I tend to tell friends who don’t have children that there are two types of parents: “schedule people” and “non-schedule people.” Whether or not this is 100% accurate, it’s definitely how Mr. H and I view parenting these days, and we are most definitely “schedule people.”
I sometimes wish that we were more relaxed about things. We see other families out and about in our neighborhood around 7:30/8:00pm with LOs around Miss H’s age, and we can’t believe they are out. “Craziness!” we think to ourselves, “When exactly does that baby go to bed?!” I want to clarify that we’re definitely not judging other parents and when they choose to put their children to bed. In truth, I think it makes us a little bit nervous. We don’t quite understand how that works – are they out that late every night? Or is bedtime different every night? How do you plan for different changes in schedule and what do you do if you’re out and about and baby has an meltdown of epic proportions? How does this work?! Our brains literally can’t process the uncertainty of it all!
Stay up past 7:00pm? Oh the horror!
Our routine is one that I think Miss H has grown to crave as much as we do. When she starts tiring out in late afternoon, she’ll start to sing “night night.” She knows it’s almost time. When I put her in her crib after a few stories and a song, she almost seems relieved to be in there. It’s time to sleep!
I try not to take our schedule for granted. As we’re entering toddlerhood I know that sleep can get completely out of whack and we should be prepared for anything and everything. I also know that while our nightly routine and strict schedule probably helps things, I also understand that Miss H is probably just a good sleeper, that it’s as much her and how she’s meant to be as it is our influence over her schedule. She simply likes to sleep and enjoys her 7pm-7am snoozes!
We could probably live on the edge a little bit – go out for an early dinner or a late trip to the park now that summer is here. But that would mean jeopardizing the system that works so well for us. Right now Miss H isn’t showing any signs of needing her evening schedule to change. She’s definitely tired by the time 6:30pm rolls around and she rarely fusses when she’s goes into her crib. She sleeps through the night perfectly and pops her head up happily when I go in her room around 6:45am/7:00am each morning. So for the time being we will continue to live in our scheduled little world and stick with the early bedtime. We may not have as much fun with our little schedule, but I’ll trade fun for sleep any day of the week!
Are you a “schedule person” or a “non-schedule person?” Do you feel like schedules dramatically impact bedtime?
pomegranate / 3516 posts
I am a total schedule person. LO likes to vary her nap times and it drives me nuts. I’m trying to go to play groups but I have a hard time planning when we can go. She’s also never been great at staying up past her bedtime. Everyone thought we were nuts when she would go to bed at 6 that we wouldn’t go anywhere past 5 or so. We’ve become a little more relaxed (at 10.5 months) in that we put her down between 7:15 and 8 but we won’t stay out past that. And I’m pretty strict about her dinner time (breakfast and lunch vary with when she wakes up and naps). I do wish we could be a lot more relaxed like others we know though but I think a big part of it is that LO isn’t okay with it when we alter things too much.
honeydew / 7091 posts
We’re schedule people, although I don’t really want to be. I would love to be able to be spontaneous and do whatever we want and have DD good with that. I’m a little too scared of messing up a good thing though, and since her sleep is so good, I’m not quite ready to risk it!
pomegranate / 3414 posts
We are definitely “schedule people.” When DD was little we made a point to have her in bed no later than 7:30; we are a little more lax with DS in that it is more a range of between 7-7:30. DH was actually just commenting the other night about our neighbors who were outside on their patio with this 18m son at about 8:30 at night. I had to remind him that it isn’t his place to question other parents choices because he doesn’t know their situations. For example our other neighbor is a WAHM and her kids sleep 12AM-12PM so that she can work in the morning.
persimmon / 1379 posts
I am absolutely, 100% a schedule person.
