Please welcome the latest blogger bee to join the hive, Mrs. Jacks!

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When most of us think about adding to our families in an intentional fashion, we think about the very conventional beginning of “Let’s get pregnant!” In our case, our daughter was a honeymoon baby who entered our lives the moment we decided to “Not try to not try” (NTNT).  We were pretty freaked out and surprised, but we didn’t overthink it. Well, we didn’t have the luxury of overthinking things. Ready or not, she was going to show up in May of 2010.  Every day since then, we’ve been thrilled that our little Baby Jacks chose us to be her family!

Baby Jacks’ first week. I can’t believe how little she was! She’s swimming in preemie PJs in this photo.

This time around, we’re dealing with a very different scenario.  After a complicated first pregnancy, we’ve made the very intentional decision to adopt our second child.  With adoption, no amount of NTNT is going to bring us closer to a baby.  A beautiful baby isn’t going to show up without very specific and precise bureaucratic steps being completed appropriately.  This time, it’s about planning, decisions and relinquishing control (Wait, wasn’t that what last time was all about?  Oh, a different kind of decision making and control relinquishment!).  This time, the blue lines I’m going to see aren’t on a stick, but instead are on a piece of paper signed in an office.  We have no good sense of what our adoption journey is going to look like, because unlike most pregnancies, each path to adoption is genuinely unique.

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There isn’t a lot of information out there for parents planning to adopt, nor is there a lot of support from internet sources.  Adoption is an inherently private act because of all of the uncertainty and confidentiality issues that are involved with a legal process.  That’s why so many prospective adoptive parents are “going it alone”, and why I seek to bring the few pearls of wisdom we’ve gained along the way to this community.

This time, instead of our beautiful baby choosing us in a happy accident, we’ll be making a mutual choice along with the baby’s biological mom.  Still, we’ll be just as excited as when Baby Jacks joined our family!

I can’t wait to share what I’ve learned and I hope to learn more from the rest of you as well!