According to psychologists, January 21st was the most depressing day of 2013: the chill, sludge, and post-holiday hangover is at its most intolerable then. I hit my low last week. Although I’ve never been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder, I am very prone to the “winter blues.” It usually hits me in February or March, at that point in the year when spring feels tantalizingly close, yet impossibly remote.
The winter blues are very frustrating for me. I am overwhelmed by a terrible nervous energy and an acute restlessness. I overeat (and eat poorly!), sleep in too late and stay up too late. I become extremely critical of my environment, and feel helpless to change it.
For many reasons, the winter blues hit me especially hard the last two years. Last year was the first winter I spent in a rural community, and it was a real gut check for me. I missed easy access to indoor activities and cultural events, and hated having to rely on my car. I was also in my first trimester of pregnancy. I was lucky to have minimal morning sickness; instead I just felt a bit low, fatigued, and nauseated all the time. I was averse to many healthful foods and bingeing on carbs, which contributed to my feeling sluggish. I spent a lot of my time sneaking naps in between classes and sleeping on the couch after work.
This year I spend the vast majority of my time at home with my 6 month old. And although his schedule allows me more flexibility time than when he was a newborn, I still fell prey to the winter blues this year. It feels so difficult to get Scribble out of the house, to pull on all of his winter gear. We live on a dangerous road that is not suitable for solo walks, so we don’t have much opportunity to be outside when the weather is chilly. When we are out for pleasure or errands, it feels like a marathon to get everything completed before Scribble becomes overtired and needs to go home.
It is amazing how the winter blues have eroded my satisfaction with stay-at-home-motherhood. Only a few weeks ago I would have said that I loved being an SAHM, but for the past few weeks I have doubted my commitment. I miss the structure of the workweek. As an SAHM it is so easy to let my mood dictate the pace of my day. And the daily commute– even on drizzly and cold days–at least puts me in touch with nature and the world outside my home.
I think of myself as a problem solver, so once I figured out that I was going through a bout of the winter blues, my first reaction was to Google the heck out of it and see if I could fix it. I ran into some tried-and-true advice: eat well, get outside when you can (even in less than ideal conditions), exercise.
For me, I’ve found relief in getting together with friends, keeping my house tidy so that the clutter of daily living doesn’t overwhelm, and being honest about my emotional state. Once I realized I was having a period of seasonal sadness, it was easy for me to identify my problem in my worst moments. At the same time, I also try not to dwell on the negative. So what if I’m having a bad day– or bad week? Such is life! Eventually spring will return, along with higher spirits!
As the often-repinned saying goes, “don’t let a bad day make you think you have a bad life.”
I wish I had a cure to share for how to shake the winter blues. Unfortunately, right now my main plan is to hope ardently for spring! Yesterday the gloomy skies lifted long enough for me to rake up the last of this winter’s dried leaves. It was so gratifying to spend time outside, work up a proper sweat, and clear away some of the dross of winter!
Do you fall prey to seasonal affective disorder, or even a mild case of spring fever? Does being an at-home parent contribute to your malcontent? How do you practice self-care when the weather is dismal?
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
Have you tried the super bright mood lights for SAD? You dit in front of them for 15 or 20 minutes at the beginning of yourcday to help with depression. I’ve heard great things about them.
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
Oh, I could have written this a year or two ago. Winter sucks, but you’re right that winter + rural living + baby sucks waaaay more. (I also feel you about living on a road where it’s impossible to get out for a walk — that used to be us, too).
I used a SAD light one winter with some success … other than that, trying to keep to a “schedule” (hard with a baby, I know) helps a bit. Does your kiddo nap OK in the car? Sometimes I’d just let him snooze and drive around, which meant I didn’t feel as much pressure to get stuff done so quickly when we were out.
The library is always good when you’re desperate, too. I know your LO can’t do much more than sit and paw at board books at 6 mos, but sometimes a change of scenery does wonders.
grapefruit / 4669 posts
I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced SAD–might not be possible here because it’s sunny and hot so often in the winter! But I have found that being cooped up in the house and not leaving makes me more prone to being anti-social and unhappy. Today I forced myself to get out and have lunch with a friend, and I feel like a new person!
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
Our first two months home with Lil’ Paintbrush were the rainiest on record. I think it rained for 30 something days STRAIGHT. (I’m not joking) So I totally get how weather + baby could impact your happiness. We used to go to the library too… and a local baby gym. Both were still indoors… but like Mrs. YoYo said… a change of scene!
clementine / 930 posts
When I first moved to be with my husband, I moved from a pretty active college town to a rural community with a house on another of those dreaded roads not suitable for walking. My whole first year was pretty rough, as I didn’t have mush in the way of friends. I’ve also now spent two winters unemployed, and my biggest advice is to find a winter hobby. Around here, that means snowmobiling, snowshoeing, ice fishing, or cross country skiing. I bought snowshoes, and while I haven’t been out this year since I’m pregnant, it’s nice to have something to look forward to that comes along with winter. If you we’re raking leaves, it sounds like you don’t get snow, but if you’re creative, I’m sure you can think of something you and the kiddo could do together.
persimmon / 1255 posts
Winter are always the hardest months when you’re a SAHM. I remember feeling a little isolated as well even though I didn’t live in a rural area and I know what you mean about the marathon re: outside trips. To eleviate the scheduling rush, I started to invite more people over to our house for playdates which was much easier logistically.
Hang in there. The sun will come out soon