I don’t even like the idea of waking up in the morning without knowing, more or less, what the day will hold, in 15 minute intervals
coconut / 8305 posts
I was a total schedule person with G up until he was already in school! I was crazy about bedtimes & routine…… now I’m not a schedule person. I think going for breastfeeding long term really changed it for me b/c schedules & breastfeeding on demand don’t really work… also DH’s schedule means he isn’t home until after 7 on work nights, I was tired of missing church on Wednesdays, and family dinner time is a must for our home so bedtimes all around are now later. We have a bedtime “range” now & that seems to work for meeting all of our needs, not just the sleep ones.
grapefruit / 4671 posts
I guess we are somewhat schedule people? We stick to bathtime at 7.00pm and bed right after. I may be flexible if we are at a wedding or something but 99% of the time we stick to our routine.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I just want to hug you. I could have written those exact words. We are schedule people. It works for us, it works for our daughter. We see our neighbors outside until dark with their 1.5 and 4 year olds and just don’t understand it.
M goes to sleep between 6:30 and 7 every single night. She is only up later if she is sick or something is really wrong. My parents thought we were crazy at first but then they just let it go. She still wakes up once or twice a night but at least I know in keeping with the schedule, I’m not *causing* the wakeups because we’re putting her in her crib too early or too late.
My husband has thanked me a few times over the past 9 months or so (we started her schedule at 3 months) just saying how happy he is that we have a routine, stick with it and it works for us. The best thing? We know we can have “us” time at the same time every single night!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I am not a schedule person (we occasionally miss bedtime and naps) and I haven’t seen any impact on my older daughter’s night time sleep. I hope our baby will be as flexible but I doubt it!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I am a schedule person, and DH even more than I! J actually does really well if he has to stay up later than bedtime (which is around 8pm), but we prefer him to stay on a strict schedule partly for our sanity too! We don’t mind car naps once a week or so, so in that way we’re more lenient. But for bedtime we’re always home by bedtime.
We have a great evening schedule that works for us – 6:30 dinner, 7pm bath, 7:30 in bed.
honeydew / 7504 posts
We are loose schedulers. D goes to bed at approximately the same time every night, but it’s definitely not set in stone. One night it might be 7:30, the next it might be 8. We go by his tired cues, mostly. When he starts yawning and rubbing his eyes, it’s time to go upstairs. As he gets his bedtime lotion massage and lullaby, his eyes are getting heavy and he’s smacking his lips, knowing that bedtime feeding is coming and it’s time to go to sleep. He goes down easily most nights. Thankfully, I think he’s just naturally a good sleeper!
blogger / apricot / 424 posts
I could of written this exact post! We are schedule people through and through.
Do you ever get the “but how do you do anything opinion from people? I hear all the time that I should be teaching little miss to sleep on the go but I love what we have going and I have no intention of messing with the lovely routine we have going.
pear / 1998 posts
No kids yet, but DH’s extended family are very much schedule families. All of our get-together are planned around the babies/toddler schedules. To be honest, it is a struggle and sometimes frustrating but we understand it is what works best for their families.
Our close friends with kids still keep to a schedule, but are far more flexible. Their bedtimes are around 7, so if they are visiting and things wrap up around 6, they will ask to stay a bit longer so the kids will fall asleep at the right time on the way home. They also will skip naps on occasion or let the kids nap in different places or on the go.
I know all babies are different, but I hope that when we are parents we can be a bit more “go with the flow”.
grapefruit / 4400 posts
We’re sort of in between– on most nights, we’re schedule people (but even then, the bedtime routine can start anywhere between 6:30p and 7:30p), but if there is an important event, we will sacrifice her bedtime to stay out a little later. She STILL isn’t STTN (at almost 11 months!) so I guess it’s not as major to us since she’ll wake up 2-3x anyway.
I heard that the schedules usually go out the window once you have 2+ (especially nap schedules).
guest
Personally, I’m a big fan of schedules. I need to have a plan, I need structure. With our son though, we have a loose structure. We do basically the same things every day around the same time but pretty lax about it.
