My husband and I had two very different outlooks on how our life would change once we became parents. Before we had kids, we had plenty of alone time together. We made a point to go on a date several times a month. We loved going out to dinner, the movies, or the park. We loved road trips and going on vacation, and even traveled throughout my pregnancy! Papa Jumper argued that we’d start spending more time at home, and have little time together or alone after kids. I argued that our life wouldn’t change very drastically. I had every intention of taking our baby with us everywhere we went — out to eat, to the mall, and on all of our travel adventures.
It turns out we were both right, and we were both wrong. We do spend a lot more time at home as a family unit, but genuinely enjoy our time together. We also travel just as frequently as we did before. But date nights, as Papa Jumper predicted, seem to have disappeared.
In the last year, Papa Jumper and I have had two official dates. It was just as hard leaving Baby Jumper behind at eleven months as it was at five weeks. The first time I let my parents watch her, I prepared a color coded manual. You guys, I wish I was joking! My parents humored me and didn’t laugh when I called every 15 minutes to check in. It was so hard being away from the baby that we cut our evening short and came home early.
Now we take Baby Jumper with us everywhere. She’s been out of state a few times and is really turning into a great traveler. She loves going to the mall and is so good when we’re at a restaurant. Our days are filled with bottles, diapers, baby snuggles and schedules. So when do we get our alone time?
Baby Jumper is ready for her first sleepover at Grammy’s House!
We have lots of date nights with the baby. There are a handful of family-friendly restaurants in our town that we like to go to. We spent a lot of time going for walks or at the park over the summer. Most evenings, you’ll find us playing in the living room until it’s time for bed. Now that it’s fall, we plan on taking Baby Jumper to the pumpkin patch and on her first hayride. She’s still too young to go to the movies, but I see lots of family time at the movie theater in our future! And, of course, we’ve gone on several trips since she’s been born and enjoyed every moment of traveling as a family.
Now that she’s older, we’re getting much better at getting more alone time. Until recently, I hated the idea of leaving her with a babysitter… even if it was my parents! I felt guilty leaving her behind and worried that we were being a bother on my parents, who are our go-to sitters. Everyone, including my parents, reassured me that it’s just as important for my husband and me to get alone time as it is we spend time together as a family. Turns out, they’re right.
A few weeks ago, my parents offered to let Baby Jumper sleep over at their house. This would be her first overnight trip, and the first time I’d be away from her for more than a few hours. It was hard and I initially said no to the request, but later changed my mind. We took Baby Jumper shopping for an overnight bag (see the backpack in the photo?) and she picked it out herself. It’s hot pink and Minnie Mouse, her favorite character, and she helped us pack it up the night she slept at my parents’ house. She had a fantastic time at her first sleepover, and Papa Jumper and I enjoyed a night to ourselves. We went shopping, out to dinner, had a few drinks and stayed up all night watching Netflix. We picked Baby Jumper up the next morning, had breakfast with my parents, then spent the afternoon playing outside. It was the perfect end to our weekend!
Was it hard for you to leave your little one for the first time? When do you think you’d feel comfortable leaving them overnight?
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
Haha I’m the opposite!! I highly value time alone and wish I had more go-to babysitters. Cobi’s naps are a special time for me and without them I definitely go crazy. We have only had one real date as well but that’s because of our babysitter situation. I think we should start budgeting for a sitter once a month for a date night.
I have no trouble leaving him for a few hours; I feel that it makes me value our time together even more because then I have a chance to miss him.
grapefruit / 4187 posts
What an adorable picture!!
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
i’ve never had a problem leaving the kids.
mr bee and i did once overnight when charlie was 3 months old for our anniversary and i’d do it again in a heartbeat! it’s just that olive won’t take a bottle so i don’t think i’ll be able to be away from her until she’s consistently sleeping through the night or weaned!
pomelo / 5178 posts
We don’t really go out without the kids often, maybe twice a year? The only time we’ve left DD overnight was when DS was born, and ev en then DH went home each night to put her to bed and was back at the house each morning before she woke up. I’m ok with it, though, because we do get lots of alone time in every evening and on weekends. The kids are in bed by 7 at the latest, so DH and I get several glorious hours all to ourselves every single night.
We also have at-home date nights every Friday, and spend weekend nap times together relaxing. I think it’s a good balance for us, right now.
cherry / 119 posts
It was hard for me to leave my LO the first time because I was unsure if my parents remembered how to care for a newborn. I made an effort not to call, but I checked my phone every 10 minutes in case they called. Now I happily drop her off.
Her first overnight will be in December. I’m actually looking forward to it!
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
AHHH love that photo of baby jumper
I think I’m going to have a hard time leaving LO behind for the first time… DH thinks that a wknd trip away next year will be easily feasible– I think he’s in for a rude awakening at the thought of leaving his lil boy behind!
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
Aw, cute picture. It was harder for me when he was little, and I didn’t really have the opportunity to leave him then anyway. Now that he’s a bit older and reliably STTN, date nights are easier.
I do think I would be nervous leaving him with someone who’s not family for a significant chunk of time.
GOLD / cherry / 182 posts
I think it’s tough. I’ve felt this exactly: “Until recently, I hated the idea of leaving her with a babysitter… even if it was my parents! ”
But then my mom reminded me that it is important for my little guy to have relationships with other people, especially with his grandparents, that are separate from me. I find I come back from time away feeling rejuvenated and ready to spend quality time with him (not that it’s not all quality, but sometimes when I’m at the end of my rope. . .)
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
Baby Jumper looks so happy to be spending time with her Grammy!
persimmon / 1341 posts
I’ve never had a problem leaving the baby. My biggest concern is making sure I have enough milk pumped for her. I left her with my dad and sister at 5 days old to go to the grocery store. It wad only 30 minutes and everyone loved it. I’ve left her with my sister-in-law and her husband, my inlaws, and my parents multiple times. She’s 2 months old and we just left her with the grandparents for 3 days/2 nights. She spent one night with each set of parents and it absolutely made their year! I think it’s so important for her to have that time with them because those are some ofmu fondest memories from childhood.