Our surrogate Aimee posted a “Surrogacy 411″ post on her blog after receiving so many questions about our surrogacy journey, and she offered to share her post here on Hellobee.
I’ve been wanting to do a blog post all about surrogacy for some time now, but I wanted to finish my journey first before I did. It’s always been like this secret society that only the few select knew about, and it was difficult to find information about it when I began my journey. It really makes me super sad to read so many negative things about such a beautiful thing. So I’ve made it my mission to show and inform people just how wonderful the whole process is.
Here are some of the questions I’ve been asked during my entire journey….
One of the most asked questions was, “How did you get pregnant? Did you have to have sex with the intended father (IF)? Or have a three-some with the mother to get her eggs?”
Nope, no, never. Prior to my meeting my intended parents (IP’s), they’d gone through the process of retrieving eggs from my intended mother (IM) and sperm from my IF and the embryos had been frozen waiting for transfer. There is an option of doing a fresh transfer which usually includes syncing the cycles of the woman whose egg is being used with the woman who will be carrying the baby. I’m not familiar with this way, so I don’t have any information of that side. For us it was after weeks of meds and ultrasounds showing the lining of my uterus was thick enough and ready to house and grow a baby. An embryologist came into our reproductive doctor’s room where we all were waiting, and he inserted the embryos into my uterus where it attached and grew a sweet baby boy! It’s all done through IVF… science. Not some crazy backwoods thing!
“Did you use an agency?”
Yes and no. I had decided to seek out a couple independently and found my IP’s on a classified site called SMO. When I found my IP’s, they had been going through a small agency but the woman who ran it was extremely flaky. So while we used her to draw up our contract soon after that, she pretty much dropped off the face of the earth and we all agreed to continue on without her. I really liked that better because I felt like it strengthened our relationship and helped it to be as great as it is today. I can see both pros and cons to going through an agency, but I was really happy going independently and just being the one to solve any problems if they arose, directly between ourselves. There are many, many, MANY agencies out there and each have their own rules, as well as rules with the reproductive doctors offices, but I’m a little biased towards going independently.