I love the rug in the picture- I went to buy it but it was sold out!
grapefruit / 4800 posts
I’m the opposite, schedules make me panic and I don’t think would make us happy. But with #2 on the way I have a feeling having more of a schedule will make our lives easier with two, ack.
pineapple / 12053 posts
we are definitely not schedule people. we love routine, but going by time doesn’t work for us. we don’t have family nearby to watch R and while our lives have definitely changed since having her, she go by the mantra that she’s in our family and we set the rules. that being said, she’s a really freaking easy baby and totally flexible. if she’s exhausted, she’ll suck on her hand and take a cat nap on whoever is holding her. she likes to party when people are around and will go to bed happily when we get to her cosleeper. i know it won’t always be this way and our subsequent kids might not be as flexible, but it totally works for us. i think that’s seriously the most important thing!
guest
totally not a schedule person. but i do believe you need to do what is right for your specific situation. He’s four years old now, and most of the time this works just fine, but there are days where we push it too far and everything gets out of whack. i also know FOR SURE ,t here are pros and cons to each way – being a working mom, i want all the extra time i can have with my boy, and this allows for it, but what I dont get is time to myself when he goes to bed, b/c its later, which means i’m usually pretty spent by the time he is!
cherry / 155 posts
Same schedule as you! Maybe 15 minutes later since my LO eats dinner @6 every night.
In his crib by 7:30. It really works for us and why mess with a great thing??
Mostly I wanted to say that I love your rug!! So cute. And it matches your name!
honeydew / 7283 posts
We are definitely a schedule family. M naps at 9 and 2 and goes to bed between 6:30 and 7. Live by the schedule, die by the schedule! I never thought I would be the person turning down invitations in favor of naps, but here we are.
The funny thing is that when M is with her babysitter (1-2 days / week) her nap schedule is totally different. I tried to have her do the same schedule (mostly for the sitter’s sake), but I’m sure it’s difficult because she is taking care of her kids too. Somehow M transitions back and forth relatively seamlessly. I would imagine that having more than one child would make our strict schedule more difficult, but it works for us for now!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
we’re semi-schedule people.
granted, lil’ CB is 3.5, but i think even when he was younger, we were a little flexible. we definitely had a bedtime and a routine, but if we were out, we were okay putting him down at a friend’s house (we did this regularly for a weeknight bible study that met in the evening) or having him fall asleep in the car — we often brought pajamas with us when we knew we’d be out around bedtime and were totally those parents changing him in the bathroom or in the car. this would happen maybe once or twice week, especially on weekends.
i think it’s helped Lil’ CB be more flexible with different situations, but it’s also one of those, “what came first, the chicken or the egg?” kind of situations: is he flexible because we didn’t always stick to his exact schedule or were we able to be flexible with his schedule because he’s a flexible kid? you know?
either way, whatever works for each family works!
pomegranate / 3314 posts
Totally, 100% a schedule person. I agree with others who say that once there is more than one LO in the picture it probably gets harder, but with G we are sticking with it. And if/when another LO comes along, we’ll deal with the changes then.
cantaloupe / 6687 posts
We have been schedule people since LO started SSTN around 3 months. She is very schedule orientedby nature (at play gym she comes to find me for a snack around the same time and comes to brig me her jacket and shoes to go home…she knows it’s lunchtime). At bedtime she starts saying “night night” to all her toys and if she is ready before us she will come over and tell us “hug” so we can pick her up and take her upstairs for bed.
It’s awesome for us bc any babysitter knows exactly what to do and we can leave her with a sitter at night and know she’s in bed by 7:30 and will stay alseep all night. My husband and I love the alone time we get in the evenings and the freedom to go on dates easily.
It’s also nice traveling bc we just keep her on the same schedule (i.e. we do not adjust her to the local time) so it’s no problem coming home and getting back to our usual activities.
We have kept her out past bedtime a few times since she’s been born (parties for our friends’ kids that are older or special family functions) and she never melts down (our pediatrician says bc she’s well rested)…she just falls asleep on the drive home and we just change her into pjs when we get home and put her in her crib.
I can only hope and pray my next baby is naturally schedule oriented as well!
