After our first night home from the hospital, I absolutely dreaded nightime. Because night with a newborn meant a crying baby, no sleep, struggling to breastfeed with a co-sleeper wedged between Mr. H and me. Baby H cried whenever she was set down and busted out of her swaddle constantly. Many nights I cried, and when she would finally settle down to sleep between us (again, in the co-sleeper) I would freeze as I slept because I didn’t want to keep any blankets on myself for fear that they would get anywhere near her face (they wouldn’t have; I was paranoid and sleep deprived).
Fortunately, things got better and by 10 weeks I was definitely feeling human again.
Fast forward to where we’re at today, now that Baby H 8 1/2 months. Nights in our house are a relatively easy thing (knock on A LOT of wood), and they have been for months. Baby H started sleeping through the night at 12 weeks, from 7pm – 7am. I feel bad and almost braggy by saying that, but it’s 100% the truth and I’m not even sure sometimes how we were lucky enough for this to happen. I haven’t read any sleep books and I know nothing about formalized “sleep training.” I know so many moms who struggle to get their babies to sleep for a few decent stretches at night and I wish I had some amazing advice for them! If only Baby H could talk and share her secrets.
When all is said and done, I think I just happen to have a super chill baby who really likes to sleep. Granted, not every bedtime is filled with unicorns and rainbows – some nights she puts herself to bed perfectly and other nights she might cry for 10-15 minutes before going to sleep. Last night she woke up at 9:30pm and cried for about 10 minutes before going back down. Every night is different and I always try and not take the sleep for granted.
There are a few things, though, that I feel like we are doing right (beyond having a little girl who loves to snooze), and a few things we aren’t doing that also have helped us.
- I have never rocked Baby H to sleep. The rocker in her nursery is terrible (my fault since I picked it out!) but I think that works in our favor. She is not used to being rocked to sleep and I’m never tempted to do it. Which also means if we’re traveling we don’t have to hope and pray there will be a rocker wherever we’re staying.
- We use a white noise machine. This is important for naps and nightime and we love it. Our house is small and her bedroom faces the street, so she’d constantly be woken up by the sounds of people, cars and trucks. The white noise machine blocks everything out pretty well and it’s small and easy to travel with.
- I made terrible curtains for her nursery. The curtains I made do not block a lot of light out. I was very angry with myself for doing a bad job, but now I’ve realized this is also a blessing. Baby H doesn’t need complete darkness for naps or nightime. Which, again, helps when we travel as it’s not a given we’ll have a room as dark as a cave when we’re away from home and also helps during certain parts of the year where it stays light later in the evening.
- Her bedtime is 7pm. Or earlier. We absolutely don’t stray away from her bedtime; there is no staying out late in our house. We start getting her ready for bed at 6pm and she’s in her crib by 7pm. Earlier if she’s particularly fussy or had a day filled with shorter naps than usual. The only time we haven’t stuck with this bedtime in the past 5 months was when we were traveling around Christmas. This routine is so important!
- Crying or fussing it out. We weren’t given much of a choice about crying it out – the first nanny we hired (we’re now on our second nanny) was very strict about having Baby H cry it out for naps. It’s something I definitely didn’t have it in me to do (it’s HARD hearing your baby cry and cry), but our nanny was very firm that it needed to happen. Baby H was as terrible napper! Crying it out helped tremendously with her naps and also translated well into nights. It made me less uncomfortable with letting her cry or fuss when I put her to bed at night and keeps me from running straight into her nursery if she wakes in the middle of the night. 9 times out of 10 she will put herself back to sleep. She had a 2-week sleep regression at 4 months where she was inconsolable, so of course I was going into her nursery more at night, but once the worst of it had passed and she was still waking up periodically, I let her cry it out and after 1 or 2 nights she went right back to sleeping through the night.
- We don’t rely on motion. Before we worked on crying it out, we did rely on her bouncer or swing for some good naps. Once our nanny started and was working on naps and crying it out, we did the same at home, which meant always napping and sleeping at night in her crib and no motion involved. In fact, a few months ago we loaned our bouncer and swing to friends for their little one. Just as we don’t rock her to sleep in our arms, not letting anything else rock her is just as important.
Of course, we will probably never know for sure whether Baby H is a great sleeper. And since we’re not walking encyclopedias on creating good sleep habits for your baby, everything we’ve done is based on assumptions, accident, basic advice from a nanny, and a whole lot of hope. But for whatever reason, whether due to us making the right choices, Baby H simply loving sleep, or a combination of both, things are going really well.
