This is a guest post by my friend Andi, who has previously written on her breastfeeding woes. If you have a guest post you’d like to submit for consideration, please email us at submissions@hellobee.com.
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Before my husband and I got married, I had always imagined us having three kids – 2 girls, and 1 boy – in that order. I wanted to have a boy last because I knew I only wanted one boy, but I wanted him to be spoiled and loved by his sisters. Five years later, I sit here with two boys and no girl… yet.
I love my boys so much. They are obviously the cutest things on earth to me. But these days, I find myself playing with cars, trains and watching superheroes, like The Incredible Hulk, way more than I would like. My older son who is almost 4, thinks it’s hilarious to fart and burp. He cracks himself up and then does it again just to see my reaction. And when my younger son is a little older, I am sure he will follow in his brother’s footsteps. I am so not looking forward to that.
As we think about adding a third child to the mix, I find myself wondering… “how far am I willing to go to have a girl?” I don’t know if I’m capable of handling three farting boys (four, if you count my husband). Or maybe I can. But I feel like I’d be missing out on raising a girl, and helping her become a confident, successful, and smart woman. Maybe I just need to play tea party once in a while and buy little girl clothes. But I do really want a girl, mostly for the fact that I feel like I will miss out on a lot of my children and grandchildren’s lives when my sons get married.
At one point, I considered gender selection as an option. I found a clinical trial where sperm sorting was used to increase your chances of having the sex you wanted. And since I have two boys, I would fall under the category of “family balancing.” IVF clinics can also guarantee the desired sex – before they implant an embryo, they can do genetic testing and only implant the desired sex. I’m not sure how many doctors would do this for their patients, as genetic testing is usually reserved for those with a great chance of genetic disorders that they do not want to pass onto their children. Of course, these options fall into the “extreme” category. They are costly and very hard on your body, especially if you don’t need fertility treatments to get pregnant.
So what other options are left?
There is always the Chinese Gender calendar. According to this chart, I can get pregnant anytime between April and November of this year and I will have a girl!
There are also the old wives’ tales that you can find all over the internet. Some of which include the following:
For girls:
- Moms and Dads to be – Eat fish
- Moms and Dads to be – Eat more vegetables
- Moms to be – Eat chocolate
- Missionary position
- Moms to be – Have intercourse with you on top
- Moms to be – reach orgasm first
- Moms to be – be the seducer, chances of having a girl are greater when the woman suggests the baby making.
- Have intercourse on a full moon
- Have intercourse in the afternoon
- Have intercourse on even days of the month.
So according to this list, if I have sex on a full moon in the afternoon that falls on an even day, and I seduce my husband by taking him to eat fish, vegetables and a chocolate dessert, then I should have a girl, right?
There is also a scientific fact to consider when trying for a girl. The Y-sperm (boy sperm) tend to swim faster and reach their goal faster, however, they also die faster. The X-sperm (girl sperm) swim a bit slower, but they also live longer. Therefore, if you have sex a day or two before ovulation, then the chances of having more X-sperm hanging around by your fallopian tubes is greater than having sex on the day of ovulation.
Do I believe in any of this stuff? Maybe. I will probably try the Chinese calendar, and timing it with my ovulation. But if I get pregnant with a boy, I will be just as happy because he will be my last child and I will love him and baby him to death (he will probably turn into a mama’s boy).
What lengths would you go to increase your chances of conceiving a boy or girl?
grapefruit / 4120 posts
We are trying some things, like Shettles (the timing thing) and diet (trying to increase the body’s acidity) but don’t know yet if it’ll work! I wouldn’t do anything costly/invasive… personally it doesn’t feel ethical to me.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
We just got lucky… but I understand your desires. I have a couple of friends with 3 boys because of their attempts to have girls
honeydew / 7667 posts
@sloaneandpuffy: I had no idea that method had an actual name. I’m going to wikipedia Shettles now…thanks.
honeydew / 7968 posts
we went through ivf but didn’t go through hoops to get a boy (because my hubby REALLY wanted just boys)…. since we had to go the fertility route, we were literally just glad to get pregnant! i’m glad we got one of each so both of us got at least 1 of what we wanted. hehe.
kiwi / 525 posts
My friend is 15 weeks into her fourth pregnancy and is reeeeeally hoping for a girl this time – you just don’t know, do you! MIL had, in order, b g b g g g. Obviously contraception was neither readily available nor affordable in Ireland thirty years ago:)
Best of luck regardless!
nectarine / 2797 posts
We are having a girl for baby one, and we agreed we will do some research and try whatever non-invasive methods we can to have a boy next time, probably just Shettles method.
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
I would love a daughter, but I don’t know if I would resort to anything invasive. I do wonder if I will stop at 2 if it’s another boy!
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Haha I’m relying on this chart to give me a girl next too!
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
@chopsuey119: That was so wrong for me!
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
wow the chart is right for me for both charlie and olive!
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
@Mrs. Yoyo: it was right for me the first time! Did you use your lunar age?
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
Er, I guess since I’m sitting here scratching my head at lunar age, probably not
nectarine / 2180 posts
We have a girl, but my husband reeeealllly wants a boy. Looking at this chart, it doesn’t look like we have a great chance of having one any time soon!
guest
Try reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. There’s a chapter on gender selection. http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909
clementine / 994 posts
For my mom, the chart is only right if I use her normal/Gregorian age. When I tried it with her lunar age, the results were exactly opposite. I’m really interested to see if the chart is correct for me!
apple seed / 3 posts
I’ve actually read that Sheetles doesn’t have good results for girls. Have you looked into O+12?
pea / 19 posts
@soclosetoheaven – what’s O+12?
pea / 19 posts
oh – and i just calculated my lunar age. the chart was correct for baby #1, but wrong for baby #2. so i guess i can just hope for the best for baby #3!!!
pear / 1946 posts
Well, the Chinese prediction chart said I was having a boy but we’re having a girl. I don’t think we did any of the other things on the list either (other than position), but I don’t know if it was a full moon or an even day. I do think that our baby girl may have been the result of trying before I ovulated, but I wasn’t really keeping strict track of everything at that time so I don’t know for sure. Plus, we were on vacation at the time and did a lot of “trying” that week so I guess she could have been conceived any of those times.
Good luck in your girl efforts!
cherry / 149 posts
The chart was right for my first, wrong from my second.
As a molecular biologist, I don’t put stock in any of the wives tales or prediction methods- short of the pre-implantation genetic testing you mentioned.
cherry / 230 posts
Using my lunar age it was correct, but not for my actual age. If it was right for that we would have had a girl. We won’t be trying for a second one after this experience, but if we did I’d be checking the calander, and doing shettles.
persimmon / 1161 posts
My mother-in-law had six boys before having a girl (and then one more boy).
olive / 63 posts
The Chinese chart was wrong for me…
I know how badly you can want one or the other, but I think sex selection is creepy and scary. It just seems like you are trying to play God with your child instead of accepting (unconditionally) the new addition to your family…. What’s next – Selecting for blue eyes? Or intelligence? Or athleticism? Or a lack of disabilities? A baby is not something you’re supposed to order out of a catalog. It’s not about what you want. It’s whole and complete and precious just as it is, whether it’s a boy or a girl or a hermaphrodite. (I’m serious.) I hope you’ll decide that if you are ready for another child, you are ready for whatever child is created in your womb, regardless of your self-oriented desires.
olive / 63 posts
OK, I want to apologize. I am an idiot — I didn’t read the last paragraph! Sorry about that. You aren’t the eugenics-minded person I stupidly assumed you were.
Sorry!