Hellobee

On June 17th, Drake and I went to what would be my last OBGYN visit for Chocolate Baby. Drake has come with me to every visit for Chocolate Baby and loves seeing the baby on the screen. The previous week I was 2 cm dilated and my doctor and Mr Chocolate were sure I wouldn’t make it to this appointment, but lo and behold I did.

My doctor came to examine me and said I was 4 cm dilated and asked if I had been noticing any contractions, which I hadn’t. If you recall Drake’s birth story, I didn’t really feel a lot of pain or contractions until I was much further along for some reason. Chocolate Baby’s pregnancy was different from Drake’s though in that I got Braxton Hicks contractions for the first time. Most of the time they were uncomfortable, as my belly would tighten and make it hard to breathe, but often my tummy would be hard but I wouldn’t register any pain. We did a growth scan to see how big Chocolate Baby was, and the tech estimated 7 lbs 12 ozs.

Drake was so happy to see baby again on the screen. Since we were taking a long time with the scan, Drake was getting restless in the room. He found a sonogram photo someone had left behind and insisted on holding it even though I told him that wasn’t our baby.  The tech said it was fine and she gave me a scan of Chocolate Baby to see if he would switch, but he wouldn’t!  So we went home that day with instructions to call if anything happened whatsoever, Chocolate Baby’s last sonogram photo, and the sonogram photo of an unknown baby as well.

My doctor didn’t think I would last more than a day or two more, so I took Drake to Barnes and Noble to pick out a book and get a birthday treat — our last adventure as just the two of us. After we got home I called Mr. Chocolate to give him the progress report, and he decided to make plans to be absent the next day from school just in case. The day went on as usual.  I felt no different than I had the previous week, and even vaguely hoped that maybe I still had a few more days left.

M O N D A Y   –  7 : 0 0  P M

After Mr. Chocolate came home, I went to the bathroom and saw some blood.  It was around 7 PM at the time and we had just finished dinner.  I informed Mr. Chocolate and asked if we ought to call his mother to come by in case we ended up needing to go to the hospital that night.  Mr. Chocolate called and his mother said she would be over in a little while.  I still felt fine — no pain, no discomfort. We put Drake to bed together and I made sure to read extra books and cuddled him that much more in case this was our last night together for a while.

8 : 0 0  P M

Mr. Chocolate’s mother arrived along with her sleeping bag and overnight things. After talking to me she wasn’t entirely sure if she felt like she had to stay the night since I seemed fine, and I was fine.  Mr. Chocolate decided to try to time what he felt were contractions when I noticed my belly tightening but had no pain, but they were so erratic he gave up after a while. We sat at the table with Mr. Chocolate’s mother chatting away.

1 0 : 0 0   P M

I decided to head to bed in case this was indeed the night.  I had debated for a while whether to contact my doctor after the bloody show, but after my experience with Drake where I labored in the hospital, most of which was painless and boring, I didn’t want to waste my time again wandering around the hospital wings waiting for progress when I would be more happy and comfortable at home.  If anything I would sleep better I reasoned, so I waited. I snuck into Drake’s room to see him sleeping peacefully and headed to bed myself.

Last night as an only child

T U E S D A Y  –  5 : 0 0   A M

I woke up feeling a little uncomfortable.  My belly was tightening at times and I was mildy aware of it.  The pain wasn’t bad — just uncomfortable and there.  I tried to time them out a little, but gave up and woke Mr. Chocolate up to do it.  At 5 AM he wasn’t the most responsive and wanted to time a few contractions before he would get up out of bed.  The big change that made me feel like something was different was that I was aware of the tightening, and I could feel some pain even if it was manageable and not painful.

I called my doctor after Mr. Chocolate confirmed they were coming on average around every 5-7 minutes.  My doctor said to go to the hospital to get checked out, so off we went.  We had loaded the car the night before so a quick pop in the guest room to let Mr. Chocolate’s mom know we were going, and off we went.  I remember wishing I could go in and see Drake one more time, but I feared waking him up so early and then having to make Mr. Chocolate’s mom get up with him so I didn’t. But I thought about him the whole drive over to the hospital, wishing I had gotten to see him before we left.  During the car ride I had a few contractions and while once again manageable, the pain level had increased ever so slightly.

6 : 0 0   A M

We made it to the hospital and were admitted into the labor floor quickly. The nurse came to do a cervical check and estimated me to be around 6 cm dilated.  I was a little deflated to hear that as with Drake the pain hadn’t really been unmanageable closer to 8 cm, and this time I was already feeling them at 6.  I wondered for the first time if I could do another natural delivery.

