I haven’t shared much about our second adoption process and that’s because there just hasn’t been much to share. If you can believe it, we’re not even “officially” waiting for a referral of Lil’ Cowgirl yet.
Bleh.
I don’t know if it’s because things have changed so much in the three years since our first process, or if it’s that our agency doesn’t feel the need to woo us a little now that we are a returning family, but we have been a little disappointed by the lack of details we’ve been given and the delayed responses we’ve been getting.
After submitting our application in early June, we were notified that there had been some changes made to some of the forms and we had to redo them. We submitted those and then we were notified again that there was a change that they didn’t catch and a different form had to be resubmitted.
Finally, over a month later, our application was complete and our clearances were received by our agency and they let us know that they were ready for our next payment so we could begin our homestudy. A good chunk later, our homestudy fee was paid and we waited to hear from our assigned social worker.
That took a month.
And finally, nearly three months after our application was first submitted, the first of our three homestudy visits was scheduled for this week. We hope to be finished with our visits by mid-September and we hope our homestudy will be written and completed by mid-October. Once our homestudy is written and completed, it will be sent to Korea and we will then be *officially* waiting for a referral of a sweet Lil’ CG. When we handed in our application, we were hoping to have our homestudy in Korea by now and were wishing for a very special Christmas present in the form of Lil’ CG’s picture and referral, but at this point, we’ll be lucky if we have a referral by Valentine’s Day.
We’ve tried to be very zen about our second process because we knew from the start that it would take at least 2 years. We’ve resigned ourselves to waiting because we know that in the end, we will have Lil’ CG home (and we’ve certainly got our hands full with Lil’ CB in the meantime!), but it’s rather irritating that the initial process before the wait is taking so darn long.
I suppose small steps are steps nonetheless, but we thought our process would begin with a slow jog (or at least a leisurely walk!) before the long wait to bring Lil’ CG home really began… there’s nothing we can do though, so we’ll take those steps, no matter how small.
Lil’ CB is waiting for his little sister, too… he paused on a recent walk and said, “I’m picking flowers for my baby sister, mommy!” My heart is mush.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
Lil’ CB is so cute picking flowers for his sister!!! Was he old enough that he has any memory of coming to be with you? Or at this point does he just remember always being with you? I’m wondering how much of an understanding he’ll have of his little sister’s transition when she comes to join her family. Let me know if those are too personal of questions!
clementine / 958 posts
I heard this story on NPR a couple weeks ago and thought of you: http://www.npr.org/2012/08/07/157844554/would-be-parents-wait-as-foreign-adoptions-plunge I hope the process speeds up for you guys!
GOLD / cherry / 182 posts
Awww, it sounds like you are all doing a lot of waiting. I’m sure it’s hard to have patience and not have anything you can do about it. Hang in there!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
that must be so frustrating to wait so much, but you have such a great attitude about it. i hope things speed up for you guys soon and that everything works out!
apricot / 340 posts
Your son is so cute!
Hope the process speeds up for you, and CB gets to meet his lil sister soon.
pomelo / 5178 posts
I hope things speed up a little bit, but I’m so excited for you, in the meantime! How incredibly exciting to have another baby, and I’m sure CB will be a wonderful big brother.
Congrats!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@MamaMoose: not too personal
lil’ cb was 15 months when he came home, so he doesn’t have any real memory (i think) of the transition, but he does say he remembers — i think what he remembers are things from the conversations we have and the pictures he looks at all the time. i am actually really looking forward to seeing how his little sister’s transition will help him understand his own adoption story. we hope to bring him to korea with us so can experience it and gain more understanding on what his own transition was like.
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@owlmom: yup, that article about sums what’s been going on! it’s hard because we know that what they’re doing is in the best interest of the program, but it’s so hard for the parents and the children…the older the child when he comes home, the harder the transition. and in our case, with children in the korea program being in foster care, it’s so hard for the foster families as well. in fact, lil’ cb’s foster mom stopped fostering (she had done it for 10 years) after lil’ cb came home, because she it was just too hard to say goodbye to a child she had raised for 15 months. and it was so hard for him to say goodbye to her, too. we know that in the end, things will work out the way they are supposed to, but it’s just hard when it seems that the system is hurting the most important people in the process — the children.
guest
I feel like the process is just SLOWER this time. And you know I’m already over the wait… so this should be interesting. I’m sorry your process is going so slow though too… how frustrating!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
I hope things speed up for you guys.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
Hang in there! She’ll be so worth the wait!