Hindsight is 20/20, and I’ve learned a lot in the last 7 weeks that might have made my breastfeeding experience much more successful. While I still occasionally try to nurse, we’re pretty much a pumping exclusively and formula feeding family due to a variety of reasons, but primarily: (1) low supply, (2) inefficient nursers, (3) time required to breastfeed twins, supplement with a bottle of pumped milk or formula, and then pump for the next round, and (4) early worry about how much the babies were eating and how much weight they needed to gain. As a first-time mom, it’s hard to know what you should and shouldn’t do, what to fight for and when it’s right to give up a battle, but if I could go back and do it all over again, there are a few things I would do differently.
1. I would have pumped more often for longer periods in the first 2-3 weeks. From the night of delivery, I breastfed Lil’ Brother on the NICU’s schedule of eating every three hours. I wasn’t allowed to start nursing Big Brother until the next afternoon, but then I breastfed him on the same schedule. Lil’ Brother was a champ nurser, but Big Brother really struggled. At 36 weeks, he just still had a little bit of developing to do. It was about 2-3 weeks after delivery that he really started eating well. I thought that if I just nursed them every time that my supply would naturally increase as they became hungrier and started eating more. If I could go back, I would have pumped every single time after they ate, plus a couple extra times a day. Plus, they were so little, that they ate very little each, and I think I needed additional time pumping to cue my body up for feeding two babies. I also had no idea how long I should be pumping when I did pump, so I would only pump for 5-10 minutes before my milk came in. After my milk came in around day 5, I only pumped until the milk stopped flowing. Now I know it would have been better for me to try to pump at least 15-20 minutes each time. I definitely should have been pumping for at least a few minutes after my breast was empty to signal my body to up production. The boys were only nursing for a very short period of time, and the doctors wanted us to supplement, which decreased the time the boys would have nursed even more. In my ignorance, I didn’t realize how important it would be for me to pump, pump, pump to jump start my body to produce lots of milk because by the time they came home with us, they were wanting to eat far more combined than my body was producing.
2. I would have further questioned the doctor’s recommendation to supplement. The boys were born at just over 4 pounds and just under 6 pounds. I delivered at 8:30 p.m., and at rounds the next morning at about 10:00 a.m., the doctor said she wanted us to supplement with either formula or donated breast milk. At the time, I was so distraught about my little boys not being okay and so worried about them, that I would have agreed to pretty much anything. I was definitely not confident enough in the way breastfeeding works, what is “normal” for newborns, and how my boys would do health wise to stand up for my desire to breastfeed exclusively. I understand that the doctor was likely concerned because they were small, especially Lil’ Brother, but they were already on PTN (nutrition through their IVs) and they hadn’t had a chance at all to nurse and see how they would do. While I realize neither boy had a lot of weight to lose, I wish I would have asked more questions about why they wanted us to start supplementing so early, and why we couldn’t give breastfeeding exclusively a chance since they were 36-week babies and were only admitted for relatively minor issues. I am not saying I would have refused to supplement, but I wish I would have fought that battle more than I did because once you start supplementing it’s hard to ever wean off of it. You supplement because they are still hungry, which means that they aren’t nursing the full amount of time they need, which means your body doesn’t produce as much, which brings you back to needing to supplement. It’s kind of a vicious cycle.
3. I would never have started using a nipple shield with Lil’ Brother. Big Brother really struggled with eating, and I have no regrets about using a nipple shield with him. He had a hard time latching, a hard time sucking for more than a few seconds, and a hard time gaining weight as a result. A nipple shield is great for babies with latch issues and it can be great for preemies because babies can get more milk while burning less calories. Lil’ Brother, however, latched on the first time and never looked back. He was always ravenously hungry and would nurse happily. Further, unlike most newborns, Lil’ Brother gained weight every day for the first 5 days. He finally managed to lose weight on Day 6, but then went back to gaining the next day. Initially, the hospital lactation consultants recommended I try a nipple shield with Lil’ Brother to save him from burning extra calories. I half-heartedly tried, but he wasn’t having any of it. I kept nursing, and he kept gaining weight. Every time a LC would come by, they would ask if I had tried a nipple shield with Lil’ Brother. Finally, one offered to “help” me teach him to use the nipple shield, and I just gave in and said okay. She assured me that he wouldn’t have any trouble transitioning back when he was little bigger because he didn’t have a latching issue. That was the beginning of the end for Lil’ Brother being my champ eater. He adapted to the nipple shield and quickly began to refuse nursing without the shield. Between the lack of effort required by the nipple shield and using bottles multiple times a day for supplementing, Lil’ Brother has become a very inefficient eater when he’s breastfeeding. He also gets extremely frustrated when the letdown slows and he has to work more to get his dinner. Of all my mistakes, this one irritates me the most. I had a newborn baby who latched fine and was gaining weight every day since birth, and I let someone convince me to introduce something into the mix that wasn’t necessary and at least partially led to Lil’ Brother having a lot of struggles with breastfeeding and added inconvenience to the process.
