A few years ago, I read an article somewhere that discussed chemicals that permeate our daily lives whether we want them to or not. How, no matter how diligent, we are exposed to countless chemicals in our environment that are breathed, absorbed in our skin, etc. Many of these chemicals will never leave our bodies; they stay in our systems. We all have different levels of different “toxins” in our bodies, and I guess we learn to live with them. Isn’t that creepy? It was a sort of “you just live with it and go on” sort of message. I buried the sentiment deep inside, hoping to forget the entire topic and its creepiness.

Some time ago, Paige was on her changing pad as I prepared her for her nap. At that particular moment, she was looking forlorn and a bit panicked at the prospect of separating from me for 2 hours. She’d managed to accumulate a big fat tear, which I wiped away with my own lips in the form of a kiss on her cheek. I then kissed each hand… in the center of each palm and closed her fingers around them. I remember saying: “here are my kisses, they will always be with you to remind you how much I love you. See? This is how you’ll carry my love with you no matter where you go forever and ever.” She seemed to calm and the nap began without a hitch. In the weeks since, I tell her similar things… whether it’s bedtime or nap time. Sometimes I’ll kiss her arms and act like I’m rubbing the kiss in as if it’s lotion. I like to say “Let’s rub it in good, so it stays in there for always!”

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I was then reminded of that article about the chemicals and figure that I’d much rather have kisses build up in my system. I thought of all the kisses from my own Mom and Dad I’ve been given throughout my life. It’s a wonder I’m not swelled to a thousand pounds of weight in carrying those kisses. It’s a comforting thought, to know that I carry the love in the form of kisses even my grandparents gave me as a small child. Even though they have been gone for many, many years, I still carry their kisses as part of me. It’s an idea that I treasure. I find it so soothing.

I hope Paige likes it too, and knows that no matter how far apart we are, I am always a part of her. Not just in DNA, but in all the kisses I have given just for her. I hope they will cloak her in love so she will always feel safe and warm. The way I feel from all the kisses my parents have cloaked me in. I carry them safely.