Hello, my name is Mrs. Cowgirl and I am a former pacifier addict.
The story goes that I from the time I was born until the time I was two and a half, I had a pacifier in my mouth any time I wasn’t eating. In fact, many of my baby pics feature me and my faithful pacifier. This was way before those fancy clips, so my parents tied my pacifier on a Strawberry Shortcake shoelace and I wore it as a necklace every day. The story also goes that my parents tried really hard to break me of my pacifier addiction after I turned two. They tried hiding it; rubbing some hot sauce on it (apparently, that really backfired because I ended up loving hot sauce — still do!); telling me that I was a big girl and I didn’t need it, etc…all to no avail. When my parents planned a ski trip for our little family, they tried a new tactic. They told me I could leave the pacifier at home and join them, or keep it and stay with my grandparents for the weekend, because pacifiers were not allowed on the slopes. The final bit of the story goes that I chucked that pacifier on the ground and never looked back. And the pictures of two year-old me on skis make it seem like I never had any second thoughts.
Well, as fate would have it, I ended up with a little suck-addict myself. Except he sucks his fingers. And you can’t exactly leave fingers behind on a ski trip.
According to his foster mom, Lil’ CB sucked his middle and ring fingers on his right hand since he was a wee little thing. She told us that she tried to get him to stop, but she just couldn’t, those fingers would always find their way into his mouth. Some of the photos we received from Korea while we were waiting for him showed Lil’ CB in his finger-sucking glory:
Lil’ CB at 7 months. Look at that little Chunk!
At first we thought it was really cute. I would say, “Aww, it’s like he’s signing ‘I love you’!” or “Look, it’s almost like he’s saying ‘Rock on’!” And in addition to being cute, it was actually quite functional for Lil’ CB to suck his fingers because it helped him self-soothe and put himself to sleep, which was extra helpful when he was grieving and we were transitioning home.
But as Lil’ CB grew older and became more active, I felt it necessary to try and wean him off his fingers for a number of reasons:
1. Hygiene: it just wasn’t sanitary to have his fingers in and out of his mouth, especially given all the things he was touching throughout the day whether we were at home or at the playground or at the mall…yuck! And, since Lil’ CB exclusively sucks his right fingers and also shows right-hand dominance, he was literally touching EVERYTHING with those fingers.
2. The Need for Orthodontia: Cha-ching! I could just hear the bills for braces stacking up. And I could start to see the shift in Lil’ CB’s teeth from sucking his fingers. A dentist friend of ours actually told us that if Lil’ CB was going to suck his fingers, it was good thing he sucked the ones he did. According to him, the middle and ring fingers are the least “offensive” fingers to the hard palate and roof of your mouth; the most offensive being the index finger pointed upwards, followed by the thumb. A mild yay to Lil’ CB for not sucking those fingers.
3. Smelly and Scraggly Fingers: You can imagine what fingers that have been in and out of a toddler’s mouth smell like. If you can’t imagine, I’ll tell you: they smell FOUL. Plus, the nails on his middle and ring fingers became warped from the excessive sucking. Yuck and YUCK!
I started looking into ways and methods for helping Lil’ CB to stop sucking, and considered a few crazy ideas beyond just coaxing him with my sweet words (haha). A friend recommended this thumb-sucking deterrent that works like nail polish. I also found this wild Fingerguard contraption that was highly reviewed and recommended (albeit super pricey and nonreturnable) online:
I almost bought the deterrent treatment, but after talking with former thumb/finger suckers, I decided to steer away from heavily pushing the issue. Several friends told me that they hated being pressured to stop sucking their thumb or fingers and would hide and suck in secret well into their late elementary years even though they stopped sucking in front of their parents. They all shared fond memories of sucking their fingers and how soothing it was versus how traumatic it was when forced to stop. I also read in several places that many children stop sucking on their own by age 4, if not 5 (which seemed reasonably true considering I’ve only ever taught one student who still sucked her thumb in Kindergarten!).
Instead of trying to outright stop the finger sucking, we moved to trying to limit it, especially after Lil’ CB turned 3. We know that he still uses finger sucking to self-soothe and fall asleep, so he can suck his fingers in bed or when he’s tired. However, Lil’ CB will suck his fingers all the livelong day so long as his hands are not occupied. So, if he’s about to put those fingers in his mouth, we’ll try to distract him with something else to keep his hands busy. We’ve also told him that he can’t suck his fingers until after he’s washed his hands if he has been outside or playing with something messy. We’ve made some gradual progress and we’ll revisit the issue as necessary, but I really am hoping he’ll outgrow it himself within the next year…and then perhaps the nightmares of Lil’ CB sucking his fingers in his senior portraits will stop.
But, for now, he’s happy to keep on sucking.
Sucking his fingers and holding his lovey (so he can smell it) all with one hand so he can shield himself from the sun with the other.What can I say? He’s great at multitasking!
Is your LO a thumb or finger sucker? How do you feel about it?
