Our sleep journey with the Trikester has been tumultuous. Up until six months of age, he slept in the Rock ‘N Play – it was an adequate set-up, but he was starting to outgrow the portable cradle. I knew we needed to get him into the crib, and based on our previous attempts, I was expecting the transition to be a huge fight.
Although I wanted to avoid the sleep training war in the worst way, it had to happen, so around 5 months of age I started plotting a strategy.1) Set a (reasonable) deadline. I didn’t want to sleep train, so I kept finding excuses to put it off: I’m tired, the baby has a cold, we have a busy day tomorrow, I think the baby is teething, etc. When sleep training, timing is important, so delaying it wasn’t helping our cause. As per Mrs. Bee’s post on the book Bed Timing, babies are most receptive to sleep training during certain periods of development. The authors, developmental therapists, note that the most ideal time to sleep train is between 5.5 and 7 months of age. If I waited much beyond that window, my next good opportunity to sleep train wouldn’t arrive until the Trikester almost hit the one-year mark. No way was I waiting another six months to make this happen, so I set a deadline to accomplish sleep training by the time he was seven months old.
3) Begin a sustainable routine. We’ve had a routine since about month 3: bath, story, and then nurse to sleep. Nursing the baby to sleep wasn’t going to work for CIO, as I had to be able to put him in the crib awake. In order to prep for the transition, I switched up our routine two weeks before we started sleep training. Now we nurse, take a bath, and read books.
4) Establish a schedule for night feeds. I didn’t want to night wean – just not ready to do that yet. In order for CIO to work, I could only get the Trikester out of the crib when it was time to eat. If I didn’t have a set schedule, I wouldn’t know when the crying was for food vs. dissatisfaction with the crib. A month or two before we started sleep training, I worked really hard to time his night feeds to 1:30 AM and 4:00ish AM (see Part I). Also, I think it’s really important to note that CIO isn’t designed to stop night feeds – if you try to CIO and night wean at the same time, you’re going to have twice as many tears (as per my reading).
5) Quit the swaddle. We were still swaddling at 5.5 months, but when we transitioned to the crib, we’d have to cut the swaddle because the Trikester is a champion roller. At around 4.5 months I started swaddling him with one arm out knowing that eventually we’d have to ditch the swaddle all together (though I usually re-swaddled him with both arms in after our 4:00 AM nursing session). Then at about 5.5 months I stopped swaddling altogether. We continued to use the same Halo sleepsack; I just wrapped the Velcro wings around his belly with both arms out.
6) Ensure you’ve got two sets of crib sheets, mattress pads, and sleep sacks. The Trikester never leaked in the Rock ‘N Play, but his second night in the crib was a soppy mess. I only had one mattress pad and one sleep sack, so when I picked up his drippy little body at 1:30 AM, I realized he couldn’t go back in the crib. I felt like we took a step backwards, as he slept in the Rock ‘N Play the rest of the night.
7) Get a video monitor. Don’t have one? Buy one. When your baby is crying, it’s comforting to watch him and see that he’s physically okay. My other piece of advice – turn the sound off on the monitor. It’s heart wrenching enough to hear muffled sobs from the upstairs nursery – it’s almost impossible to hear crying amplified through a monitor.
8) Buy wine, lots of wine and DVR a good show. During our first few nights of CIO I had a glass of wine and watched trashy Bravo reality shows. I need major distraction to get through the process.
With battle plan in place, we started sleep training last week. The first night he cried for 40 minutes, the second night he cried for 30 minutes, and the third night he cried for 15 minutes. He usually wakes up and cries for 2-10 minutes (this is decreasing significantly as we go on) around midnight, and then wakes up to eat around 1:30 and 4:00. When I return him to the crib after nursing he cries for less than 30 seconds, and then falls back asleep. The second night of CIO he slept through the night, but he hasn’t done that since.
Is his sleep perfect? No way. We’ve been doing this for a week, and it still takes him 20 minutes to fall asleep in his crib. There’s usually lots of crying while we wait for this to happen. Twenty minutes of nightly crying is a long time, and it makes me question what we’re doing wrong. I think bedtime is probably too late – he’s in the crib by 8:00 PM, but it should probably be an hour earlier to keep him from getting crazy overtired. We’ve been working to move this up little by little every night, so maybe that will help.