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
What happens when a schedule person marries a non-schedule person? At my urging, we try to follow a pretty tight routine, but on the weekends there’s way more flexibility. Mr. Tricycle is starting to get the hang of planning outings and activities between nap times, but sometimes he’s just too excited to wait, so we toss the schedule out the window and hope for the best.
guest
Wow! There are a lot more schedule people than I would have thought. We are SO not schedule people. I think I was before I met my husband but that was so long ago I barely remember it. We tend to go with the flow and when LO shows signs of being tired he goes down for a nap, etc. His bed time is sometime around 9 but some nights it’s 7:45 and some nights it’s 10:30. If he’s not tired, I’m not fighting him to stay in his crib cause he’ll just moan and fuss. It does mean some nights I go to bed right after he does, but since I work FT, it also means I get to see him more during the week than I would otherwise. I think our lives could probably benefit from a bit of scheduling but we’re good for now.
cherry / 168 posts
We’re flexible-schedule people. If we’re home and it’s a normal day, Ford has a set bed time. If something is going on, we never turn down an invitation. We’ll meet friends for dinner and be sure to have lots of snacks and toys. Likely, not every kid is this adaptable, but if there’s activity he’ll stay engaged and not meltdown.
GOLD / nectarine / 2884 posts
Wow, I’ve been putting together the opposite post! lol! I tried to be a schedule momma but it just didn’t happen! At first I worried that this made me abnormal, but over time I started to enjoy it. We are routine oriented, meaning DS gets two or three naps a day, is fed at certain junctures between naps. But the timing is frequently different and bedtime is completely variable! My parents were not schedulers either so I guess it is just a matter of what you’re used to and what your body accepts naturally!
pomegranate / 3890 posts
were totally not scheudule people
our baby is pretty flexible and rolls with it
guest
We’re also schedule-flexible. On normal days, we start bedtime routine the same time (give or take 10-15 minutes if necessary). But we made an effort to integrate her into our lives and keep our (relatively tame) social calendar with the intent that as soon as she seemed like she couldn’t deal with being out past her bedtime (difficulty falling asleep, meltdowns, etc) we would start sticking to a firmer schedule.
Right now, in an average week there might be 1 day where we have something to do that keeps her out past bedtime and so far she’s been great. Luckily we’ve been blessed with a good sleeper – she’s great at just falling asleep wherever she may be, is fine in the car, goes right to sleep at home, etc. I know it won’t last forever and the next kid may be the opposite, but for now we have an easy-going rockstar of a sleeper who we can take anywhere and allows us all to go with the flow, so it works for us.
nectarine / 2217 posts
we are totally schedule ppl too!
and i looovveee the predictability of it. we do have a lot of evening commitments though (but they are almost always at someone’s house and not a venue of some sort) — and thankfully LO has always been happy to go to sleep in a pack n play in someone’s spare room and be moved hours later to the car and then his crib at home.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@Maysprout: We got a little more scheduled with 2, but by and large we’re pretty loose with it. M. really does need to sleep at 7, but she’s happy to do that anywhere
(Lucky mama!)
pomegranate / 3225 posts
I love this post. Im a schedule as a person and I’m totally puzzled by people that aren’t. In fact it’s 645 and we are in the car and I’m really hoping we get home by seven. I hate to let it run my life but everything is better for her when she’s on her schedule.
guest
We are not schedule people! I like to think of it more like a rhythm to the day as opposed to a strict routine dictated by a clock. It works for us. My 2.5 year old daughter seems to adapt well to changes in time zone (when we travel) and gets enough sleep throughout the day (nap time and length shifts depending on how the night’s sleep went) so I don’t worry too much about it.
