided to explore it.  What do you know?  Fire station tours are a “thing,” and we were allowed to set one up for her party!

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Everything about my pregnancy with Chocolate Baby seems different from when I was expecting Drake.  That seems funny to say in some ways, as both of these pregnancies from an outside point of view are very similar — no morning sickness (yes I know I’m lucky), I have gained around the same amount of weight, fairly easy symptoms as a whole, etc.  The differences I perceive have more to do with me and where my life is now.

Before Drake it was just Mr. Chocolate and me.  I was able to devote so much of my undivided attention to the care and nurture of Drake as he grew inside my womb.  From the moment I saw that double line appear, I was in baby mode.  I read all the foods to eat and avoid.  Every twinge, pain, funny feeling would send me to the Internet scrambling for answers. Is this normal? Is baby ok?  I joined numerous forums to connect with other expectant mothers, and tried to soak in as much information I could about not only the pregnancy, but the newborn stage and also how to raise a baby into a competent effective member of society.  I read countless articles about the pros and cons of vaccinations, circumcision (should it come up as Drake was a surprise baby), breastfeeding, etc.  I dragged Mr. Chocolate to all the hospital provided classes on infant care, Lamaze, breastfeeding, etc. I felt in so many ways that I ate, slept, and lived baby, but in the end of course we learned that no amount of reading, buying gear, and talking to other parents could prepare us for the way our lives changed after Drake joined the family.

This time around is different in that I’ve already lived through the experience of having an newborn and know a little about what to expect as well as what is essential, what isn’t essential and everything in between.  I am already wondering about the labor, dreading the sleepless nights (though pregnancy insomnia is doing a nice job in getting me mentally ready), and dreading breastfeeding even more.  We haven’t even started Chocolate Baby’s nursery, as we know they won’t even sleep in it for another 5 or 6 months after birth, so there is no need to rush. We already know what it’s like to bring a new baby into our family, but Drake doesn’t.

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We got a request from a member last week, asking for a way to hide specific boards from the overall boards front page. This would be especially helpful for hiding month twin boards that you’re not a member of… or if you’d prefer to focus on just one category on the boards, like TTC, pregnancy or parenting.

So we went ahead and built it!

You can uncheck any boards you want to hide from the boards front page, and then threads from that board won’t appear for you. (Due to technical reasons though, those threads will still show up on category pages.) Here’s the link:

* http://boards.hellobee.com/?customize-front-page

A few notes: 

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During pregnancy, we spend so much time preparing for our baby that we can forget about ourselves. The month following birth requires a lot of healing and patience and can be really hard to adjust if you don’t know what to expect. I was thankful that my sister had given birth approximately six months before me; I saw the entire experience first-hand. I was really shocked at what a woman’s body goes through to give birth, and the healing that must take place afterwards. I am lucky that I was educated going into birth, but many women don’t have that opportunity.

The postpartum period was really hard for me. I cried more because I was in so much pain and uncomfortable than I did because of new mom nerves. It was a very emotional time for me, and I hope that with the proper education and preparation, it won’t be for other first time moms. Here is my list of postpartum essentials that got me through that rough first month. I will warn you that this is me being completely open and honest about my postpartum experience!

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My big kid graduated from Kindergarten today. I was a sobbing mess while the kids walked down the aisle to some Taylor Swift song chosen specially for its ability to get me from standard-issue-proud to snot-nosed teary mess in ten seconds flat. Enough so that Mr. T had to operate the camera. She is just simply not allowed to be that big.

I am also freshly downstairs from putting said big kid to bed. This past week has found me dancing around the house to my own personal rendition of, “I like big planters and I cannot lie,” while Ellie sings back-up. Planting is going so fast, you guys. I love it. Bring on the debt. I will sell my soul to Case IH. Big planters mean Mr. T will be home again soon. But, in the meantime, I have a little question: it’s not being taken advantage of if you’re totally in on it, right? Because the secret I’ve been keeping from Mr. T is that while he has been gone, Ellie’s bedtime has lasted longer than it should. Like, by an hour? We’re cool… right?

She’ll ask me to read her just one more story. And I will. And it gives me all the guilty pleasure that I might get from watching one of my famously bad indie or foreign films that I love to indulge in when I know Mr. T is too far away to make fun of me. Then she’ll ask me for a song. Tonight she said, “Mama? I want a baby song. Please? Like you sing to Lorelei?” I am pretty sure my heart stopped for just a moment while it was swelling up with love and adoration for that girl snuggled next to me in the bed. So I sang her one song. And another. And another. Until looking over at the clock had me issuing an audible, “ouch,” under my breath. I regretfully thought of all the things I needed to get done before I could go to sleep for the night. I kept right on singing. She was playing me like a record, but you know what? I couldn’t find it in my heart to care.

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I really, really, really love keeping fresh flowers in our house. It makes me feel like a grown-up. It makes me feel girly. And it makes me smile. A lot. But truthfully, I can be a little lazy about arranging, so I am always on the lookout for quick and easy florals that look spectacular. (And being cost efficient doesn’t hurt either, now does it?)

I have an affinity for colors and rainbows, so I created this:

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While stay-at-home parenthood definitely has its perks, some of the upsides of being home with Little C have a surprising downside that comes in its wake.  Not schlepping on my morning commute in rush hour traffic is wonderful, and not being obligated to dress up for anyone makes for easy mornings, but sometimes looking like a bum trapped in my disaster-zone of a house during nap time isn’t so great either.  Not being obligated to make small talk with colleagues at the water cooler is refreshing, but having no adult interaction some days has its downfalls as well.

Here are a few tricks I have found help me keep my cool and feel like I’m on my A-game as a SAHM:

1)      The Three Minute Sweep

One of the biggest changes that comes with being a stay-at-home parent is how much time I actually spend in my home.  I never noticed how much time I spent away from home when I was working before I had Little C.  Between eight and ten hours each week day working and commuting, evenings out with friends, and plans on the weekends, I was home just long enough to eat breakfast, eat dinner, maybe watch a bit of television and go to sleep.

Now, being home with Little C full-time means that our apartment is being utilized much more.  We eat most of our meals at home.  Little C spends quite a bit of time playing on the floor, climbing on our furniture, and exploring every nook and cranny of every space below my knees in our entire apartment.  Messes are made, every speck of dirt becomes more evident (especially as Little C masters his pincer grasp), and generally speaking, by the evenings, without a little bit of intervention, our home looks like a pint-sized tornado has struck.  On top of all that, he is still taking two naps a day, which means that there are 2-3.5 hours a day where I am trapped in “nap jail” in our apartment as well.

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