Cue the creepy music. There’s this horror movie that I used to love, The Ring, and the whole, “she never sleeps” line comes from that. This particular situation is pretty much equally as terrifying, from the standpoint of my entire life falling to shreds around me as I watch in stark terror. Am I being over-dramatic? Come see my house (messy) and ask Mr. T (grumpy). I think not.


She used to do this…

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Toddlers are supposed to sleep. Especially the kind who climbs on the furniture and does other stunts in an attempt to give you a premature heart attack on an hourly basis. It is the way that they are supposed to pay you back for all your vigilance (and keep you from actually having the heart attack). Everyone also knows that the parents of said toddlers are unable to do pretty much anything other than Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin-style child wrangling any time their kids are awake, so their sleeping time is when things get done. And by done I sometimes mean sitting on the sofa eating a chocolate bar and taking deep breaths, and I also sometimes mean running around the house like a madperson cleaning and tidying every available surface because it might be several weeks before the opportunity comes again.


Now we’re seeing lots more of this

What happened at our house? Lorelei has dropped to one nap. Before she actually did it, I thought the angels would sing and the heavens would open, and my life would feel gloriously free as Ellie and Lorelei and I went on marvelous adventures based entirely around the new single-nap schedule. Instead, I’m pretty sure that there was this strange ominous music playing when she would fight the first nap of the day. I chalked it up to an overactive imagination. In reality it was nature warning me that this was going to be bad. Epically bad. Completely singing-angel-free.


We thought we’d be seeing more time for this!

So now, she naps in the afternoon from 1-3pm. Good, right? Wrong. Her 7:30 bedtime has changed into a 9pm bedtime. She wakes up at the same time in the morning as she always used to (6am). Um… that’s not really enough sleep. It is a grand total of 11 hours. She should be sleeping that much just at night. And of course I am already terrified that her brain chemistry will be forever altered in some awful sort of way from being chronically sleep deprived as a baby. Trust me when I say that that is one topic you do not want to Google if you are in this sort of a predicament. I still try to put her to sleep at 7:30, but she will have none of it. She simply isn’t tired yet. And now whoever has to stay awake with her (usually me, by choice) is generally super grumpy because several formerly productive (and sometimes even relaxing) daylight hours have just vanished like a magic trick that is in really poor taste. Like, if it really were a magic trick I would wish a painful death on that particular magician.

Assuming that this really is our new normal, I know we will eventually adjust. We might be a little more short on “free time,” and Mr. T and I might not get much time together to just enjoy one another’s company, but we will work it out. I am hoping our budget is stretchy enough to hire someone to come in and clean while I play Steve Irwin; but if it’s not, a messy house never actually killed anyone (I know this, because it was another thing I Googled!). There is also the possibility of showing Ellie pictures of all the poor children working in mines and doing other hard labor in ye olden days and telling her that we are going to play 1800s and she can do all the chores while I make sure Lorelei doesn’t launch herself off of a high surface (kidding! very kidding!). But if anyone can tell me that we will survive this, that would be great. Anyone else with me on night duty? You can come over later, but I don’t promise to be completely awake.