I’ve shared a bit about why we’re doing a nanny share, the gear we gathered for the share, and on choosing our nanny. We were pretty psyched about the situation all around. Our “share family” is hands down awesome and I feel like we’re great support systems for each other, as we’re all new parents.

So things were moving along just fine until, well, things started to not be fine. Not fine with our nanny, that is. Uh oh.

Hiring a nanny isn’t easy. And hiring one for the first time can be extra challenging as you’re not 100% sure what you’re looking for, what personality traits will be a good match for your family, etc. Combine that with “I’m about to go back to work and I’m hating the thought” hormones, and it’s pretty tough. With that said, we hired a nanny who had a lot of infant experience and seemed like she could handle two little babies quite well.

But then we started noticing she wasn’t making an effort to get the girls out for walks (and we have an awesome double stroller just waiting to be used!). Unless we specifically requested it, the girls weren’t getting any fresh air.

We also noticed that after the first week or two, the TV was always on whether the girls were awake or asleep.

Then M, the other baby, who is a better napper than Baby H, was sleeping for huge chunks of time (say, 3-4 hours) and the nanny was almost unwilling to wake M up. One day, the babies didn’t see each other for the entire 10 hours they were together! Part of the joy of a nanny share is the socialization aspect of it. And besides, a 5-month-old shouldn’t be napping for 4 hour stretches.

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And finally, the kicker: the nanny was using the Bumbo seat on the coffee table. It was explicitly stated by us that the Bumbo should always be used on the ground, with supervision, for safety reasons. When this issue was brought up with the nanny it was met with a lot of excuses. We were all quite upset that our instructions had been disregarded on multiple occasions. It wasn’t an issue of her doing one thing when we’d rather her do another. It was 100% an issue of the safety of our children.

Apparently our nanny was not a fan of the discussions we’d had with her on the Bumbo subject and two weeks after it happened, she sent us all an email with her resignation, providing absolutely no notice.

Which means we’re in a complete scramble for finding and interviewing nanny candidates. Yikes!

This situation has taught me a lot about myself as a parent and what I need from a nanny. I knew when we hired our nanny she had an abrasive personality. I thought in the long run that would be good: she wasn’t going to beat around the bush if she had suggestions and as a new parent I assumed I needed a lot of suggestions. False! Her personality and approach made me second guess how well I know my baby and had Mr. H and I changing certain things in our own life to accommodate the nanny. I felt constantly steamrolled by her and almost afraid to tell her what I did or did not want her to do with Baby H. I think my anxiety level was rising more and more without me even realizing it. I know Baby H better than anyone in the world and if something doesn’t feel right I need to speak up. I’m the expert!

She also had me pumping like a crazy person trying to keep up with Baby H’s feedings! Every day she was with the nanny she was eating 5-7 ounces more than the days Mr. H watches her. I was beginning to feel incompetent and stressed about my milk production until I started really evaluating things. The nanny was feeding Baby H 6 ounces every 2 hours! At 5 months old (and knowing my baby) this is way too much. This week with Mr. H he’s feeding her 6 ounces every 3 hours and the baby is doing awesome! I think our nanny was stuffing her crazy full of milk to get her to sleep more.

My hope is that this post isn’t coming across as petty but rather an open statement of how important it is to find the right care provider for your baby! As the parent you know your baby the best. When interviewing anyone, beyond the basics of their experience, CPR certification and hourly rate, keep in mind:

  • Is this someone you can have a real dialogue with, who will listen to your opinions and ideas in an open and constructive manner?
  • What specifically does a day with a little one your child’s age look like – nap schedule, feedings, activities, etc? Does it match up to how you spend your day with your child and/or what you expect based on research you’ve done? (when we started with our nanny Baby H really wasn’t on a schedule but we had a general idea of what we thought her day would look like)
  • Does he or she appear to have an active lifestyle? What kinds of hobbies or activities do they do in their time off? (a good guess as to whether or not someone can keep up with your active child is how active they are on their own time!)

Even though we were left in a precarious situation this week, I feel like we are all better off and able to find a situation that works better all around – a nanny that is a better fit for both of our families and job that is a better fit for our former nanny. I’m excited about the new opportunity ahead as we interview potential nannies!

I’m sure we will find someone awesome to hang out with Baby H! Who wouldn’t want to spend time with that face?!


Have you experienced conflict with your childcare provider? If so, how were you able to remedy the situation?