Since I’m new to Hellobee, I thought I would share the story of how our son came into our lives. I wrote this in November 2012.
“OUR story…” Just writing that feels funny. A year ago I couldn’t imagine having a “story.” As excited as I was about adoption and becoming a parent, I mostly just felt like it would never happen. After all the ups-and-downs of infertility (and really, there were just “downs”), it was hard to ever feel hopeful that parenthood would ever really come to us. At the time I was actually pretty obsessed with hearing about others’ journeys to parenthood. I loved hearing how God would orchestrate situations and move in people’s hearts and it seemed like God made them parents (whether through miraculous conceptions or adoption) in the perfect timing. I heard so many beautiful stories and was both amazed and jealous. And also in disbelief that we would ever have a story where God worked so beautifully that there was no denying His will and purpose. How could WE ever have that story?!
But, He did and we do! He moved and worked in our hearts and in our circumstances to confirm for us 100% that He wanted it to be this way and that it’s the BEST way, despite all the sadness and grief that infertility has caused.
The excitement REALLY began when we were contacted the first weekend of May by one of our adoption agencies. They told us that we were chosen by a birthmom due with a baby girl in just 3 weeks! We were SHOCKED! We were not expecting it since we were told the average wait time would be much longer. Sometimes I think back on that day and remember the excitement, exhilaration and fear that I felt. I don’t know I how I got through that week with any kind of focus on my job or getting things done around the house.
Unfortunately, we weren’t able to schedule a meeting with the birthmom until May 14th, a date over a week after we heard we were chosen. So, for that week we hoped and planned and were also scared that it wouldn’t work out when she met us. What if we didn’t like each other? What if she changed her mind? What if something went wrong? So we pretty much kept it just between the two of us. We talked about it ALL the time with each other, getting excited about a sweet, baby girl becoming our daughter! I truly couldn’t believe we would very likely become parents in just 3 weeks!
On Mother’s Day, one day before we were scheduled to drive 3 hours to meet the birthmom, we broke down and decided we just HAD to tell my parents. We took the opportunity to tell my mom on this special day that she could become a grandma in just 2 weeks. Right after we shared the news with my family, including my mom (who bawled her eyes out), dad and sister and with my other sister and brother-in-law on skype, the phone rang out of the blue. When I saw that it was the agency, my first emotions were fear and disbelief! We hadn’t met the birthmom yet! We were NOT READY for whatever our social worker was going to tell us on the other line!
Did she change her mind? Was she already in labor!? We thought we still had 2 weeks to get used the idea of actually becoming parents!
I answered the phone with shaking hands and shouted to Dave that he HAD to answer the phone with me. With my whole immediate family in the background, we were shocked to hear that the birthmother had not only given birth on 12:15 on MOTHER’S DAY, but also that it was to a baby BOY! She told us we needed to head to the hospital ASAP to come meet our son and his birthmom and give him a name! They told us that when she held this precious baby boy in her arms for the first time she said, “He’s beautiful. But, he’s not mine. He’s David and Elizabeth’s.”
I can’t even describe all the emotions of the day. The excitement, the surprise, the fear, the shock of a BOY instead of a GIRL, the anxiety of wondering whether or not the birthmom would change her mind once she met us, or once she spent more time with this sweet boy in the hospital. The panic of needing to buy basics, like bottles and diapers! Less than a week and a half ago I had wondered if I would ever become a mother, and TODAY, on Mother’s Day, I found out I will probably be bringing home my SON in just 48 hours.
The next 2 days were a flurry. If you’re interested in domestic adoption, just know that the time at the hospital will be hard, VERY HARD and full of conflicting emotions, many of which you feel for the birthmom. We brought sweet boy home on Tuesday, May 15th when he was just 2 days old. Pictures taken of me from these days show sheer exhaustion yet pure joy. I couldn’t believe this was MY life, that THIS was happening to ME! TO US!
Everything came together in those days that I lived in a whirlwind. And the pain of infertility all seemed worth it. Worth it one hundred times over. I studied every finger and toe. Every time he opened his eyes I couldn’t stop staring at him. He was the answer to so many prayers and despite my lack of sleep I was deliriously happy. And completely in awe that this was our son and that God had completely orchestrated the way he came into our lives. After so much loss, God had truly redeemed our pain and our loss and turned it into joy and thankfulness.
