My name is Mrs. Blue, and I’m a worrier.
I blame my grandmother who is the Queen Worrier. Having seen my grandmother worry herself into a tizzy over many a ridiculous situation, I really try to keep my craziness under control. That said, with our time to begin TTC just a few short weeks away, I can’t help but bounce around a few worries about TTC, being a parent, and our post-baby life. Without further delay, I present:
My Top 10 Pre-TTC Worries.
1. Will I ever sleep again after we have a baby?
I know I won’t get as much sleep, and it will be interrupted. But will I get enough sleep to function? I’m one of those people that really needs at least 7 hours to be able to focus and be my normal, cheery self. I realize that all you moms of little ones are laughing hysterically because it’s inevitable that I won’t be getting my desired sleep quota. I’m terrified of turning into a sleep-deprived, permanently cranky human being. Plus, I really, really love sleep. I already miss it in the future.
2. Will I be a terrible mother?
On the brink of baby-making, all the responsibilities and challenges of child rearing have been coming to the forefront of my mind though I realize no parent is perfect. It’s on-the-job training. I have the best mom, and I want my kids to have that as well. My parents were strict but loving and creative. They raised us in a way that we would grow up to be the kind of people they wanted to be friends with. My mom did all kinds of creative projects with us, and my dad never missed a game. I worry about whether I’ll have the patience, energy, and wisdom to not just survive parenthood, but to give my children an extraordinary childhood like I had.
3. Will my hoohaw permanently become a cavernous pit? I doubt an explanation is really required on this one. A cavernous pit for a hoohaw does not bode well for my sex life or my ability to laugh without peeing a little, both of which I enjoy immensely.
4. Will our sex life completely disappear after a baby?
So many of my friends talk about having zero desire to be touched because they’re just so tired with a little one. Is that how all moms feel even after the first couple of months? If so, I really need to be the exception. It’s not just sexual satisfaction that I would miss, but the intimacy and connection with Mr. Blue.
5. How will I protect my child from Law & Order SVU type situations?
Okay, this one might be the result of me DVRing every episode of SVU. The other day we watched an episode, and Mr. Blue said, “We’re never having daughters.” At that point, I was kind of feeling like we just shouldn’t have any kids at all! In reality, I know careful parenting can shelter your child from so much harm, but bad things can still happen. I just wish I could guarantee that I would always be standing between my little ones and all dangers.
6. Will I miss out on all the important moments as a working mother?
My mom stayed at home with us, and I loved having her around for the ups and downs of my childhood. At least for the next few years, I will have to work full-time. Eventually, we hope that I can switch to part-time, but until then I wonder if I’m going to miss “everything” because I’ll be at work. Rationally, I know this won’t be the case, but I can’t help but ache at the thought of missing first steps, words, etc.
7. Will we still be able to travel?
I always insist that we’re still going to travel, both with our kids and without them. Travel is really important to both of us, so I think we’ll find ways to make it work. Of course, I recognize that traveling with little kids is a whole other kind of travel than what I’ve experienced, so I wonder how we’ll manage or if we’ll just give up and stay at home.
8. Will I have problems getting maternity leave?
This is fodder for a whole future post, but basically I’m about to begin a job where I’m not guaranteed any amount of maternity leave or even sick or vacation leave. It is given at the discretion of my future boss. I have a lot of inside information about said boss, so I’m pretty confident that I’ll have at least 6 weeks off, but I still worry over telling him and seeing how much time I get to take.
9. Will I have problems getting pregnant?
Two of my best friends had a terrible time TTC. One adopted after 4 or 5 years of TTC. The other is pregnant after 7 years of trying. While I realize their stories are not the norm, I was close enough to both of those situations that I find myself half expecting to encounter fertility problems. Thankfully, they both have happy endings, and I know I will as well, even if it takes longer than we hope.
And last, but certainly not least:
10. What if I don’t like my kids as much as my dog??
I’m only halfway joking about this. Our puppy has had the full weight of all my maternal instincts for the last three years, and I’m rather in love with that little bit of fur. Many a pet lover has told me they kind of worried about that, but that after their children were born, it was no contest! I know that I will love my kids more… but will I like them more? That may just depend on my lack of sleep… On a related note, I worry about how our dog will handle the addition of a baby to the house.