Breastfeeding and parenting are on-the-job training, and if we ever have another child, I’ll be more much more confident in my ability to decide what is right for my children and more knowledgable about what I need to do to be more successful in this area. Sometimes, I wish I could go back and do it all over again, but at the end of the day, I have healthy, happy, growing baby boys, and that means we surely must be doing something right!
If you could go back and start over on breastfeeding your LO, would you do anything differently?
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
It’s been 7 weeks already?! Holy cow!!
Bullet point #1 was really informative for me. Thanks for sharing!!! I’m filled with questions about pumping and BF, and your advice really resonated with me.
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
Good job for doing what’s best for your babies and reflecting on what you’d like to do differently next time.
I never supplemented, even though Liam’s first pediatrician suggested it, and I’m really glad I stuck to my guns. Next time I will pump more, though, because I know a bigger freezer stash makes going back to work so much easier and less stressful. I also hope it isn’t as painful next time so I can enjoy the early weeks a little more.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
whew! Give yourself a pat on the back for attempting to BF twins! I think a lot of first time moms would have given up.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I would have seen a lactation consultant before I allowed my doctor to push formula on me. I would have given her pumped milk instead. I still can’t believe he told me my milk wasn’t caloric enough. But when you’re sitting there with a baby that is losing weight, what can you do but trust your doctor??
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
I wouldn’t have let the nurse in recovery give me a syringe full of formula – she was frustrated I wanted to breastfeed straight after my c-section and told me I wouldn’t have any colustrum (actually I did!) and I was lucky I had a good nurse like her to give me formula. At the time I thought she must be right. Now I’d like to kick her ass, ha ha.
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@Alivoo01: The days go by SO fast…and the nights go by SO slow!
I don’t know if pumping extra would be helpful for everyone, but I will definitely do that next time, even for just one baby. Having a stash of milk would be so awesome! No matter how much you prepare there will always be questions that arise. I swear I spent the first 4 weeks reading everything on Kelly Mom.
@mrs. tictactoe: I am so very envious when people talk about a big freezer stash. I cannot even imagine how stress-reducing that would be!
@kml636: thanks! It’s definitely a commitment.
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
Pretty much the same for me! I wish they wouldn’t have pushed formula so quickly (before we even left the hospital!!!!) and that would have meant I would have nursed more frequently instead of getting freaked out, fed up, and gave baby lots of formula while I tried to rest, recover, and regain my sanity.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
For some reason I had a sneaking suspicion I would have a baby with food allergies (despite the fact that no one in my family has them) and it turns out that I did. I wish I would have trusted my instincts and gone on an elimination diet BEFORE she was born. I ended up wasting so much of my maternity leave trying to get everything out of my system that was bothering her and not being able to pump during that time because the milk would essentially be “tainted” with her allergens and unusable anyway. So I ended up not having nearly the freezer stash I hoped for and now that I’m back at work and having some supply issues I wish I had a larger stash to help remove some of the stress. More Milk Plus really helps me with the supply but I think it was causing additional tummy issues for LO so I have given it up for now.
grapefruit / 4717 posts
Thank you so much for sharing this. I can’t even imagine breastfeeding twins, as it has been hard enough with just 1! Good for you for revisiting what you would do differently next time — it sounds like your experience really sums up why so many babies end up on formula in or right out of the hospital. Hopefully it will help soon-to-be moms know how to advocate for themselves while in such a vulnerable position. Great going keeping up pumping for 2 even this long. Cheers.
grapefruit / 4669 posts
Wow…all I can say is, you’re amazing!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
You are doing great! Happy healthy growing boys is all that matters. Breastfeeding twins is not easy. Do what you can and don’t feel guilty about what you can’t. Again, you are doing great!!
cherry / 248 posts
You are doing great! Twins are a lot of work, I know I have identical twin boys who will be three next month. I tried to breastfeed and my boys never latched well and I ended up pumping. Trying to latch them, weighing them after each feeding combined with all the hormones and new mom uncertainty was overwhelming. I just had my daughter and this time around it was all so much easier. Happy, healthy babies and mom is what matters!
pea / 13 posts
Thank you so much for your detailed explanations. It really helps to be armed with your advice if anyone in the hospital tries to push formula on us.
papaya / 10560 posts
I am so with you on pumping more earlier! i didn’t rent a pump until it was almost time for me to go back to work because i couldn’t figure out how to pump and nurse on demand. what a disaster…i definitely would have pumped earlier if i had the know-how and support!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
it sounds like you are doing an amazing job with them, and they are growing so beautifully! i can’t imagine being a mom to twins, you are amazing… it is already hard enough trying to learn the breastfeeding dance with one.
