Hellobee

It might be the fact that I’ve moved south but my new favorite thing to say is Son of a Biscuit!! Makes no sense but it’s fun to say. I like Oh my goodness better than oh my gosh, as well.

I can see how grody to the max would be hilarious to a kid and make adults laugh if a kid said it.

ETA: It sure was a good thing M wasn’t around when I got bit by those fire ants, though. I had the F word on repeat, quietly, but still on repeat.

HAHA I say oh my goodness a lot.
What the heck!

So the other day I said .. “What the… ” and M finished off my sentence by saying “HECK!” SO CUTE!

cracks me up..

I am a major potty mouth, and I have yet to really work on curtailing the swear words….this post made me laugh a lot.

Loving the Yo Mama! DH will likely teach our LOs some choice phrases too. I say Freak or Freakity Freak instead of the F word. What’s your substitute for the A word?

I work for an afterschool program, so my swear of choice is “Crudmonkeys.” Dropped paint on the floor? Crudmonkeys. Basketball to the head? Crudmonkeys. We had something delicious for snack and half the kids refused to eat it? Crudmonkeys.

“Son of a bee sting” is another favourite, as it “Shut the front door.”

I use “Shitake mushrooms” a lot! I, also, use “fiddlesticks” as a replacement for the f-bomb. My husband curses like a sailor, though, and our kids have heard more than their fair share of bad language. I am constantly pleading with my husband to find alternatives to his rather colorful vocabulary.

This is great. I swear a lot too, and i know i need to start finding alternatives.

Shiitake mushrooms is awesome! DH says fudge, but i feel odd using it too.

I say “son of a baconator” and “shut the front door.”

I’ve never heard of shitake mushrooms before, that’s a good one.

LMAO at the “yo mama” line. Oh Charlie… Hubby and I curse a lot so once I found out I was pregnant, I’ve been trying to nip it by staying oh my gosh or eff instead of the F word. I say crap instead of shiitake. Hubby still has a long way to go though… haha.

We replaced the b word with babies, e.g. “Babies be crazy!” ha

MOTHER FATHER!! is a good alternative to MF tho I have to admit I always forget to use it and just end up sort of flustered when I need to let off steam. I don’t swear much though. My husband has quite the colorful vocabulary and usually ends up pretending that he said some other word whenever my toddler repeats him. This cannot last forever.

Oh I forgot KELLY CLARKSON! LOL

Shut the front door is one of my favorites. I definitely need to clean up my language before kiddo gets here!

I say CRAP a lot. CRAP, CRAPPITY CRAP CRAP.

Ever since our son started saying “crap” a lot, I’ve had to tone it down. I explained to him that it’s not a nice word and that I was working hard to stop saying it. He asked what “crap” meant, and I explained it meant poo. A couple of days ago, he got frustrated with something and said… “oh poo… poopity poop poop”. Clearly he is my son.

hahaha I love this post!!

My parents are vehemently against cursing so even to this day I cannot curse around them and my husband is very offended by my potty mouth but I can’t help it! haha. I really need to be more disciplined now that J is learning words.

I definitely use Shiiiiiitake mushrooms A LOT. I think the “S” word has always been my word of choice – it is a really nice save!!

I usually use “wtf” in place of what the, but I definitely grew up saying What the heck so even as an adult that comes a little more naturally than the other way – which is nice! Another favorite is “What on God’s green earth…” And, “holy moses”, or as my husband might say, “holy cannoli!”

The other day DH had a driving issue and said “son of a b!$@#” and of course DS repeated it quickly. He practiced saying “sandwich” the rest of the drive to turn it around. Same with the F word. It is now “duck”.

As a former middle and high school teacher, I beg you, don’t say shiitake mushrooms! Your kids will repeat it and it’s the most annoying thing! I can’t count how many times a student would say, “Shiiiitttttttttt……ake mushrooms” at school. They think they’re being so clever and it drove me absolutely insane.