Thankfully, my worries are overshadowed by a far greater amount of things I’m looking forward to experiencing. What did/do you worry about before TTC?
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
I definitely worry about #7 and #1. I seriously love to sleep.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
I worry about all of these things too (and baby is due in 3.5 wks!) minus the dog one because we don’t have a dog. Totally normal worries that I think every mom-to-be has!
nectarine / 2797 posts
Most of these don’t go away after you get pregnant either! I am having a baby in 7ish weeks and still occasionally freak out about how I am going to survive on minimal sleep.
guest
I seriously could have written this same list, so good to think I’m not the only one worrying about these things!
cherry / 237 posts
I will say as a person who used to get a fever if I didn’t get enough sleep, my body has adjusted really well — far better than I expected — to the newborn sleep schedule. There is hope!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@kgbee: You sound like me. My body gets majorly peeved when I have a super short night. Glad to know there’s hope!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@mamabolt: @winniebee: I think my worries will stay pretty much the same through pregnancy. At least if you drop the fertility worries and add labor worries! You’re both so close! You must be oh so ready to hold your LOs.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@Mrs. Blue: Yes, the can I have kids worry goes out the window. when actually pregnant! I worried about that, too pre-TTC and also during TTC since it took a little while longer than we’d hoped. Now it all seems like a big blur and it’s crazy that LO will be here almost any day now!
nectarine / 2152 posts
Oh gosh, I’m only 2 cycles into TTC and already FREAKING OUT about getting pregnant, conjuring up scenarios like your two friends, which honestly would be pretty heart-breaking for me…Siiiiiiigh, why is this so stressful?!?!?
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@Trailmix: Hang in there! Wishing you a BFP soon!
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
Stumbling around as a grumpy, sleep deprived zombie tops my list! Somehow I think my 8:30 bedtime is going to become a thing of the past….
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
I’m also worried about #2, #6, #8, and #9. There’s situations I see kids in now days and wonder how in the world am I going to be able to handle it and discipline my kid without them hating me for eternity?!
apricot / 464 posts
I worried about the dog one! I swore up and down that my dog would not become “just a dog” after the baby came. Sad but true- I LOVE my dog, but now he’s a dog, no longer my child like I thought of him before. Don’t worry- you’ll like your baby
pea / 14 posts
I could have written this list Oh -MY-GOSH all of them… Thank you so much! It’s great to know I’m not alone!
cherry / 103 posts
we aren’t quite TTC yet, but getting closer and oh my GOODNESS your entire list is all at the front of my mind! thanks for sharing – so good to know other ladies feel the same way!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@Aardvark: @Charcole2011: We’ll worry together, ladies!
cherry / 103 posts
@Mrs. Blue: the sleep thing is my number one also – which seems sort of ridiculous because you KNOW you aren’t sleeping when babies come along, but it sounds like you are similar to me in that I literally get ill and turn into a horrible person if I don’t get enough sleep – it’s terrifying. the one thing I hold on to is that DH’s cousin was the same way and she has managed just fine with her LO (although of course she was exhausted – but she didn’t make herself sick or anything). fingers crossed that we will be able to adjust easily!!
bananas / 9357 posts
I worry about the sleep thing as well. I looooove my sleep. Who am I kidding? I worry about all of these minus the getting pregnant part since that has happened for me.
olive / 55 posts
I’m due in August and still totally freaking out about pretty much all of these things. I’ve decided it must be normal.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
All of those, and things like what if my lo is allergic to my pup. And what if I don’t think shes cute. And what if I have a boy and cant relate to him.
persimmon / 1465 posts
#9 is the worry for me. I have LO #1 so I feel good about most of the other things on the list – now – but #9 is a really tough one.
pomegranate / 3658 posts
Man, I was hoping I’d read the comments and they’d be full of parents reassuring everyone that these things aren’t really that bad after you have kids. Yikes!