I started to feel funny all over.  I felt like I had to pee and would run to the bathroom but nothing would come out.  The nurses kept wanting me to stay in the bed so they could monitor Chocolate Baby, but almost the moment I sat down in bed I would feel the urge to go pee again.  Soon the pain was getting worse.  Unlike most women I think who feel contractions in the back to the front, all my pain was radiating in my thighs; they felt like they were sore and tired like I had run a marathon times 100.  Over time the pain kept radiating downwards into them and the only place I felt comfortable was sitting on the toilet, which the nurses kept insisting I couldn’t stay on.

My doctor came in and said I was at 8 cm, and if I wanted any kind of pain mediation now would be the time to ask.  I hesitated — the pain was getting stronger and stronger and I did feel like it was hard to deal with, but I wanted to do it natural again simply because I had before and felt like I could do it again… maybe.  A few more contractions later I asked for an epidural.  I was once again sitting on the toilet only to be shooed off, and I just couldn’t bear it anymore.  One of the wonderful nurses there told me that she would call for the epidural but I was so close and she was so sure that I could do this if I trusted her and leaned on her during the pain.  They started the IV drip for the epidural and my doctor came to check. I was at 9 cm already.

I kind of feel like this part was a bit of a haze.  I’m not sure if it’s because my children seem to want to be born at times when I don’t feel like I had gotten enough sleep, or that labor itself is simply that exhausting, but I started to try to close my eyes and rest in between the contractions.  At one point I thought I felt like I had to have a bowel movement, so the nurses said I could start to push if that helped.  My mind instantly went to panic as I remembered the 4 hour pushing nightmare it took to get Drake born. While I had felt a slight need to vacate my bowels, I certainly wouldn’t have called it an urge to push by any means, and I was sure somehow I wouldn’t know what I was doing again and we would be stuck in this pushing nightmare once again.  Sure enough my pushes didn’t seem to be doing much at first.

8:00 AM

My doctor had returned and confirmed I was at 10 cm and could push, but from her expression it really didn’t seem like I was making much progress at all.  I was having a very hard time holding back my thighs, especially as that was were the pain was I just didn’t have the strength and energy to pull them back as far as they needed.

My wonderful nurse decided to switch positions and asked me to roll to my side to push. I remember thinking how in the world am I going to push on my side of all things? But Mr. Chocolate said it was in that small time period, maybe 3-4 pushes on my side that seemed to change everything.

After I was told to lay back on my back there was a scurry of motion in the room as my doctor asked for the bed to be broken down, a cart was wheeled in with her tools, a baby nurse was called to the room, etc.  Now it seemed we had made some kind of progress — what progress I couldn’t tell you, but certainly something.  I never did feel my body helping me push along like it ought to have been, but maybe my time with Drake did teach me something. With every push I remember asking is this the one that will end it all? And my doctor saying, “It might if you keep going.”

I don’t know how many more pushes I ended up doing; every time I pushed I prayed this was the one to end it all. I think when my doctor said the next push could do it, I focused on those words and while that push didn’t do it nor the one after, I knew I had to be getting closer. I think on the fourth push after my doctor had said those words, Chocolate Baby entered the world.  Unlike with Drake where I really couldn’t see much, this time I was able to see Chocolate Baby’s entrance into the world as the doctor helped her out and placed her red little body on my chest.

9 : 1 3  A M

We had checked in a little before 6 AM and had our brand new baby girl a little more than 3 hours later.  To give some perspective, just pushing Drake out took me 4 hours, and in a shorter time span I had done all the laboring, pushing, and had my baby!

Chocolate Baby AKA Juliet Rosalie born June 18 @ 9:13 AM
7 lbs 14ozs 19.5 inches

Mr. Chocolate and his daughter

In many ways Chocolate Baby’s birth was so much more pleasant that Drake’s.  I was able to labor more at home and not wait around in a hospital room.  The pain level I felt was stronger and sooner than it had been with Drake, but I progressed much faster too so that I was able to have a natural birth again, even if I doubted I could this time around. Mr. Chocolate points out that I simply don’t feel the pain until I am so close to the end and it’s almost too late for an epidural, which I guess has its pluses and minuses in some way. In the end I cut my pushing time down from 4 hours to 1 and got the natural birth I had hoped for, so all in all a good day!

Our new family of four

 I feel pushing is always my biggest hurdle since my body doesn’t help me out, and I was convinced I would never be able to push her out.  What was the most difficult part of labor for you?