My favorite cursing replacement is something my mom always said when I was growing up: Instead of goddammit, she says “god bless america!”

For us “Damnit!” has become “Damage!” Lala loves it!

ahah, this is so funny! I never heard of Shitake Mushrooms. Will need to remember that!

I’ve never heard the shitake mushroom thing before!!

My mom wouldn’t let me say “what the heck”, or even the very innocent, “oh man!”. Gahhh…

I don’t curse too much in general. My fallback word is Crap, or sh*t if it’s something is particularly bad. I feel guilty using the F word, but typically say “what the freak”, haha

Ok…can you tell I am a middle school teacher?

Son of a biscuit.
Mother trucker.
Shut the front door.

Are these alternatives any better? I’m not saying I don’t swear, but I wonder if cleaning up your language is more than just changing the F to a D.

I have the same question about bleeping out music… I actually prefer unbleeped versions, but when they play the bleeped version on the radio, in the 90s, you’d actually hear a gap in the music where the swearing was. These days, there doesn’t even seem to be a gap at all and the swear word seems to still be there. Maybe my brain is filling in the gap for me?

Haha what a funny and great post! I teach little ones so curse words have to be permanently removed from my vocabulary at work. I have been around kids so long that I think it has affected my ability to curse. lol

Anyhow, the funny thing about cursing is that I spent a year in one of the program trying to teach my students not to curse. One of my three years old had a potty mouth and kept saying inappropriate words to other students. Long and behold, the rest of the students started saying it, too.

Haha, yo mama. That’s my DH’s come back for everything.

This is such a great post, and reminds me that I really need to work on curbing the cussing. I am a huge potty mouth…it’s terrible.

When I’m consciously thinking about it, my favorites are “Shut the front door,” “Holy Hannah,” and “What the eff.”

But I do agree with @sunny, too – is simply replacing the words all that much better? It’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to, and maybe that’s why I haven’t bothered to correct my language yet – I’m not really sure how I want to tackle it! I don’t really think I want to hear D say “Shut the front door!” to someone. He doesn’t know what it really means, but we do, and that just isn’t right coming from a child!

I say “MOTHER OF PEARL” all the time

Grody to the max reminds me of my older sister in the 80s – that was her signature line!

“Are these alternatives any better?”

@sunny: @littlebug: Good point!

My main goal is for the kids to learn to use language appropriately. I don’t mind if they swear with friends when they are older – but I don’t think it should be something they do in school, or when talking to a parent or teacher. So I just try and set a small example of that… we’ll see if it works!!

When I taught kindergarten, one of my students said “Oh tartar sauce!” which I think he got from Spongebob Squarepants. I thought that was hilarious – definitely one I’ll be pulling out to use around the kiddos.

Has it occurred to any of you that these substitutes are way more interesting and creative than the standard cuss words you are otherwise using? Someone who says “hot diggity dog” sounds like a much more intriguing person than one who uses the standard f-word. I’ve always thought cussing was the sign of a rather conventional person trying to sound cool. Kind of like a teenager smoking a cigarette.

No kiddos of my own yet, but I am a teacher and my students still remind me of the time I finished “Mother-” with “of pearl!” when the fire alarm went off in the middle of a test.

This post (And some of the responses!) have me laughing out loud! My little smartie has caught on to this, and calls me on it… or, says “Do you need me to leave the room so you can say what you wanna say?!” Sigh.

awww SHucks! I say that aLOT and am forcing myself to say that. Little one says it often too.

I’m rather late in commenting, but I had to throw this out there. I’m a massive star wars nerd, so I’ve been working on switching to star wars cuss words. “Blast”is a well-known one, but I saw “son of a sith” in one of the books recently and I love it!

Between my husband & I, I definitely have the more colorful vocabulary. I can control it usually in normal conversation but if I’m angry or happen to stub my toe, for example, the curses flow! My DD is only 3 months old right now but I will need to clean it up soon!