He gets between 9 and 10 hours of night-time sleep, and then usually naps for another 4 hours. There’s usually a 1.5 – 2 hour nap first thing, and then two or three shorter naps (45 minutes – 1 hour) during the rest of the day. He’s getting between 13 and 14 hours of sleep, but I don’t think it’s enough. He’s plenty happy during the day, but beginning at 4:00 PM, the grumpiness takes over and multiplies until bedtime.
The most positive aspect of CIO is that I have a little time to myself at night. Before, I went to bed when the baby went to bed, so I was running around every evening to get bottles washed, the dishwasher running, etc. Knowing I have time after he’s asleep takes the pressure off. I also love the fact that Mr. Tricycle and I have a little time to ourselves in the evening after the baby’s in bed. I’m still trying to catch-up on my sleep, so we don’t get through more than one episode of The Big Bang Theory before I call it quits and head to bed, but it is an improvement over the last six months when we had ZERO time in the evening.
Was bedtime a battle in your house? If you sleep trained, how long did it take before you baby peacefully feel asleep in the crib?
squash / 13764 posts
We sleep trained around 6.5 months, and like you, it’s still not perfect–he still sometimes wakes up randomly during the night and cries for 5 minutes or so. But we’ve gotten down to one night feeding, so I am only getting out of bed once during the night, and he’s putting himself back to sleep when he wakes. So all together, it’s much better than it was! I do look forward to him hopefully STTN for real when we night wean…
blogger / persimmon / 1231 posts
@Mrs.Tricycle – when you stopped nursing him as your last step prior to sleep training how did that affect his sleep? We are in a similar situation. My daughter’s almost 6 months and though she sleeps in her crib at night and usually only wakes once to eat… bedtime is a battle. Lots of nursing, pit down, crying, repeat. I think we’re getting close to needing to do some sleep training so she can get more sleep and I can finally enjoy my evenings.
I hope those 20 minutes of crying decreases over time for you all! Thanks for writing this post
pear / 1837 posts
We sleep trainined right before DD turned 10 months. It was rough- she cried for 47 minutes the first night! It’s about 3 weeks later, and she still cries some at bedtime- she just doesn’t want to sleep (hard to reason with her that she needs it). She will usually put herself to sleep before 10 minutes. I question whether or not we are doing it wrong too- shouldn’t she be not crying at all by now? We also didn’t night wean- she wakes up once or twice to eat (much better than having to be nursed back to sleep every hour every night). And I knew we would have to do the extenction method- going back in just makes her more upset. So hang in there, it does get better (once DD fell asleep in 2 minutes! That’s what I’m talking about!)
honeydew / 7687 posts
We did no cry sleep solution around 4 months; it’s worked well for us. 90% of the time he goes down for the night peacefully without tears around 6:15-6:45 and wakes once to eat between 11:30-3 and is up for the day between 6-6:45. That sounds so rough!! I totally agree on having to have a video monitor though, I think now that a lot of the times he was sleep crying and not even waking up until I went in there to “soothe” him. Now I can see if he is actually awake and needs me!
grapefruit / 4923 posts
i hear you on the glass(es) of wine! when we did CIO around 11 weeks (i know that’s considered young but i was about to simultaneously combust and melt), i went into my room, shut the door, put in earphones to watch a comedy, and drank a glass of wine.
i remember being really, really discouraged when, even after a week, it was still taking him anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour to fall asleep. i thought CIO was supposed to be like magic! boy did i learn. 2 months later, things are much better, but there’s almost always some crying at the beginning–i fight feelings that i did something “wrong” in that he’s still crying, but in my heart i know that LO isn’t a great sleeper, but nothing’s wrong and he just needs to fall asleep.
not trying to drag you down to my pitiful level, but it does make me feel better to read people’s honest accounts of their difficult sleep issues–i think it’s easier for the people who only had 3 nights of crying to speak up, leaving people like me feeling like a failure. so, thank you for this post.
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
@edelweiss: Ha, no problem!! I did a fair bit of Googling “baby still cries after two weeks of sleep training.” Glad we could commiserate.
guest
what did you do for naps? I just started letting my almost 8 month old cio at night but have been nursing her to sleep for naps. I don’t think I can take the crying during the day…esp. with a 4 year old to look out for!
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
Fabulous, fabulous post! Bedtime is still a battle here, so I love reading success stories.