Last night, I did something new for the first time: I made dinner. I’m only kidding.. sort of.
For the first three years of our marriage, Papa Jumper and I had pretty predictable schedules. We both worked full time jobs, had breakfast and coffee together in the morning, and took turns making dinner at home in the evenings. After dinner, I’d work in my studio while Papa Jumper would relax, go for a bike ride, or play his X-Box in our game room. Our schedule was pretty much the same while I was pregnant, but after Baby Jumper came along everything changed. Papa Jumper still works his regular 8-4:30pm job, while I’m a WAHM mom. My business has been flourishing before my eyes — a true blessing!! — but I’m finding myself pulled in too many directions and working too late at night.
Being a mom is hard. Being a designer is hard. Coupled with my type-A personality and my desire to please everyone, I have little to no family time, absolutely no personal time, and I find myself answering emails during the very short naps Baby Jumper takes instead of catching up on sleep. And forget date night. I couldn’t tell you the last time we did something by ourselves.
My frustrations forced us to make a decision: we decided to hire a part-time nanny.
It was a tough decision to make. At first, it made me feel like I was a failure, like I couldn’t juggle everything at once. And maybe if I just tried harder, I wouldn’t be so stressed out. Maybe if I wasn’t so easily distracted and would really focus during my work time, I’d get a lot more accomplished. But let’s be real: who am I kidding? There simply isn’t enough time in the day to get everything done that I want and need to do.
It took us a few weeks to find a reliable caregiver. We asked through word of mouth, but found people who wanted too much money or didn’t meet our qualifications (had their own reliable transportation, CPR certified, smoke-free, able to work in a pet-friendly environment, and available during the day). I searched an online caregiver site, but wasn’t able to find anyone who met our qualifications. On a total whim, my mom asked my 18 year old cousin if she knew anyone looking for part-time summer work. My cousin gave her co-worker my phone number, and we interviewed the girl earlier last week. She’s a young college student working toward a degree in sports medicine, is CPR certified, and lives locally (ironically, she knows half my neighbors!).
When we met Nanny Jumper, it was an instant click. We interviewed her and asked super important questions like is she CPR certified? What are your references? Nickelback or Nirvana? For the record, she’s CPR certified, and sadly, she did choose Nickelback. But she told us her dad listens to Nirvana, which either makes him a cool dad, or totally just revealed our ages. We didn’t hold it against her and gave her the job. It’s a part-time job — she’s here maybe 8-10 hours a week — and I’m home while she’s here, so we were OK with a younger person being Chloe’s caretaker.
Nanny Jumper is here today. I’m catching up on work, and have somehow managed to whittle my inbox down to 6 emails in the last two hours. I hear nothing but giggles from Baby Jumper in the other room, and can’t help but smile myself. My baby is being well taken care of. I’m meeting my wonderful clients’ needs. My pile of laundry is in the washing machine, and I’m sipping coffee while I blog. I’ll bet you dinner is on the table when Papa Jumper gets home, too.
Admitting that I needed help was a really tough pill to swallow, but I’m so happy that we made this decision. Having Nanny Jumper help us means I no longer have to work in the evenings or weekends, and that means I can get extra snuggle time with Baby Jumper and Papa Jumper.
Do you have a babysitter or anyone else who helps you with childcare?
grape / 75 posts
“and sadly, she did choose Nickelback”
This made me smile!
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
Such an excellent post. (Thanks to the existence of Nanny Jumper!) Sounds like such an amazing decision that’s going to positively affect every person in your family, and with those kinds of results, you can’t deny the fact that it was the right decision!
I went through similar feelings when I decided to put Wagon Jr. into daycare and go back to work when he was 18 months old. I felt so much guilt, I only put him in 4 days a week and planned to be at home with him one day a week. After two weeks I added the 5th day! I was so much happier being a working mom.