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I was the worst thumb sucker ever. 4th grade. FOURTH GRADE! Maybe even fifth! I had a retainer because my overbite was so bad from thumb sucking and I popped that thing out to suck my thumb. My parents tried everything and it just made me want to suck my thumb more. I remember a kindergarten teach shaming me when I was in the first grade (she wasn’t my teacher anymore) and I still think she’s a b*tch. I’d be pissed if anyone did that to my child. I eventually gave it up on my own and I had a retainer and braces for years to get things straight in my mouth.
So as you can probably imagine, I was a paci pusher. I didn’t want my boy’s thumb in his mouth at all. For that reason, I don’t care if he has a paci til he’s 20, if he means he won’t have jacked-up teeth from his thumb. We limit it to sleeping so it’s only in the crib and car. I ask him to spit it into his crib every morning before he head out of the nursery. He usually throws it at me.
pomegranate / 3414 posts
DD sucks her thumb and we are limiting it to bedtime at 2 1/2. I’ve been pushing the paci on DS and so far (4m) he seems to be OK with that however he has on occasion been found sucking him thumb.
bananas / 9357 posts
I wasn’t a thumb or finger sucker, but I was a bottle nipper sucker. My mom told me she wasn’t very worried about it and knew I’d give it up before kindergarten. She was right. I stopped when I was four, but I did have to have braces and I wonder if that was the reason? My son used to take the paci and now wants nothing to do with it. He sucks on his hand a lot and I wonder if he will become a thumb or finger sucker.
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@Mrs. Stroller: Your whole response made me laugh out loud, from you saying you still think your teacher was a B to LO throwing the paci at you. All good stuff!
I don’t think that I was a finger sucker, but I agree that most kids just grow out of it. Hopefully, limiting it will help Lil’ CB naturally start weaning off of it. That brace thing is some crazy contraption! I’ve never seen or heard of that before!
clementine / 880 posts
I was a baaad thumb sucker – this is how my mom cured me:
She made a chart with 30 days on it – it was just a big calendar. Each day she drew a line so one half was “day” and the other was “night.” Each day I didn’t suck my thumb I got a sticker on the calendar, same for each night. Now, the night part was more tricky because I would self sooth and end up with my thumb in my mouth anyway, so she actually used ace bandages on my elbows and as I fell asleep my arm would get limp and the ace bandages would help bring my arm straight.
Then, at the end of the month I had a sticker on each day and night (she gave me stickers even if i “slipped” a little and still sucked) and at that point she proclaimed me as no longer being a thumb sucker and had a bit of a celebration for being done with it and being a big girl and I got to pick out a new toy.
It worked! Since I went through my last month of thumb sucking (with count downs – “only 10 more days that you’re a thumb sucker!”), after that was over I didn’t do it anymore!
—Turns out she may have tried this a bit late, because I did end up still needing orthodontic work (an “expander” because my palate had shaped around my thumb). Had she tried it earlier maybe I wouldn’t have needed it!
Good luck!!
coffee bean / 36 posts
I actually sucked the same two fingers, but on my left hand. Like stroller, the more people pushed the issue the more I wanted to do it. My mom set boundaries for me which worked out really well, i.e. I couldn’t suck my fingers at school. The more small boundaries she set the less frequently I relied on my fingers to soothe. I eventually grew out of it and never needed any dental work.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
My husband sucked his thumb until kindergarten. Our lo loves her thumb. She sucks it at bedtime and naptime, in the car and when she’s frustrated. Thankfully, she doesn’t suck it all the time yet and I’m hoping not to have to stop that habit, if it happens. We’re letting it go for now, she is only 7 months old….(we’ll re-address this when she’s older)
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I don’t think I was ever a sucker– at least I don’t remember it and I’ve never seen pictures of it– but I still needed braces very badly. I think a lot of kids need them no matter what– though of course, I’m sure the sucking doesn’t help and all that. Just saying– it’s not only because of sucking that most American kids end up in braces
GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts
LO was doing so well with her soother until she transitioned to sleep sacks from swaddles and started STTN, she then flat out refused her soother and was a thumb sucker :S I don’t love it, I tried like the dickens to keep her on the soother, but she would spit it our, or purse her lips. I’m just hoping nature will take hold of this one and she’ll grow out of it….. hoping!
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
My sister was a thumb sucker until she was around 10 years old. She did want to stop, but her thumb would find her mouth while she was sleeping. Also, that bitter stuff for the fingers didn’t work either – she just powered through until the bad taste was gone. In the end, what worked was my cousin’s brace from when he broke his thumb. She wore it for a few weeks and that broke the habit.
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@Mrs. Stroller: i totally laughed through that, too! and dude, that teacher was a jerk!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@Foodnerd81: totally agree. but i do think that thumb/finger sucking can lead to braces for longer periods of time. my cousin was a big time thumb-sucker and she ended up needing braces and other expanders, etc for 3 years (versus the year and a half i had) because her thumb-sucking really messed up the shape of her hard palate. i know lil’ CB will probably need orthodontia, so i’m just trying to reduce the the amount he’ll need!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@berdine: thanks for sharing! what a great idea!
pomelo / 5789 posts
Im not gonna lie – I sucked my index finger until I went to college. My roomie made fun of me so i stopped.
