A couple months ago, I had my first baby shower while visiting my family in Canada. It was amazing to say the least! So many old friends stopped in to support my husband and me in this amazing journey. As grateful as I was for everything, I had some minor bumps that week. We had just received an email from some wonderful friends that they were expecting their first baby. This was great news! I rejoiced with them and their fantastic news! But my heart still hurt because of reasons I find harder and harder to explain. I don’t want to sound in any way ungrateful for our given circumstances, because I am not. I am as happy as an expectant mother! I think it’s just something most people will never understand, unless you’ve been in these shoes.
A simple DIY banner made of cupcake liners
The morning of my baby shower, the house was busy as everyone cleaned and got everything ready. I was so excited and oddly enough, nervous. It was as though this shower might jinx the whole adoption process by having all this baby stuff. I was afraid it might be bad luck, or something silly like that. Have you ever been so excited for something, you’re afraid it might never happen? That’s how it was for me! I couldn’t shake this feeling as I mingled with all the guests.
My hard working family helping with preparations
As I opened each card and read the words that poured out of every single one, I realized something. They all had the same message: we can’t wait to meet YOUR sweet child. YOUR little baby. YOUR precious one. Not once did I hear adopted. It was as though I was carrying our child — maybe not in my belly, but ever so close to my heart. I’m sure our guests could see this by the amount of tears we all shared by the end of the day.
Cute little bottles filled with candy as favors
The reality of it all didn’t really hit me as I opened each gift, although at times I would feel my chin quiver, like the moment I opened my mother’s gift and found a hand crocheted baby blanket she made just for us. That alone made everything start to sink in. When I packed away all these sweet presents from all our loving friends and family, that’s when it really sunk in. Here was this suitcase packed full of baby toys, clothes, wash cloths, burp blankets, pacifiers and so much more for our baby. I suddenly felt this lump in my throat as I secretly whispered, “I can’t wait to meet you baby. Mommy wants to hold you so badly, but we have to wait just a little bit longer.” Even now as I type this, I find tears streaming down my cheeks. Who knew such love could exist between mother and child? I love my baby, so much it hurts. I thank God for giving us this gift, and this opportunity to love another in this capacity.
I am so thankful for my amazing and supportive family and friends who made my first shower so very special. I feel so loved by each and every one of them. It has been amazing sharing this adoption journey not only with them, but now with all of you!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Good luck Mrs. Tutu! I can’t wait to read more of your posts!
BTW, you have GREAT bangs! I’m totally jealous!
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
What a wonderful post, its amazing to find what God has in store for us when we trust!
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
aw!!! i love that your mom crocheted a blanket for baby… can’t wait to see your little one!
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
What amazing family and friends, your shower was beautiful! So great that you have such supportive people in your life
honeydew / 7504 posts
Your posts are so moving! What a truly wonderful experience for you!
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Can’t wait for your LO’s arrival! Good luck!
persimmon / 1161 posts
This post brought tears to my eyes! Congratulations on the new addition to your family!
pea / 18 posts
Beautiful post. I’m so happy you have amazing and supportive faimly and friends!
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
I know I’m ridiculous, but I was so superstitious that I turned down all baby showers. I was so afraid of jinxing anything. I’m so glad you didn’t miss out on such special moments. I had decided that like in Jewish tradition, we could just do an open house after our baby came home
pineapple / 12793 posts
What a beautiful post. I really shouldn’t read these at work, I’m tearing up! I’m so excited for you! Thanks for sharing your story with us.
grape / 75 posts
amazing post! brought tears to my eyes!
GOLD / pear / 1845 posts
when you finally get to hold your baby, we will all be bawling over our computers, just so you know!
GOLD / olive / 69 posts
Thanks ladies! Each and every one of your comments are so sweet, heart-felt and encouraging! I do feel blessed to have such wonderful support.
@ AUTUMNLOVE Thanks for the compliment! I do love having bangs, but they don’t always look so cute. Summer time usually means having sweaty bangs that are pasted to my forehead
@MRS. JACKS I love that idea of an open house! I think we might do something similar once our little one arrives!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
I am so glad that you had your baby shower. I completely understand how you felt. I didn’t let people throw me a baby shower. I think its great that you have so many supportive people around and didn’t miss out on a baby shower.
Trust me your baby will be “yours.” I know the love that you have in your heart. I felt it the day that I went to our adoption agency to start the process. Our Agency always told us that adopted babies are conceived and carried in your heart not in your belly. As adoptive moms we may have to wait a little bit longer to meet our babies but it is a joyous occasion when we do, and there is no stronger love than a mothers.
I can’t wait to read more.
If you are interested there is a great baby book just for adoption. Instead of pages for pregnancies it has pages specifically for the adoption process like what you did during “the wait” when you received “the call” I loved it because I started filling it in before we got our son, just like a pregnant mother would fill things out before her baby was born.
http://www.amazon.com/My-Family-Journey-Adoptive-Families/dp/0811857379/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1338836372&sr=8-1
cherry / 133 posts
The honesty you write with is endearing. I am sure I am not alone in wishing only good things for you and your expanding family! :o)
GOLD / kiwi / 613 posts
So sweet! Your baby will have so much love from your entire family!
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@Oceanis723: That’s the baby book we have! I love it.
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
I love this!
I have not gone through the adoption process but I believe the baby will definitely feel “yours.” Attachment and bonding are so much more than pregnancy, and I think your family throwing a baby shower was a great way to start!! Congrats and can’t wait to hear more!
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
This is such a beautifully written post! You have such a loving family. *tears*
guest
I’m so glad to hear they threw you a baby shower!!! My husband and I are in similar shoes as you are (were?) We’ve been TTC for over two years…no dice. We start the Foster Care process in the fall and hope to adopt through foster care if that situation occurs. (All 6 of my husband’s younger siblings were adopted through FC.) My mom has already told me that when we’re approved for FC, she’s throwing us a shower…because (her words) she’ll be darned if we don’t get to celebrate our family expansion just because I’m not carrying the baby inside me!
xo,
A