So no matter where you are with your little one’s sleep, know that there is hope and the possiblity of well rested, dream-filled sleep in your near future. It will happen and it will be glorious!
What steps have you taken to help your LO’s sleep habits?
Hellobee Series: Mrs. Hopscotch part 12 of 12
1. Going Au Naturale by Mrs. Hopscotch2. The Journey to Baby H by Mrs. Hopscotch
3. A Nursery... Pouf! by Mrs. Hopscotch
4. A Work At Home Dad by Mrs. Hopscotch
5. Big Reveal: Baby H's Nursery! by Mrs. Hopscotch
6. A Day with a Newborn by Mrs. Hopscotch
7. Placenta Encapsulation by Mrs. Hopscotch
8. The Nanny Share by Mrs. Hopscotch
9. Reflections on Maternity Leave by Mrs. Hopscotch
10. In the picture by Mrs. Hopscotch
11. I'm in the picture! by Mrs. Hopscotch
12. Sleep at 8 months & How Baby H Started Sleeping Through the Night at 12 Weeks by Mrs. Hopscotch
Sleep Training part 10 of 11
1. Sleep Training Books by Guides2. When to Sleep Train by Mrs. Bee
3. Does When You Sleep Train Help Determine Success? by Mrs. Bee
4. Sleep Training Noelle: Part I by Mrs. High Heels
5. Sleep Training Noelle: Part II by Mrs. High Heels
6. Rubies' Sleep Training Story by parenting
7. Sleep Training Part 1 - How We Night Trained by Mrs. Bee
8. Sleep Training by Mrs. Jump Rope
9. The Whens, Whys and Hows of Our Sleep Training Process by Mrs. Pen
10. Sleep at 8 months & How Baby H Started Sleeping Through the Night at 12 Weeks by Mrs. Hopscotch
11. Crying it Out by Mrs. Pencil
cherry / 119 posts
We pretty much followed the exact steps you did, and my little one has been sleeping 7-7 since 4 months! That’s when we moved her to her crib and let her cry it out. luckily, it only took two days and 10-15 minutes of crying. I do think we have a baby who likes to snooze too though, because if we let her, she could probably keep sleeping until 8 or 9am. A lesson I learned for whenever #2 comes along, is to put the baby in her crib in the nursery early. i feel like my husband and i were the ones who kept waking her up or if she stirred, i just picked her up and nursed her. she seemed to actually be relieved when we put her in her own room!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
That’s amazing she was sleeping such long stretches at such a young age!!
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
Lucky you! I hate to say it, but after reading every sleep book and doing everythign “right” for many many months, I think having a good sleeper is luck of the draw. My son is not a bad sleeper (STTN about 50/50 when not sick) at 7.5 months. But he was a terrible napper until 6 months no matter what we did. And he only sleeps 10 hours at night.
GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts
We have an awesome sleeper too and I don’t know how we lucked out. She’s been STTN since about 6 months, and takes two very consistent naps every day.
honeydew / 7444 posts
I think we have a good sleeper because of how hard we worked at it from the 2 month mark. Once we got a routine down, and i was able to figure out her awake times, it got SOO much better.
pomegranate / 3716 posts
Wow, she’s such a good little sleeper!! What time do you usually get home from work? With a 6PM bedtime routine, it seems like you would come home and then put her to bed??
blogger / apricot / 366 posts
@sweetchic: I get home around 5:45/6pm. Which means, a tiny bit of playing/interacting, then getting ready for bed. BUT getting ready for bed includes bathtime, lotion, pj’s, a story, nursing, etc. And 99% of the time it’s me doing all of that, so it’s still “together” time. It is hard though – 1 hour in the morning (I leave for work at 8am) and 1 hour at night
grapefruit / 4400 posts
How long do you let her “cry it out” when she wakes up in the middle of the night? I let her go for 1-2 minutes, then go in and rescue her, only to have her fall asleep at the boob after 2 or 3 minutes of nursing.
blogger / apricot / 366 posts
@mrsvivian: Yes, I agree that time in the crib and “their space” is so helpful. We transitioned to the crib at, maybe, 8 weeks? I think I was the one who needed to be ready for it
@winniebee: I know, that’s why I just couldn’t read any sleep books! I think it’s so much of watching your baby and their cues/patterns and your instincts…and then hoping for the best!