I really was miserable as a SAHM and even though I felt like a complete failure, I can look back and 100% say that it was the right decision for all of us, we are all so much happier, and I should have done it a lot sooner than I did. I was just hanging on because of my pride. The truth is that when you are able to let go, step back and evaluate your family’s needs, and then make the right logical decision that benefits everyone, you are being the best mom you can be. Not a failure, a great success.
grapefruit / 4120 posts
This was a GREAT move and you should not feel bad at all! Plus it’s perfect to do a summer arrangement to try out the idea. We have a day nanny and usually when I have the day off, I give her the day off, but not always. Once in awhile I hang around and nap and read or whatever and it’s GREAT!
apricot / 426 posts
Love the nickelback or nirvana question. I am strongly considering attempting freelance/contract work at home after my maternity leave and you have inspired me. What a great solution!
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
That sounds like a great compromise to me! And the fact that you can work AND still hear her giggle in the next room is fantastic – talk about a dream come true!
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
i don’t know how wahm’s get anything done without childcare. i bow down before them because there’s no way i could do it!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I’m kind of in the same position, but backwards. I am the PT nanny (10 hrs/week) for a WAHM! It is such a great job, really. And kids who have nannies, I feel, have such a great opportunity to have someone who will come to love them really invest in their life. It’s truly magical.
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
The nickelback comment kills me!!! Hahaha!
Sounds like you made a great decision for your family! I’m so glad everything worked out. Asking for help is always hard at first even though we all need it!
guest
I am a full-time SAHM with 2 kids ages 2 1/2 yrs and 9 mos. I’ve been suffering from post-partum depression and part of my get-well plan is to get help with childcare. Talk about tough pill to swallow — I don’t even have a second job and I can’t seem to manage! But honsetly, I think it’s an unhealthy expectation to think that because you are a stay-at-home whatever that you should be able to do everything yourself.
What I’ve done is I’ve hired two young girls from my neighborhood to each come once a week as mother’s helpers. One girl is 14 and is amazing. The other girl is 12 and is . . . not so amazing. She requires quite a lot of supervision.
My advice is that older is definitely better. The 14-yr-old is way more capable than the 12-yr-old, and a college student would be awesome!
I am really glad I am doing this. It is so nice to have a couple of breaks during the week. I am gradually getting my whole house clean, and some days I even have time for sewing!
pomegranate / 3388 posts
I’ve been struggling with this as well. I thought I’d be able to do everything on my own, but now we’ve decided that we will be hiring a part-time baby sitter to hang out with DD, so we can get some things done on our own for a few hours each week.
olive / 70 posts
I completely completely sympathize, and am glad you found someone that works. I’m still in the process of finding a nanny, and it’s been tough.
GOLD / apricot / 341 posts
I’m still on mat leave with our 18-month old and have such a hard time asking for help since I feel like it is my job (and since I actually get paid) to take care of my child all day. But recently, the strains of my second pregnancy have forced me to take the help that has always been offered by my in-laws and it feels like such a huge weight off my shoulders! I think it makes it so much easier that I’m not handing over a baby, but a rather independent toddler though…
honeydew / 7916 posts
So glad to see a post about this, as I’m considering having a nanny to help out once we have a little one. Can I ask those of you who have a part time nanny how many hours a week they are at your home (or if you are a nanny, how many hours/week you are doing) especially if you are also at home much of the time?
Although I feel guilty for considering it, I have health conditions that make it difficult for me to keep up with work and keeping up the home as it is, so I would definitely need help.
nectarine / 2964 posts
You could design without hired help? I am picking up my jaw that’s dropped on the floor…..
I am a WAHM+designer too and we have hired help (8 hours @ day, 4 days a week) – somehow I still find it difficult to concentrate and work. 8 hours a day for our nanny to be here is so little time, not to mention I have to take time to pump 3 times a day.
Just curious, do you breastfeed? There was one time I was so stressed on work stuff I pumped 0.5 oz in 16 minutes (which usually would have yield 3-4 oz at least).