On a normal day, bedtime is between 8 and 9 and she naturally wakes up around 7:30 or 8, with a 1.5-2.5 hr nap in the afternoon. We’ve stayed out “late” with her many times for various reasons (outdoor summer concerts, family gatherings, travel to different time zones) and it’s never really been a problem.
cherry / 208 posts
I wouldn’t say we’re schedule people or if we are it’s pretty loose. E has a bedtime but it can be pushed a little later if it needs to be. He likes to have his first nap three hours after he wakes up but if he wakes up late one day then his nap “schedule” adjusts as well. I know it’s great to put a baby on a schedule early on but I always felt like I would be creating a cage for myself and my fellow caregivers (DH, my parents etc.) and we would then be stuck.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
we were definitely schedule people when charlie was younger. then we started hanging out with some friends regularly who kept their daughter up til 10 every friday because they always had friends over. she was the same age as charlie (2). that’s when we started pushing his bedtime later occasionally.
it matters less when they’re a little bit older.
with olive we stuck to a schedule but were more lax than we were with charlie. and now that she’s 20 months old, we do have a schedule, but we’re pretty lax. for instance she might nap anywhere between 12 – 2pm depending on what we’re doing, and bedtime might be between 8-9.
cherry / 157 posts
I love this post and absolutely plan to have my future LO on a schedule. Thanks to everyone for sharing theirs
cherry / 119 posts
we’re definitely schedule people, but loosening up now that my LO is 18 months. she used to always be in bed by 7pm, and she’d actually be the one to head towards the gate to tell us she’s ready to go to her room. we always regretted keeping her out past her bedtime. over the past month or so, we’ve noticed she doesn’t really get tired until 7:30pm, so we’ve pushed it back slightly.
cherry / 174 posts
I was a non schedule person before having DS but now that he’s about two weeks old… I’m thinking that I need to be a scheduler to keep him happy.
guest
Oh Schedule. Im also a bit of a control freak, and need to plan all. So this works for me and my baby.
persimmon / 1295 posts
@woodentulip: I almost sent this post to you
We are definitely schedule people when it comes to naps and sleeping. A friend invited me to a wedding shower tomorrow night and I declined (start time 730) saying it was bedtime for LO. She responded saying her LO is going (younger than my LO.) yikes! So late!
In terms of other parts of the day it is definitely anything goes. I have no idea what is for breakfast, lunch or supper until an hour before!
coffee bean / 36 posts
Schedule person, all the way…with twins it is a necessity!
kiwi / 640 posts
we’re flexible schedule people. on a normal day, bedtime routine starts at 7:30 and he’s in bed by 8. but since we’re both working parents, if we’re having a ton of fun with DS and he’s not showing extreme tired signs, we’ll enjoy the moment and let him stay up a little longer and make the bath a quick one (btw, i am a total schedule person, but DH has taught me to enjoy the moment a little more :)). On weekends we regularly stay out past 7:30 and bring pj’s and a bottle if we’re going to be out much past bedtime. We read DS’s cues.
Like the lottery tagline: know your limit, play within it.
grapefruit / 4770 posts
No kids yet, but schedule vs, no schedule causes riff raff between DH and I! He is a total schedule person as in goes to bed wakes up same time, likes to plan timing of vacations and lets leave by 7, get there by x, eat lunch x, etc. me? I’m a free spirit through and through. I just do what I feel like, and it drives him mad! His family are big schedulers, my family has always been carefree. Parenting will be interesting!
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
We are totally schedule people because Little M makes us that way. In the beginning a schedule helped calm the insanity of the whole newness of having a newborn, but now it’s a necessity for his happiness. We tried to push naptime back 30 minutes the other day and had an epic meltdown in a store. Then his nap was shorter than ever. Sometimes we’ll stay out a little bit past his 5:30 bath time, but then we’ll skip bath and he’ll be in bed by 7 instead of 6:30. Usually messing with the evening routine messes up his days for a couple of days following. He just won’t sleep as late, will be fussy, etc. So schedule it is! It’s nice to know when things are going to happen and that we can plan our adult days around his schedule.
grapefruit / 4120 posts
We are not schedule people at ALL. I try to get the 2 year old down around 8 but I’d say more often than not I don’t. And the baby, forget about it. She goes to sleep when we do, even if that’s 11 pm.
We are schedule rebels I guess… we have tried to make our kids adapt to our lives rather than vice versa, insofar as it’s possible. We all get less sleep this way! But it’s what we prefer.
grapefruit / 4669 posts
We’re not schedule people. I’m not sure if that will change or not; still kind of letting LO run things at this point!
