Hellobee

Y’all, I tried to write a one-month update and then a two-month update with no success; finally, I decided that I should do quarterly reports instead.  :)  In the spirit of full disclosure, I wrote this the week they turned 3 months and it has still taken me almost a month to get this done; these boys are keeping us hustling!

I am equally amazed and appalled that the lil’ dudes hit three-months old in mid-June.  Holy wow, has time flown!

Slowly, but surely, I think the boys are catching up.  At their two month appointment, Finn wasn’t quite on the growth chart yet, and Elliot just barely made it on with his weight in the 5% and his height in the 1% percentile. Notably, Elliot’s head was in the 15% percentile–big headed little guy (compared to the rest of him anyway!).  At 12 weeks, Finn weighed 10 lbs 10 oz., and Elliot weighed 12 lbs. 2 oz.  From birth, they consistently have stayed about a pound and a half apart, so their discordance is actually getting closer and closer percentage wise.  I hope they will be close in size because, despite me calling them Lil’ Brother and Big Brother sometimes, I don’t want one to always be told he’s smaller, his brother is so much bigger, etc.

Sleep

Initially, one boy or the other was up all. the. time.  Last night, that was also true.  Generally, however, the boys consistently have dropped one feeding and wake up between 12:30 and 2:00 and then between 3:00 and 5:00. Three nights in the last week, they only woke once between 9 p.m. and 5 a.m.  While it’s not consistent, it’s encouraging to think that maybe we are going in that direction!  We always wake the other baby up when one wakes up to keep them on the same schedule; so, unfortunately, we really have to have them both skip a feeding/sleep through the night for it to do us any good.  Sometimes I have to remind myself it just may take a little longer for them, but considering they were born small and early, I think they really are doing great with night sleep.  We try to put them down awake but drowsy, and we always swaddle with two arms in.  It seems to work pretty well at night, but not so much for naps.  Their naps are still all over the place and definitely have not started to organize into 3 or 4 structured naps.  About an hour and a half after they start eating, they start getting sleepy and they sleep for 30-45 minutes.  We are about to start some sleep training to try to do away with some middle of the night wakings that aren’t for food and to help the boys be able to go to sleep on their own better, which I hope will make their transition to day care easier.

Eating

The boys are almost exclusively on formula these days.  They eat between 2-3.5 oz. per feeeding.  We feed them every 3 hours during the day time.  There are a million things I could say about our breastfeeding/pumping journey, but for the purposes of this update, I’ll just say that (1) the boys are growing great, and (2) I’m almost over my inability to give them all or mostly breast milk. Here’s to trying with the next baby.  Feeding them has been a really emotional journey for me, often full of guilt and worry, but I’m happy to say they are thriving, we are extremely bonded, and I’m looking forward rather than backwards.  Lately, I’ve been starting to think through whether we will do baby led weaning or purees because as crazy as it sounds, that’s only a few months away from now!

Development

The boys seem to be somewhere between their adjusted age and their actual age developmentally.  They’ve both discovered their voices and love to make lots of noises while they play.  They both smile a lot, though Finn is a little more free with his smiles.  Elliot makes me work for them more; he’s very contemplative and likes to study things out thoroughly before he gets to the smiley part.  Their new trick is to try to mimic our faces.  Trying to get them to stick out their tongue is my favorite game right now.

They haven’t discovered their hands yet, but they are working in that direction.  They definitely grab hair and necklaces, but they aren’t to the point of intentionally grabbing or flapping their hands against toys yet.  They dislike more than a few minutes of tummy time, but they can push their chest off the ground without any problems if they are in the right mood.  Their head control is great now.

They love: their play mat, making faces, looking at Mama & Papa, “standing up” when we are supporting them, snuggling together in their crib, and they’re a little obsessed with looking at fans and lights, including the window.

They tolerate: tummy time and baths.  Elliot tolerates his car seat.

They hate: Finn hates his car seat.  Elliot hates being even remotely hungry.

How they are alike:  They almost always hold their hands/arms in the exact same position at the same time, especially when they are asleep without a swaddle.  They look so much alike, other than the weight difference.  Finn usually looks like Elliot did a couple weeks before.  They seem to hit most developmental milestones within a week of each other.  They have strawberry blond hair in the back of their head, and their eyes are getting lighter and lighter, so it looks like they will be blue or green.

How they are different:  Their personalities are definitely stating to show through and are a little different.  Elliot really is our “gentle giant.”  He is very laid back, except when he is hungry.  He does not tolerate a fool when it’s even close to time to eat.  Food is serious business!  Actually everything is a little more serious with Elliot.  He contemplates everything and really studies things out, furrowing his brow just like I do when I’m thinking hard. He’s got a slow, sweet smile, but it takes a few minutes more for him to warm up and decide to play or be smiley.  Finn is full of energy and smiles.  He’s my little clown.  He will start smiling and cooing almost immediately when you smile at him.  The more you laugh, the more he tries to laugh along with you, although he’s only managed to get one actual giggle out. He’s generally pretty laid back, but he fusses a little more than his brother.

Our Parental Development

We just can’t believe how lucky we are to get to raise these lil’ dudes.  While it’s definitely a learning process, we are having a lot of fun.  Exhausting, but fun.  We have really gotten into our groove in the last 6 weeks or so.  The first 2-3 weeks we seemed to be in a euphoric state where it all seemed pretty easy because we were just on such a high.  Then, the sleep deprivation and overwhelming weight and monotony of caring for two newborns kicked in and it got really, really, really challenging.  Around 10 weeks, we seemed to hit our stride.  The boys started sleeping one longer stretch of 5-6 hours, which was huge in helping us to feel more human again.  I’d heard that somewhere around 3 months, the newborn twin parent fog lifts and you start seeing the first glimpses of it getting “easier.”  I think this is definitely true.  While it’s certainly lots of work and there are always new challenges to raising twins, it’s getting much more manageable.  One of the fantastic things about parenting multiples is that it can make or break a marriage.  It’s so much work and so exhausting that you either become a strong team working as one unit or you fall apart.  For us, it has been a huge blessing.  While I think we had a strong marriage prior to the boys’ arrival, I absolutely feel like our tie to each other has been strengthened.

All in all, the first quarter has been a resounding success, though it has been an exhausting time in our life.   We’re anticipating a second quarter full of even more fun as the Babies Blue continue to become more interactive and soak in every bit of their world that they can get their hands (or more accurately, their mouths) on.

What was the best/worst “quarter” of your LO’s first year?