When I became a mom for the first time, Hellobee didn’t exist yet. I found out about Hellobee because I was a lurker on Mrs. Bee’s personal blog, and she shared that she would be launching it in beta soon. As soon as it launched, I requested an invitation and signed up. My daughter was already 7-months old then (I only remember this because I wanted to apply to be a blogger, but Mrs. Bee was only looking for parents with babies 6-months and under at the time).
I navigated through the newborn stage as a first time mom very much alone. I was the first of my friends to have a baby (I’m now on my 2nd, and they still aren’t ready for any), so I didn’t have any mom friends to turn to. The moms I did know had school-aged children much older in age; they had already put the newborn stage well behind them. Because I’m an avid researcher, as I assume many of you are, I was able to murk my way through motherhood with the help of parenting books and Google. Still, there was so much I didn’t know until Hellobee! I’m still learning new things every day as a second time mom.
Some things I’ve learned through Hellobee:
- That it’s not recommended to put a carseat on top of a shopping cart. I remember doing this when I went grocery shopping with Noelle the first time. She had fallen asleep in the carseat so I didn’t want to wake her and put her in the carrier. I genuinely thought it was ok to put her carseat on top of the shopping cart as I had seen so many others do it when I was single.
ADVERTISEMENT - When to pump. I’m learning all this now as a second-time mom! I hardly pumped at all with my first and didn’t think to build a stash because I just didn’t know how to begin. It seemed like Noelle was nursing every other hour, and I was scared that I would pump out all the milk and she would wake up 5-minutes later to an empty breast… so I just didn’t do it.
- That breastfed babies don’t necessarily increase their quantity of milk as they age, but that it’s the quality and composition of milk that changes to provide for their increased needs. When Noelle was 10-months old, I started supplementing with Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle because I was “only” producing 4-5 ounces each pump session and barely able to match her intake without being able to store up any extra. I was frustrated with myself when I had no reason to be. Knowing this bit of information could’ve saved me some unnecessary stress and prolonged our breastfeeding relationship.
- That it’s completely NORMAL for babies to go only 1.5-2 hours between feedings for the first several months. All the sleep books and websites I read kept saying that babies should go 3-hours between feedings and I was never able to get her there. After talking about it with my February 2013 mama’s, it seems eating every 2-hours is the norm and not the exception! If I had known that I would’ve cut myself and my baby some slack. Here I was, thinking I had a more high-needs, difficult baby when she was just being a normal newborn.
There’s so much more I didn’t know and continue to learn, but if I wrote it all out this post would take all day!
I still have some mommy guilt about the mistakes I made and could’ve remedied had I known then what I know now. My biggest regret is probably cutting my breastfeeding relationship with Noelle short because I thought I was “low on supply” when that wasn’t the case at all (see bullet-point #3)!
Hearing first-hand experiences from other moms here on the ‘bee has made a huge difference in how I parent, and what I choose to worry about. The advice given by fellow bees has been invaluable and I am forever grateful to this site and the things I continue to learn here. If I had known then what I know now, I could’ve saved myself months of stress, especially as a lost, confused, and lonely first-time mom.
What have you learned on Hellobee and has it changed how you parent?
honeydew / 7504 posts
Oh gosh, like you, it would take me days to write out what I’ve learned here! This blog has been an invaluable resource throughout pregnancy and now in navigating the waters of having an actual human being to take care of! I tell everyone I know about it!
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
What are the best posts on when to pump? When I was pumping with Aliya, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, and like you was scared to pump b/c I didn’t want to drain myself dry and have nothing for nursing sessions! I’ll need to learn this for the next one. Maybe I’ll be asking you all the questions!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@Mrs Checkers: I found the tag for “pumping” on the blog page and started reading all those posts.
I also went to the boards page and went to category: parenting > board: pumping (you’ll see the dropdowns on the top of the boards page), and read through all the questions that seemed relevant to me.
I seriously learned SO MUCH. There’s a variance to what people do, but reading the comments gave me a complete picture of all the different approaches/methods and helped relieve the pressure to do things a certain way.
Lately, I’ve been reading anything tagged “toddler” or “tantrum”, haha!
persimmon / 1472 posts
I really honestly don’t know what I would have done without HB. I joined as a beta member when I was pregnant with DD and sought out a lot of advice from fellow members on the boards. HB was my saving grace during the many hours nursing DD and my first place I went to when I had questions. The points you listed about breastfeeding knowledge is probably the most important part to me because I was also the first in our group of friends to have a child and intended on a long-term breastfeeding relationship. I had no one to turn to in real life and HB helped calm my fears.
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6703 posts
I joined when HB was in beta and I was going through a miscarriage. Having a group here to turn to, when people in real life didn’t really understand, it was invaluable. It was a place of support as we tried again, and it was an HB member who heard that we were pregnant before I even told DH. Since then we’ve weathered a high-risk pregnancy, a 38 hour labor that included an induction and an epidural, and the first 4 months of being a mom. I don’t know what I’d do without HB. Even DH will tell me to post something on here to get answers and advice.
GOLD / nectarine / 2884 posts
BLW for sure! And montessori at home stuff. It has really changed my perspective on parenting!
pineapple / 12053 posts
i feel like i learned everything on hellobee. not on how to parent, but to know that all of this stuff is normal!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
I’ve learned so much on Hellobee!
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
Oh man… there has been so much on here that I never knew! I especially love all the posts on montessori and education as well as food-related posts.
pomelo / 5628 posts
Just today I learned that my stroller carseat adapter is on wrong! So happy to know before something bad happens !
grapefruit / 4669 posts
I have learned…everything from the bee! So glad it exists.
pomegranate / 3401 posts
@Mrs Checkers: before I read this post I thought the same thing too! So scared to pump in case I pumped out all the milk and left nothing for the little one!
bananas / 9973 posts
I definitely think HB has helped me persevere on the BF’ing front and so many moms could benefit from the support and “real” info on here! I’ve heard the “I didn’t have enough milk after x-many months” reason for stopping BF’ing from a lot of moms. Maybe it’s true, maybe they had the same experience as you?