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
I keep a pretty flexible schedule, and I’m definitely one of those people who you might see out and about after dark. But his “schedule” runs later than “normal”. His bedtime is usually 9:30, but can be half an hour either way (and then he usually wakes up between 9:30-10am. If it’s bedtime or close to and DH calls saying he’s off work I’ll usually keep him awake so they can see each other. That’s more important to me than keeping to a strict schedule.
It works much better for our family since DH works later hours (and goes in later). Having him sleep 6:30-6:30 would make me nuts, because I cannot get up that early AND still spend time with DH when he gets home. If he doesn’t get off until 1AM and we were on a more traditional schedule I’d really need to be asleep already to function, and that just doesn’t work for us.
All of that said, if DH worked more traditional, set hours we’d go with a more traditional schedule. And I’ll have to move it back when some when DS is older, of course, but we’ll just deal with that when we have to…
bananas / 9118 posts
The easiest way to make me hyperventilate is to tell me that I have to keep to a clock. We are very relaxed and don’t really worry about an exact schedule. We have general times where things happen, but don’t really worry when it doesn’t always work out. We may have gotten STTN’s sooner had we followed an exact schedule, but flexibility is more important to us.
guest
We are total schedule people too! There’s some comfort in the predictability of it. Sometimes I wish I could be a little more flexible with it too. We stayed out a little later while we were on vacation and felt like we were really living on the edge!
guest
I am totally a schedule person. I need to know what comes next and when. DH is NOT a schedule person. It took me a while to accept his method of parenting. On the days where the kids are mostly with me (we work somewhat opposite schedules), our day runs on my schedule. When DH is home with them, no schedule. Sometimes I would call him at 2 to find out that they not anywhere close to going down for their naps, AND they haven’t eaten lunch yet. “What? They had snacks,” is the usual response.
I realized that the kids are happy, safe and not starving so it’s ok for him to do things his way. The only time I really get on hos case is bedtime. He is better at playing with them and could stay up all night wrestling them, throwing them in the air, etc.
watermelon / 14206 posts
We are no longer schedule people.
DS is only governed by the school year. His bedtime is 7 the nights before a school day (although for first grade, we’re upping it to 8).
But, on week days, and during the summer, we come and go at will.
We were totally governed by nap/bed time during his early years, though.
When we have another baby, though, we’re not going to be able to be governed by her nap schedule. DS has things to do, I have things to do and DH has things to do. Next LO will have to go with the flow. There’s not much other choice!
GOLD / coffee bean / 41 posts
You may not be judging them, but they’re judging you! LOL. We are schedule people and Max has always craved the consistency and “early” bedtime, too. But the non-schedule people or non-parents are always criticizing me, as if I’m forcing the kid to sleep and nap at regular/early times. (i.e. Grandma, etc) Sometimes I wish we could be more flexible, too, but at the end of the day, I prefer knowing that my kid is going to be (happily) in bed at a specific time so that I can put my feet up, vs. the alternative unknown!!
pea / 17 posts
We are schedule people but mostly about our toddler’s nap time. If he naps later than usual he won’t go to bed when we are wiped out at the end of be day, will try to sleep in the next day throwing off THAT nap, etc. I feel like it screws things up for days! We have had to be flexible due to family circumstances last year when he was younger, but now that we have worked to keep him on schedule he has been sleeping much better at night.
guest
I love this post! My husband and I are “schedule people” but our 5.5 month old son is not! We tried to put him on a fixed schedule and it just is not working. We try to start getting him down for bedtime at 7 or 7:30 and it always ends up in a failed effort. The earliest I can get him down is 8:30 and that is a “good night.” We usually are getting him to sleep at 9/9:30. He only goes to sleep for me as well. I am back to work … so that means that I do not get to eat until after 9pm.
He naps during the day with our au pair, but he is waiting for me to get home… I love the time with him, but I wonder if it is healthy? He sleeps most of the morning though … so I think that he just has adjusted his schedule so that we can maximize our time together. These babies are amazing aren’t they?