It’s been very busy in the Jumper household lately. Papa Jumper is in the middle of writing a paper, I’m launching a new wedding collection, and a free night is something that hasn’t been available to us in what seems like months. I was on the phone with my photographer a few days ago, and after we’d gotten business out of the way, we were chatting about our lives, our husbands and our kids. Papa Jumper and I happened to have a date planned for that very night. I surprised him with dinner out, and even hired a sitter!!, to celebrate his accomplishment at work. My friend, who has two children of her own, told me that she and her husband schedule weekly dates because “dates are cheaper than divorce.” I laughed at the time, but what she said really struck a chord.
Are we headed for divorce? Absolutely not! But when’s the last time we had time for ourselves? Quite honestly, I can’t remember. Between his work schedule (that’s been unpredictable lately), my work schedule (that’s keeping me busy almost every day of the week), health issues (the three of us have been passing a cold back and forth) and the holidays, I can’t even think of when we could have possibly squeezed in a date. And between our hectic schedules and my mommy-guilt, we’ve certainly put our relationship on the back burner. So that night at dinner, we talked about setting aside more time for each other, and me becoming more used to the idea of not being super-mom. We’re excited to try new restaurants, go for walks at the park, or see a movie!
In order to make our monthly date night a reality, we had to come up with a plan:
Be realistic
We have fairly unpredictable schedules, so weekly dates aren’t in the cards for us. Monthly dates better suit our schedule.
Find a trustworthy babysitter
Last summer, we hired Nanny Jumper and sadly had to say goodbye to her as she went back to college in the fall. Her college is local and she decided to commute this semester, so she’s living close by again. She watched Chloe for us when we had date night a few days ago, and we were a little apprehensive since they hadn’t seen each other in a few months. We asked Nanny Jumper to come a half hour early so they could get re-acquainted with one another while Papa Jumper and I were still at home. It turns out that wasn’t the case at all, and Chloe remembered her instantly, but it did give us a bit of time to catch up with Nanny Jumper (and we missed her so much!!). The three of us talked when we got home from our date, and agreed to make date-night a more permanent arrangement.
Plan ahead
Date Nights for us won’t always be on the same day, or at the same time of day, but we always plan ahead. I make sure to write down a list of emergency numbers for Nanny Jumper, as well as our cell phone numbers (even though they’re programmed into her phone), as well as our address (in case she needs to call 911) and our pediatrician’s information. I also write down food preferences (lunch/dinner/snacks), and our bedtime routine (if she’s there at night). Can you tell I’m Type-A?
Ditch the mommy guilt
This one is really hard for me. As much as we want to, we try not to talk about Chloe while we’re out on our date. This is us time, after all! There’s nothing quite like uninterrupted adult conversation (and a glass of wine!).
How often do you go on dates?
pomegranate / 3414 posts
DH and I are going out for one tonight (a belated celebration of my birthday). We don’t do it nearly enough and are trying to plan it into the schedule more often. I too have mommy-guilt that has caused some riffs in our relationship so we are working through those. While we can’t do a date night every week either we’ve started setting aside 10min each night to just be “us” whether that be just sitting together or talking about something that is on our hearts/minds it seems to be helping keep us connected.
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
We have a date night on Saturday and then we are going away for the weekend in the end of February. We haven’t been away for the nigh in 2 years so it is going to be great! Usually we go out once a month.
kiwi / 640 posts
Great post! I think this is so important. We go out at least once a month (prob more like once every 3 weeks). We’re lucky that we have lots of family that is willing to babysit, so we don’t often have to pay a babysitter.
cherry / 187 posts
We’ve gone on a date night maybe 8 times since our daughter was born (almost 18 months now). It only happens when we have family in town. We desperately need a trustworthy babysitter as I’d like it to be more of a regular thing instead of begging for a night out when my mom comes into town!
persimmon / 1026 posts
We have a date night tonight and I’m really excited! We haven’t been able to spend time as just the two of us away from the home in at least a few months. We also have a local college student who sits for us, so I’d like to use her a lot more this semester.
When things were crazy around the holidays, we would do at home date nights and watch Modern Family and have a drink after LO went to bed but it’s not always the same!
GOLD / apricot / 315 posts
I am embarrassed to say how infrequently we actually go out on date nights. I think it’s a combination of not having found a good babysitter and also feeling bad going out without the kids when they are in daycare during the week. And now that we have a newborn, it’s even tougher…
I would like to get better about this though, even if it isn’t every week!
nectarine / 2504 posts
Great post! Sometimes we loose sight of important things. It’s time to schedule a date for DH and I
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
We’ve been really bad about this! We’re trying to rectify it here. But it’s so hard without a handful of babysitters. That said, we do have a couple lined up for the next few months! Let’s just hope illness or unexpected travel doesn’t kill our plans!
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I think I want to set something like this up with Mr. Polish. I find that I already feel some mommy guilt and our little one isn’t even here yet. Date night it is!
pomegranate / 3272 posts
We have had one date night since DS was born as we had a wedding to go to. I don’t know if that counts. The one thing I’m looking forward to is that my daycare does a date night once a month. For $40, they will watch the kids from 6pm-2am. I hope that we are able to take advantage of these every month!