Six months later and I can’t even believe time has passed so quickly! Parenthood is hard and sometimes very tiring. I’ve had a couple of meltdowns and cried when I’ve felt like I couldn’t do it all. And days where I wonder where God will take us next. Or how He will provide us with our next child (we always wanted 3 or 4). But, I have to remind myself of those days surrounding Mother’s Day. How God has held us in His hands every day, every minute of this journey. Even when I thought I couldn’t take one more pregnancy announcement, one more disappointment, one more miraculous story that wasn’t mine. Sometimes we get into our routine and I forget to stop and praise God for the work he has done in our lives. I feel humbled that God chose us to be this sweet boy’s parents. We don’t deserve to have been blessed with such a wonderful baby. But, He HAS blessed us indeed. With a beautiful story. A story of changed hearts and changed lives.
People say that he is lucky to have us as parents. That we did such a “good thing” for choosing adoption. But, these people have no idea. It is US who are truly blessed to have him in our lives as our son. He brightens our day and makes us smile whenever we think of him. WE are the lucky ones, for he truly is what his name means, even more than we ever would have imaged. He is our true “gift from God.”
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
Tears. Tears.
What a blessing. Ty for sharing.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
What an unbelievable story. Praise God for blessing you with your perfect son!!!! Your family is absolutely beautiful.
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
I just about cried when I read the part where the birthmom said he was yours. Beautiful story and truly one that shows God always has the best plans for us.
pineapple / 12053 posts
and i’m crying as i eat my breakfast! what a whirlwind, in so many ways!
pomelo / 5000 posts
What a sweet story you all have. Love your outlook and can’t wait to hear more about your times as a new family!
grapefruit / 4441 posts
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story!
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
I. LOVE. THIS. What an amazing and incredible story. We truly do end up parenting the children we were meant to.
grapefruit / 4187 posts
I am crying at my desk, thank you so much for sharing your story!
honeydew / 7916 posts
What a beautiful story!
nectarine / 2771 posts
What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing!
coconut / 8498 posts
Praise the Lord for adopting us and for allowing us to get a glimpse of that through adopting children!
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
Such a beautiful story!! *tears* Thank you for sharing!!!
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
And… crying at the office. What a beautiful story!!
pomegranate / 3890 posts
beautiful story, im tearing up! what a wonderful mother’s day gift
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts
this totally made me tear up! what a fantastic story. so happy for you all! you can just see your happiness in those photos.
persimmon / 1116 posts
Thank you for sharing this with us!! God is good!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
I have joined the ranks of people brought to tears by your post. Every little bit of your story resonates with me. The hospital is truly so hard and so emotional. And I absolutely agree that we (the adoptive parents) are the lucky ones. Beautifully written!
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
What a great story! You look so in love with your son.
pomegranate / 3921 posts
Love this! What a sweet family.
pineapple / 12566 posts
Beautiful story, beautiful family. Thanks for sharing.
GOLD / pomegranate / 3938 posts
This is such a sweet story. You and your husband and your baby are adorable together. Congratulations on becoming parents!
pomegranate / 3225 posts
Beautiful story!
coconut / 8079 posts
What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing.
bananas / 9357 posts
This brought me to tears! Beautiful story.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
This is such an amazing story! I hadn’t considered how I would feel toward our birth mom in the hospital, but once we were there I was overwhelmed by sadness for her. I still feel it from time to time. I love your story
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
Wow!! Thank you all so much for your sweet words! It’s interesting that I wrote this back in November, because even today, over a year after we brought him home, all of this seems like a dream! I’m so glad I wrote it down so we can tell him how much of a blessing he has been to us since even before he was born.
pear / 1786 posts
Thank you for sharing your story! It also brought happy tears to my eyes! I am curious how long you were told the wait would be and how long it actually was. I know that the wait time quoted by agencies has to be an average but I am very interested in real stories. Thank you again!
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
@KentuckyGirl- We were told to anticipate 18 months, but were matched after just 5!
grape / 81 posts
Adoption stories are the best “birth” stories!!
pomelo / 5791 posts
Tears! Such a beautiful story!
I was adopted. My parents were told about me on a Thursday (I was already 3 months old), and I came home on Saturday! I can’t imagine having so little notice!