No orthodontic work needed
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
I sucked my thumb at bedtime until I was 10! I distinctly remember the night before my 10th birthday telling myself that I was done. No more. And I was! My mom never made a big deal out of it, either. I did have to have braces in high school, not sure if it’s related.
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
I sucked my index finger until kindergarden…I can’t remember how I stopped but it was almost as if I felt I was too big to do it.
My LO is a thumbsucker. She’s almost 18 months and sucks her thumb to self-soothe and sleep. During the day she’ll suck her thumb if she’s tired or fussy but not if she’s playing or whatnot.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
So funny how he still sucks those two fingers!!! So random!
My dd didnt have a paci and isn’t a finger sucker either.
No paci for DS .. Finger sucking is to be seen! Something tells me he won’t though
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
Noelle sucks those two exact same fingers too! I was also told they were the “least offensive”. I haven’t been too worried about it yet, but if she’s still sucking them at 3-4 years old, then I’ll revisit the issue! I’m hoping she just grows out of it on her own…
clementine / 961 posts
I sucked my fingers until the third grade! I did not give it up on my own my Mother had to hide my lovey. I only sucked my fingers when I had my lovey so with no lovey I stopped the sucking.
papaya / 10560 posts
DS is a thing sucker. He’s only 5 months and we, like you, thought it was so cute at first. Then his little thumb started to crack and bleed and now it breaks my heart! I feel like he’s too little to actually do anything about it.
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@Mrs. High Heels: CB is almost 3 and a half…we didn’t say anything about it to him until he turned 3 and we’re giving it until 4 until we put more boundaries on it. we’ll see how it goes!! good luck to your little finger sucker
honeydew / 7444 posts
Ahhh, i was just thinking about this recently. LO has been sucking those two exact fingers (but on her left hand) since about 3 months old. She doesn’t suck on them as much as before, but you can see how warped those two fingernails are…very flat, too!! I had no idea that it leads to needing orthodontics. I’ll probably let her continue since she finds so much comfort in it, but i will worry if it continues into pre-school age.
cherry / 119 posts
cute! and how funny- i did the same exact thing as your LO. i sucked my thumb and held the hand of my cabbage patch kid to my nose so i could smell it. my brother helped me kick the habit by leaving my cabbage patch kid at home when we went on a family vacation. i guess since i didn’t have my doll, i didn’t suck.
kiwi / 511 posts
When we brought our oldest home from Russia he (he was 18 months old) was not a finger sucker, but it developed shortly after he had been home with us. We took the route of ignore it or distract him and he would grow out of it and he has for the most part. He never did it at daycare but he would do it all the time at home, it was like he got home and that was the signal to put his fingers in his mouth (pointer and middle).
He has since stopped with a minor regression when his little brother was born and that was only for a few weeks. Right now he is 31 months and occasionally he has them in his mouth but he is usually biting on them and not sucking and I think his 2 year old molars are going up and down since they are not in yet and apparently can come in between the ages of 2-3. Usually when I see it I ask if he wants a frozen spoon and he says yes and will chomp on that instead.
The frozen spoon is an Ikea spoon that I keep in the freezer, he never liked any type of teething toy but he loves chomping on those spoons.
cherry / 226 posts
We were just talking about this. LO sucks index and thumb and holds lovey up to his nose with other hand. We loved it in the beginning since he was STTN at 3 months, but now it’s gross with him touching and eating. We wash hands all the time, but at daycare we have no control keeping hands clean. It’s funny when we tell him “no” for his behaviors, instead of crying he sucks.
mrs. CG, I had a ques for you, teacher ques…I have a student (kindergarten) whose family has a new baby and he now started thumb sucking the whole day in school. I haven’t made a big deal about it since I know it’s a big family change for him. Should I be concerned? Or you think it’s just that new baby and he is no longer the baby and perhaps is copying what he sees baby doing?
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@Teachermama: hmm…that’s tough! i think i might ask his parents whether or not he used to suck/still sucks his thumb at home. i’m wondering if it’s a soothing mechanism for him (and a regression) since he’s going through so much…i think if he was just copying, he wouldn’t do it all day because he wouldn’t be used to the taste and feel of thumb sucking and he’d have to try really hard to do it all day, you know? maybe you could give him a special “learning tool” to hold on to when his hands are idle so he doesn’t suck? like a squishy ball or some playdoh?
i always empathize with those kiddos because my sister was born when i was in first grade and i really hard time with the transition myself. i held it together for my parents and at school, but i distinctly remember struggling internally and being very emotional about the whole change! good luck!
honeydew / 7968 posts
My kids sucked it briefly when they first discovered their fingers, but they r more paci babies.
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
I’m late to this… but as you know, S is a thumb sucker. Considering our sleep issues, I’m not discouraging it… but I am nervous that he will never out grow it. Reading through the comments, I guess it’s a valid concern! I really hope he’s not that kid sitting at the kindergarten table sucking his thumb though!