@caffeinated: It’s amazing how much better things get and how much more manageable after you get a routine going!
blogger / apricot / 366 posts
@habesbabe: honestly, a long time. But it’s never long screaming fits. If she was screaming her head off for 20 minutes straight with no pause, I’d definitely go in. But we watch on the monitor: a few minutes of crying, then sucking on her hand, then some crying, then a longer pause of sucking on her hand. You can tell when the breaks get longer, she’s getting closer to sleep. That’s mostly for naps though. At night she just hasn’t been a big night cryer after she slept through the night for the first time, but I assume the same would apply – watching/listening to her cues. If they’re not frantic cries and she’s taking some breaks, then most likely she’ll self sooth and go to sleep.
grapefruit / 4400 posts
@Mrs. Hopscotch: Thanks, this helps soooo much! I want to do this for LO (she’s 6 months next week), but the hubs cannot stand her crying! He thinks it’s so so sad and he wants to be her white knight
But I keep telling him it’s for her own good!
watermelon / 14206 posts
When my son as about 3 months old, I had been nursing him to sleep every night. He was good at sleeping through the night. Then one night, I nursed him and he didn’t fall asleep, yet. I put him in his crib for a minute, cause I just had to go to the bathroom. When I was in there, I heard him fuss for a few minutes, then he got quiet. I came out of the bathroom and found a sleeping baby. That’s when I realized he (and I, lol) will survive if I just put him down. He’s 5, now, and he’s still a great sleeper, and always has been. I guess some things you have to learn by accident, lol.
I have another one coming in March, and I’m really hoping I’ll be lucky and have another good sleeper!
cherry / 226 posts
We were also lucky to have a sleeper 6:30pm to 5:30am. I did exactly as you did. I’ve seen my brothers and didn’t want to end up with babies out of routine or tired or sleeping with me till 5 yrs old! So I did the exact opposite as them.
We also swaddled too, that worked wonders! We used the Velcro one so we could wrap it tight.
My LO created his own schedule and if I didn’t put him down, or if we weren’t at home, he turns into an angry little monster!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@Mrs. Hopscotch: DD is only 9 days old so I’ve been doing some rocking to sleep if she needs it. I would rather not, but I don’t feel comfortable letting her cry, fuss ok, but not full blown crying. What did you do about this in the super early days?
blogger / apricot / 366 posts
@HabesBabe: It is hard at first! But hopefully your LO can self sooth and be snoozing on her own in no time!
@Teachermama: Yes, we were big Miracle Blanket users in the early days! She eventually fought it and transitioned easily into a sleep sack, but the MB was instrumental in her sleeping better at hte beginning!
@Andrea: Do whatever works at this point! She’s little and whatever she needs she needs. Up until 10-12 weeks go off of her cues and needs. And THEN start making adjustments – not relying on movement for sleeping, letting them fuss a little, etc. I think they say you can’t spoil them for the first 3 months, so whatever they need is what they need! Baby H took almost all of her naps while laying on my chest while I was on maternity leave. It was what worked!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@Mrs. Hopscotch: aaah ok! whew, I thought you started right away. thanks!!
blogger / apricot / 366 posts
@Andrea: Definitely not!
This is us in the very early days:
http://www.hellobee.com/2012/05/10/a-day-with-a-newborn/
And us at 10 weeks:
http://www.hellobee.com/2012/07/05/sleep-at-10-weeks/
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@Mrs. Hopscotch: thanks, i will check those out!
apricot / 275 posts
We just started sleep training, so I am loving all of these posts! How awesome that Baby H is a great sleeper! Hoping my Baby H follows suit
guest
hi! can you recommend a good white noise machine? we are desperate because my toddler is going to bed sanme time as baby and with his loud voice ruining my relaxing routine!
HELP!
blogger / apricot / 366 posts
@eva: We LOVE our Dohm white noise machine. It was the best purchase ever!
http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-Dohm-DS-Speed-Sound-Conditioner/dp/B000KUHFGM
guest
@mrs.hopscotch
At what age was the nanny letting baby H cio for naps?
guest
@ mrs.hopscotch
@ mrs.hopscotch
Once you started sleep training, if baby H fell asleep while nursing during the night did you try and wake her up some before seting her back down again?
blogger / apricot / 366 posts
@karen: I did not wake her up at night if she fell asleep while nursing. However, she was sleeping through the night at 12 weeks (7am-7pm) so we never had to sleep train at night. Often she would fall asleep while nursing right before bedtime, then I’d just put her in the crib for the night. That’s not what you’re “supposed” to do (i.e. let nurse to sleep) but it worked for us so I went with it!
guest
Thanks, my son’s is just 7 weeks so I’ll post again when we start sleep training in a couple of months and how it went!