with my daughter, they tried to push formula on us in the hospital because she was slightly jaundiced. because i had a doula, she acted as our advocate and gave me the confidence to refuse the formula even though i was faced with a lot of pressure to go that route. they really wanted to measure her intake, so i insisted on pumping. my doula and my bradley classes taught me so much about colostrum and how it was more than sufficient for their tiny newborn tummies, so it made me less worried about how much i was pumping out (quality over quantity!). i just tracked diapers to make sure she was pooping/peeing regularly.
i’m so so thankful that i had a voice by my side to help me stand firm and push back. i think i would’ve caved as a first time mom without my doula because i would’ve just trusted whatever the medical professionals wanted.
it still surprises me that hospitals offer formula so easily for every little thing. i’m sorry you had to experience that too.
guest
It seems your lactation consultants really let you down. (The nipple shield issue in particular blows my mind). My baby was born the same week as yours were. He was also tiny, an inefficient eater and had big weight loss problems. When my pediatrician told us to start supplementing the first week, I called a lactation consultant and they had me start pumping and then feeding my pumped milk with a syringe. Our hospital’s LCs tell all preemie moms to pump after each feed to build a supply until the babies are strong enough to demand it. He was exactly 37 weeks -if he was born a day earlier and they would have sent me home on that regimen. It was exhausting! I’m amazed you were able to do it with twins! I’m sure they are thriving no matter what they eat and it seems you have built confidence in your mothering skills for the future.
grapefruit / 4291 posts
That’s awesome that your little guys are thriving!
Just a question but have you tried to nurse recently? I know for me that breastfeeding got so much easier once A got bigger!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@Kemma: I try to nurse them 1-2 times a day to see if they get better at it and to make me feel less like a dairy cow that is hooked to milking machines all the time.
They seem to be doing somewhat better, although they get frustrated easily now. I think not having enough milk is part of it and part of it is that they just aren’t very efficient at getting it out. I’ll keep trying, though with my supply issues, I don’t think I would ever be able to even feed them one complete meal. If they were more efficient, though, I could feed one of them conpletely while the other one had a bottle and then rotate the next time around.
grapefruit / 4291 posts
@Mrs. Blue: That’s neat that you’re still doing some nursing, I hope that with your little guys getting more efficient the increased suckling / demand will mean increased supply!
pomelo / 5628 posts
I’ve heard so many people say that a nurse or lc told them not to pump and it’s complete craziness! Pumping after they eat would definitely boost supply and it sucks that it’s so hard to know that ahead of time.
You’ve done a great job, especially continuing to pump with twins. That’s hard work!
pomegranate / 3401 posts
Thanks for sharing this post! I’m reading this at the perfect time because I am SO FRUSTRATED with BF. My little one was born at 30 weeks and spent the first 57 days in the NICU. I pumped every 3 hours RELIGIOUSLY to supply her with breast milk (that was fed to her via tube at first, then via bottle). As she got bigger, I would go to the NICU and breastfeed her a couple times a day. I always suspected I was a low producer (could never get more than 6 oz from both breasts total each pump) and we began to have to supplement her with Neosure on the recommendation of the doctor. I don’t want her to starve, but it sort of breaks my heart having to give her formula.
Everyone kept saying it was temporary though, that once she was home with me, my milk supply would increase because I would be nursing ALL THE TIME. Well, that hasn’t really happened. I obviously nurse a lot more (basically every feeding, for as long as she wants) but she was not gaining weight the way she should so she’s back on formula supplementation. Sigh. I think what’s the most disappointing is that I thought BF would be so instinctual and easy and it’s really been a challenge for me. Sorry for the rambling response!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@Ginabean3: I completely understand! I think that probably most moms of preemies have a similar struggle. We need our babies to gain weight, so we get pushed to supplement (often, rightly so), but it’s hard to come to terms with. I really struggled with feeling like I was a failure because I was having to give them south Neosure. Finally, one of my friends told me, “This is not the hill you die on.” For some reason, that finally clicked for me and I realized that BFing didn’t have to be my final stand; I just need to do as much as I can for them and be happy that they are doing so great on their combined breastmilk/formula diet. Hang in there! The fact that you are pumping that much after having such a long NICU stay is fantastic. If it’s any encouragement, I’ve never pumped 6 oz combined.
pomegranate / 3401 posts
@Mrs. Blue: Thanks for the encouragement Mrs. Blue! Also, I noticed I had a typo….I never pumped more than 2 oz combined, not 6 oz…that’s just wishful thinking/typing on my part.
And you’re right, I just need to think back to the early days when all I really cared about was my little one THRIVING….back then, I could have cared less what they gave her as long as she was growing and surviving.